The (Un)Fair Elections Act - Bring It On?!

Ever burned thickly the pyres of the dead.
Homer, The Iliad, Book I.52-53, Barry B. Powell translation

It was a week of spectacle here in Ottawa, as the erstwhile Minister of Democratic Reform in the personage of Pierre 'Trailer Park' Poilievre rolled out into the great hall on Parliament Hill with his his speaking points written in block letters, and a full seven days growth of facial pussy hair, as he introduced the 'Harper Government's new (Un)Fair Elections Act. At 246 pages to get to three, possibly four, minor changes one could only wonder in bewildered amusement what the punks in short pants at the Prime Ministers Office were up to this time.

Elections Canada - Future Staff...

As it rolled out into the ether of the news cycle here in Canada one could swear that the lads at Elections Canada were soon going to be wearing SS uniforms, and sporting funny facial hair. The head of Elections Canada and the Leader of the NDP went ballistic at the proposed changes. And to tell the truth Dear Reader, so did the Oracle of Ottawa. But for some reason The Liberal Party of Canada was somewhat strangely mute on the whole issue through out the week.  Then just before press time, it all became clear to the Oracle of Ottawa.

The present joke going about Ottawa at the time of this writing, for all the people in the know of such things, is as follows; Question; Why do the simplest bills by the 'Harper Government' require hundreds of pages? Answer: The contracted lawyers in India are paid by the word. Ho -Ho! The Oracle of Ottawa loves that one. You can't make this stuff up. The actual text is said to be contracted "out" and then screened by the remaining lawyers at the Department of Justice. In plain English that should be the actual contracted out legislation is checked by some back benchers brother in law that happened to be on the Conservative Party donors list. Not exactly the brightest bulb in the box, but never any surprises, and so eager to please the Masters.

As the week wore on still no indignation from the Liberal Party of Canada. Canada's Ruling Party. After a few hushed inquiries the Oracle of Ottawa got the dope. But don't tell anybody that you heard from the Oracle of Ottawa. As soon as the (Un)fair Election Act was released shortly after the initial announcement, several copies were soon on their way by courier to the lawyers of the Liberal Party of Canada. And as every one knows in Ottawa, the Liberal Party of Canada has the best and brightest minds in all of Canada. There are the elite of the legal profession. And Canada's elite are so much more gifted and intelligent then the rubes from Ducks Ass Alberta that are presently employed by the Manning Center in Calgary, natch.

Well it did not take long for the 246 pages of the "Thank You Very Much" legislation to be fed into the latest AI parser program and then through the most brilliant assembled minds to come to the shocking, but very expected discovery of several large unintended loop holes that are said to be large enough for a half dozen XL Pipelines and a dozen burning old DOT oil tanker cars to slide through with out any repercussion. The young Justin was informed of the news in less than 90 minutes after the announcement, and the most excellent twisting that the new legislation will be amendable to in the next general election... Young Justin Trudeau thanked the lads and is keeping a low profile on the topic in case the Conservatives change their minds.   

Is Ben Heppner Finished?

Night has come. It is good to obey the night. 
Homer, The Ilaid, Book 7.286, Barry B. Powell Translation

At the time of this writing Ben Heppner is probably the most famous opera singer that Canada has ever produced. He has sung all over the world, and has performed darn near all the starring roles. He has won a ton of awards including seven honorary doctorates, and the highest level of the Order of Canada that a Canadian could possibly get. He also has an exclusive contract with Deutsche Grammophon, the poshest classical music label on Earth, and the oldest established surviving record label on Earth! All signs seem to point to a very successful career.

Don't ask me! I can't figure it out either...

 You would think that an opera singer with these bona fides would be constantly in the Gulfstream G650 winging his entourage from one great city to the next in an unabashed orgy of major earning power, like that old Italian guy did until he died, whose name at present and out of respect alludes the Oracle of Ottawa at the time of this writing. It seems that Ben Heppner has taken on a lesser job in the opinion of the Oracle of Ottawa.

On Saturday the Oracle of Ottawa does his coveted Saturday Routine, and while he his going from stop to stop, he has Saturday Afternoon At The Opera on the car radio. As of late the oracle of Ottawa is puzzled as to why and how someone like Ben Heppner is on the Oracles car radio as a mere host! Shouldn't I be hearing about Ben Heppner as he tours to packed recital halls, instead of hearing from him in a play by play from the deep subterranean basement studios of the CBC? What is up with that Dear Reader? What ever could be wrong with Ben Heppner?   

'Harper Government' - Just Can't Deliver

The painful but necessary duty was accordingly laid on some poor devil, some social outcast, some wretch with whom the world had gone hard, who readily agreed to throw away his life at the end of a few days if only he might have his fling in the meantime. 
Sir James George Frazer, The Golden Bough, p. 665

For any literate Canadian that has ever read the works of Charles Dickens through to the works of as late as Sir John Maynard Keynes, knows that even in the days of tooth and claw capitalism you not only got your mail delivered once a day right to your door, but in most areas of the Royal Post, you got your mail delivered two or more times a day! And you didn't have to go to a mail box to post a letter! The carriers also did pick ups!

Canada Post will thrive under the next Trudeau Governemnt

So the Oracle of Ottawa thought it all very strange when he heard the ambush announcement on his lunch time news today that Canada Post is no longer going to deliver the mail to Canadians in cities! There was the usual song and dance that due to the digital age that mail delivery has dropped by some astronomical number. What Canada Post and the scum at the 'Harper Government' Bund does not tell you is that for every piece of mail that they are no longer carrying, has been replaced by three rich profit margin parcels from the likes of Amazon.com!

The Oracle of Ottawa does not know where Canada Post gets its figures, but there is no less mail in the Oracle of Ottawas mail box! And when there is no mail there is always that stinking junk mail that Canada Post does not count as mail, but makes a freakin fortune delivering for the corporate whores of Canada assorted. And if it is going so hard and rough at Canada Post how do you explain those custom made Ford Utility trucks that every postman now drives around in? Why it was only a few decades ago that Canada Post used to drive each and every vehicle till the wheels fall off. Now that they aren't making any money (!) they have given every mailman his own brand new, custom made, inner city Ford van!!  

The Oracle of Ottawa is fairly certain that he will not be collecting his mail like a peasant at a community mail box any time soon, or ever, as a matter of fact. Now the Oracle of Ottawa knows that the 'Harper Government' is campaigning for Justin Trudeau, but this will certainly put the icing on the cake for the next election. Most of the people that will be affected by this crap live in riding's that the conservatives won by a margin of less than one percent.

The Oracle of Ottawa does not know why Canada Post cannot make a go of it. Do you think that people in Germany that are well served by Deutsche Bundespost  have to demean themselves by going to a community mail box like some peasant? I think not! How is it that the so called social engineered Nanny States in the European Union are better served then we are in Canada by the scum sucking brand of conservative capitalism? Or could it really be true that the secret agenda of the 'Harper Government' is really true, in that it has every intention of reducing Canada to a third world country. Taking out the mail system is a good start down this path.

All this is about Dear Reader, is that the scum in the Bund at the Prime Ministers Office knows that it is all in and done as far as a three peat goes. So they are taking the last cheap shots at you and I while they still can. If you watch the Canada Post Prime Minister Office approved propaganda you will soon figure it all out for your self that it is all a lie. What government body and or entity releases a video on social media and will not allow comments or ratings? They of course did that to show how much they truly care about you and your feedback! Right??

At the last session of Question Period yesterday, the scum of the 'Harper Government' cabinet in the form of Tony 'Two Tier' Clement and 'Pizza' Paul Calandra went on about how they are guarding your tax dollars, only to vote themselves an extended Christmas break, of about over six weeks! Yeah I know, you just can't make this stuff up....

Microsoft - The Pengiun Eats The Butterfly?

I am a plain practical man, not one of your theorists and splitters of hairs and choppers of logic.
Sir James George Frazer, The Golden Bough, p. 69

At the time of this writing it is less then 137 days to the demise of Windows XP Pro. Probably one of the best operating systems that Microsoft has ever built, next to DOS of course. The Oracle of Ottawa has been a fervent user of Microsoft operating systems over many years, all the way back to the DOS era. My present box is in perfect running order, but, to upgrade to the same level as Windows XP Pro, the Oracle will have to shell out over $250.00 for Windows 8.1 Pro! Which is pretty stupid, considering that the computer that I am now  using only cost me $149.99 out the door!

Time to move to Linux!

The Oracle of Ottawa has given up a lot of corporate stuff lately. A corporate pay check, corporate fast food, and now the Oracle of Ottawa is going to give up corporate software. Although all the press and MS marketing states that support for Windows XP will end sometime in April of 2014, the Oracle of Ottawa has noticed that for all intents and purposes they have all ready stopped supporting it at the time of this writing, just to aid the big pre-Christmas marketing rush. The Oracle is not amused. And he is simply not going to take it any more.

As far back as 2006 Microsoft was once the third largest corporation on Earth measured by market capitalization. Now fast forward to 2013, and you will discover that Microsoft is now the seventh largest corporation on Earth by market cap. And to add insult to injury, or rather to increase the contrast of the writing on the wall, Apple is number one! Not even the Oracle of Ottawa had the balls to call that minor upset.

The Oracle of Ottawa has had another life altering revelation lately, and that is that an operating system in this day and age is just too important a thing to leave in the hands of corporate whores out in Redmond, Washington. All the stuff that the Oracle owns that has software to operate, and that works really well, sure as hell is not made by Microsoft. It is all Linux and / or embedded Linux. I mean really, if Google is not using Microsoft, why the hell should you Dear Reader?

The Oracle of Ottawa is just fed up with the so called Microsoft experience, the overpriced registered drudgery of it all. It is an industry and an era that has had its time and is now past. A lot like buggy whips. Other concerns have started entering the Oracles mind also, the major one being my security. The next operating system that the Oracle runs will not be the product of an American corporate whore in the employ of the New World Order and the Department of Homeland Security! Yes the Oracle has decided to bring Linux to his Desktop. And one that originates in Europe, not the United States.

The Oracle  of Ottawa has been toying with the idea for a while now. He has done his due diligence and actually researched Linux on You Tube which was powerfully helpful. But what really shifted the Oracle of Ottawa was catching the philosophy of Linus Torvalds in his many talks that just happened to posted on You Tube. The Oracle of Ottawa was simply blown away by the mans candor and left leaning ideology. Bill Gates can't hold a candle to him as a mental force or as a man... The Oracle of Ottawa will be running some flavor of Linux way before April 2014.

Milos Raonic Loves Canada?

The most painful moments are not those we spend with uninteresting people; rather, they are those spent with uninteresting people trying hard to be interesting. 
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p. 11

It was a Friday night in the August just passed that the Oracle of Ottawa was really looking forward to watching the Oakland Athletics at the Toronto Blue Jays in Rogers Centre. It would no doubt be very nearly sold out, that is over 40,000 people were going to be there to see the awesome low dollar team of Money Ball. (Not to mention the millions of Canadians from coast to coast that would be watching on television...) Immortalized by the great writer Micheal Lewis. The Montreal Cup tennis crap was also happening at the same time, but the Oracle of Ottawa was confident that with his cable package from Rogers Communications which has 5 Sportsnet channels, that surely they would step down and allow the baseball to be shown. Especially since Rogers Communications owns the Toronto Blue Jays!

Milos Raonic - Canadian or tax dodging fraud?

 But Dear Reader it was not to be. It was tennis on every channel, the same crap on all five channels at the same time. The Oracle of Ottawa was livid. A call was placed to Rogers and after about 15 minutes, the Oracle of Ottawa was told by something with a thick East Indian accent that "Sir, you cannot complain"!! I then asked for a number at head office with someone in programming and / or content and again the Oracle of Ottawa was told; "I am so sorry Sir, you can't complain". You can't make crap like this up. And for anyone reading this from Canada, that has Rogers for cable knows the Oracle is telling the truth.

 Canada has never been, is not now, and will never be in the future a tennis superpower. Tennis is for the 1% of the New World Order. As a rule of thumb, any sport that can be watched from a "verandah" is pretty much a wipe out in Canada. That also explains why we suck as a nation at golf, cricket and tennis. But why would Rogers cut the nose off their face and lose all that advertising revenue from MLB? Tennis is not a spectator sport. If it was, the Center Court at Wimbleton would have more than 11,000 seats wouldn't it?
And that endless flogging of this character Milos Raonic, that claims to be a Canadian, but speaks English like a country club gigolo. What is up with this insanity? The Oracle of Ottawa has decided to investigate.    

Brett Lawrie - A real Canadian sports Star!!

  The Oracle of Ottawa was just floored at all the neat stuff that he has found out. The Oracle of Ottawa has provided a link to the information. First, Milos Roanic is not a native born Canadian. (He is the spawn of economic migrants.) He was not even born in Canada, he was born in Titograd, Montenegro, formally Yugoslavia! Of which you can be sure he has a passport to. Yet Rogers sells him to us as a "real Canadian". To the Oracle of Ottawa, a real Canadian sports star at present is Brett Lawrie, who was actually born in Canada and lives in Canada as much as he can, no matter how much money he makes. 

 Second: Milos Roanic seems only to live in Canada when Rogers ponys up the money for him to pass himself off as a "Real Canadian". Otherwise he stays at his present home in Monaco! Which is a pimple of a tax haven on the arse of France.  Can you believe this avarice? How come Rogers does not tell that to the Canadian people in the endless Raonic ads? Why doesn't Rogers tell the truth and admit that Milos Raonic is simply a Canadian of convenience?

Third: Milos Roanic's siblings really do believe in Canada. That is why they have left it to return to their "home" country. 

Fourth: Mols Roanic has a hard serve! That is like a young baseball pitcher that can throw a one hundred mile an hour fast ball. Both are essentially useless, if you cannot control them.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, .....

Fifth: Milos Raonic has earned $3,006,227 in prize money since turning pro in 2008. The Oracle of Ottawa can only say that it all has hardly been worth all the trouble, perhaps Milos should have tried baseball as a kid...

'Harper Government' - A Verizon Of Choice

Perhaps the most obvious feature of the use of symbols to represent things, events, or processes is the economy of representation. 
Marx W. Wartofsky, Conceptual Foundations Of Scientific Thought, p.37

You know it is a terrible idea when the beached whales (i.e. James Moore) of the dying 'Harper Government' are dumping their latest right wing Bilderberg Group ordered directive in the deepest dog days of summer on hapless Canadians. Now the brainwave is that the way to get cheaper cellphone rates in Canada is to invite Verizon, the Wall-Mart of communication companies, into Canada and in turn destroy the whole industry. I guess the punks in short pants at the Prime Ministers Office thought this this would be a great idea.

'Harper Government' gets the call...

But the Oracle of Ottawa has to admit it is just music to his ears to hear the scum at Rogers, Bell and Telus  complain for a change! Recently when the Oracle of Ottawa called Rogers to bitch about the lack of Major League Baseball, he was told that he couldn't complain! Oh the Oracle got to complain all right, and it is a terrible thing to make a temporary foreign worker cry.

Of course if Verizon is allowed into Canada there will be thousands of lost Canadian jobs. As a matter of fact the Oracle of Ottawa is quite surprised that no one has figured out the real reason that wee Jimmy Moore is rolling out the Red and White carpet to Verizon. The Oracle of Ottawa has it on good authority that it is really about the creation of that new labour union that is going to called UNIFOR, which is going to take place on this coming Labour Day. The Oracle of Ottawa is really going to enjoy it when the NDP start pumping this rude fact out to the Canadian public during the fall sitting of the House.

 And it is all really just another sign of the failed ideology of the 'Harper Government'. By failing to do their job and stepping in to protect the Canadian consumer as it is the job of a real government to do, they are now in desperation, going to contract out their responsibilities to Verizon, with hopefully a cell phone price war just in time for the next Federal Election.

Has The 'Harper Government' Been HAARPed?

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven,...
Revelation, 12:10, NRSV

The Oracle of Ottawa knew it was going to happen. Just the "dirty tricks" of the 'Harper Government' in Ottawa over the last seven years was enough to bring down judgement. But when the likes of Preston Manning was mouthing off about how Canada was going all right wing, and the "fact" that the center of Canada was now in Calgary! The Oracle tried to warn them. Certain powers that be will only take so much sass and then they will drop the boom, and it will be forever. 

HAARP antenna element....

The damage in Calgary is permanent, in the near future it will revert to its original purpose, an outpost of central Canada. The head offices will be departing shortly to Toronto where they belong. This will all start in quiet earnestness when it is realized that the huge towers downtown are built on clay and that there is no way to right them once they start to tilt, so to speak. If the Calgary Saddle Dome is more than a few millimeters off of level it will have to be condemned. And even the most optimistic nutter can see that there may well be a Stampede, but it sure as hell is not going to be in Calgary this year!

There were many more events that led to the signing of the executive order by the President of The United States to unleash HAARP. It was of course a last resort, but you can be assured that the first words of the present American Ambassador to Canada in his next conversation with the present Foreign Affairs Minister will no doubt be; "Can you hear me now?" Some of the acts that the Oracle of Ottawa can relate are few, but I will share some of the most irritating to our American friends.

First there was that dangerous and unsavory side relationship with China, and the disregard of American warnings about what they were really up to. Then there was that unsavory and quite dangerous relationship of the whole 'Harper Government' with that certain micro-state out of the Middle East. And did the 'Harper Government' really think that they were going to keep Operation Noahs Ark secret from the Yanks? Now, after executive action,  Alberta will no longer very attractive to anybody, even a micro - state from the Middle East.

But you have to hand it to the Yanks and their sense of humor. On the same weekend as the Tory Policy Convention! Ho! Ho! That pig drowned in the tunnel. Soon there will be reports of the weird colors seen in the sky just days before the soggy event, the same that was observed in Pakistan when they were caught out dissing the Americans... But alas, that is another post, for another day...

Ditching Java - All Java Software

When information is cheap, attention becomes expensive.
James Gleick, The Information, p. 410

It all came to a head earlier this week. The Firefox browser was loading slower than a sloth crossing a freeway. But the real indication that something was very wrong was when the You-Tube videos would not not start playing right away. Or even worse, would suddenly stop at random for no good reason at all. Some thing was surely amiss. Ironically, the Oracle of Ottawa had been recently warned that all Java products were being strongly suspected of being "compromised", and that it would probably be a good idea to disable and rip everything out that had the name Java attached to it.

Bye - bye Duke!

Sure enough this proved to be excellent advice. It was discovered by the Oracle of Ottawa, using the jim dandy Process Explorer tool, what was exactly going on in my box while I was trying to get a You Tube video to go off at command. Every time the start button was pressed on the video player, a little war of processes started, culminating with the Microsoft Security Essentials going nuts trying to suppress something that started after the Java quick launcher was observed firing up repeatedly! 

Well that was all the evidence that the Oracle of Ottawa required. First all the Java add-ons of the Firefox browser (Version 21.0) were disabled. (Tools - Add - Ons)  Then the Oracle of Ottawa removed the latest version of Java that from habit he always kept up to date. Now it will take 24 - 48 hours for the system to completely settle after you do all this, but you will notice an improvement right away. Also if you know how, strip out all the now dead registry entries with the proper scan.

What ever the hell happened to cause this once great piece of software turn into a product that even Homeland Security will not allow on its browsers anywhere? A little digging will inform you quickly that Oracle Corporation is not the employee friendly place that it once was. There seems to be a lot of firing of Americans and no doubt Canadians, that are being replaced by hordes of temporary foreign workers from China! You can't make this stuff up. Ever since this trend has been taking hold, it seems that the platform became some one else's platform, if you follow the Oracles drift.

Every thing works awesome well now. My browser opens over 60% percent faster, and the You Tube is being enjoyed as before, before this spy platform of malware so rudely intruded upon the Oracles domain. Don't be shy, just rip it all out....   

Canada Day 2013 Boycott

A picture contains the possibility of the situation that it represents.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus, 2.203

The Oracle of Ottawa feels compelled to provide the important public service of warning away anyone that is contemplating coming to Ottawa, Canada for Canada Day 2013. In years distant past, Canada Day was the one premier event of the Ottawa social summer season. It was then run by the National Capital Commission. It was one of their major events, and they usually put the whole year before hand into it. It was also the time of the Canadian Just Society, security and propaganda of all kinds were kept to the bear minimum.  

Welcome to Harperland 2013!!

Now the Oracle of Ottawa feels it is his duty to warn the public that there will be several very important changes in Canada Day 2013. The major change is that it is now being run by the Department of Canadian Heritage, or in plain English, by a big disgusting fat pig by the name of James Moore, presently the Minister of Canadian Heritage. Yes Dear Reader, Canada Day has been commandeered by the 'Harper Government' for the soul purpose of celebrating the accomplishments of the Fascist State. With many demonstrations of the 'Harper Government' and free market capitalism. There is a rumor that the finale is going to contain a 3-D hologram show of Maggie Thatcher, in respectful memory, just before the fireworks, can hardly wait can ya?  

Somehow the eternally cheap 'Harper Government' has somehow coughed up the money for the possible appearance of  Carly Rae Jepson. Whoever she is? And didn't she do Canada Day in 2010? Anyway there is also a very long list of other garbage you never heard of before. There simply is no one on the A list that wants to be anywhere near the 'Harper Government' in any respect. And of course since this is a 'Harper Government' project there must be the sickening appearances of "victims". James Moore went all out on this one, no doubt at the behest of the Prime Ministers Office, and has arranged for the eternally sickening Chris Hadfield to conduct a few experiments for the kiddies, and the second rate playing of his space cadet song. And to make it all an absolute barf fest, the show is going to be hosted by Helene Campbell, of Barfhaven!   

Sweet Jesus Sweetheart! The lungs were free. This Canada Day you should be out a nice cottage somewhere on the Quebec side sitting on some young lads face for at least the whole of Canada Day, now that you got the wind for it and all. And perhaps you should see how long you can hold your breath with a somewhat constricted throat. In other words you should be out enjoying your life, since even Senator Mike Duffy has more talent than you.

For all you "out of towners" the Oracle of Ottawa must share a few tips of warning. Such as; there is no more free parking anywhere in downtown Ottawa. The City has been ordered by the 'Harper Government' to implement Demand Price parking. And of course on Canada day there is a lot of demand for parking, you are on your own. Also be very careful what you bring and what you are carrying on your person. The person on your left and on your right is going to be either a cop or a corporate security guard. There will be many opportunities for you discover all the wonders of the Canada (In)Action Plan. The koisks are going to be less than 100 feet apart on Wellington, Bank and the Sparks Street Mall. Come to Ottawa and party with the crooks and skidmarks of the 'Harper Government'. Enjoy!!

Blue Jays - 2013 Home Opener

Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.
Proverbs, 27:17, NRSV

Past performance is no guarantee of future results. All investors know that the worst stock picks one can make is the stock that was hot last year in the hope and / or belief that they will certainly be hot in the coming next few years. It is hard to believe that Alex Anthopoulos didn't read Moneyball by Michael Lewis ! Perhaps he should have compromised and went out to see the movie during the last off season! Moneyball was the story of the the Oakland Athletics, with a payroll of under 40 million, went on to compete and utterly kick ass against teams like the New York Yankees who had a payroll at the time of 125 million! But this is the kind of crap that is going to happen when the general manager is equipped with an arts degree...

Alex - Last season?

The Moneyball method is a lot like the Warren Buffet method of picking stocks. Or what the old school of investors calls "value investing". Trying to buy the next World Series using the New York Yankee method of more money than brains does not always work, especially in the new and present world of Major League Baseball. But at least Alex filled all the seats of Sky Dome once this season.

One could tell that the spin doctors and marketers were given full and total run of the event. Some things the Oracle of Ottawa liked, and a lot of things the Oracle of Ottawa did not like at all. The Canadian flag display that covered the whole outfield was pretty impressive and looked great on an HD flat screen. But the absence of the French verses of of Oh Canada were a total fail. Surely there is one singer available in Toronto that is familiar with Canada's both official languages. The absence of John Farrell grieved the Oracle of Ottawa very deeply. And that replacement! Were the hell did the Blue Jays get this guy? At the old rummy baseball sweat flea market held in the off season in the Dominican Republic? From total class to no class in one iteration, so to speak. But John was better looking than Alex, and you just can't have that can you?

The Oracle of Ottawa also has to comment that the new team song totally sucks! And that band? Never heard of them and will probably be soon forgotten. It appears to the Oracle of Ottawa that the Blue Jays organization put out the honor of the position to the bidding recording companies. And the no-name band managed to cough up the highest amount of (wasted) loot. It may have been good marketing, but the band still sucks.

Another high lite of the evening was the choice of Geddy Lee to toss out the first pitch of the game. (By Tor and the Throw Dog?) And he was serious. He was in top form, that sinker was no stinker! He had a way better night than R. A. Dickey! The final good high light of the night was the return of the great Greg Zaun. The Oracle of Ottawa likes Greg Zaun. But give him back his elegant lapel microphone please! That fruitty face boom mike made the Oracle of Ottawa think that he was suffering a flashback to a Madonna concert. And if possible start working Greg Zaun into the role of play by play when possible, it would be like Vin Scully, on LSD...

Toronto Pandas Arrive - Chinese Conquest Complete

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
SunTzu, The Art Of  War, Chapter 3

Can you think of any better symbol of China than the Panda? A fat, dozy, stunned, stupid animal, that has long since past it's evolutionary best before date tens of thousands of years ago. An animal that can't really be removed from its original environment without it dropping dead. At first glance, it appears sooo cute, but once you do it and get over it, you realize that under the fur it is just like all china men, a barbaric peasant.

How the hell is this 'cute'??

 And you know when the Chinese Peasants Republic grant you the dubious honor of being allowed to babysit a pair of these worthless animals, they all but have you up the ass, and that you are essentially a Chinese vassal state. That seems to be just fine with the useless 'Harper Government'. There was the chromed domed useless eminence, in the person of Steve Harper there to greet these sluggish slut bears in person! What a joke! Meanwhile last summer, he couldn't show up at the airport in Ottawa to greet Angella Merkel, the President of Germany! Who the Oracle of Ottawa would rather do business with any day before wasting my time with Chinese peasants. Not hating, just saying...

And did you get a load of that peasant Chinese ambassador to Canada! What a vulgar lowlife piece of shit! Millions of dollars are being spent to have this useless lowlife shit in my once nice clean country. And the 'Harper Government' actually spent the last couple of years all but begging for the dubious honor of hosting the Chinese peasant slug bears. Just let the damn things go extinct and get it all over with.

Of course in return we should give the Chinese a similar gift shouldn't we? The Oracle of Ottawa was thinking three pairs of breeding Canadian Beavers! The Chinese could just leave them any where back in the woods most anywhere in China, and they will soon have a beaver for every zoo in China and the rest of Asia! Do you see the esential difference between Canada and China? Panda bear - beaver, got it? In the interest of economy, two doses of 9cc's of Smith and Wesson should be applied to each Panda and then reduce the carcass' to a rug and then return them to China to save on the shipping....

Canadian Aviation and Space Museum Does Darth Vader?

Whosoever is found variable and changeth manifestly without manifest cause, giveth suspicion of corruption.
Sir Francis Bacon, Essays,  Essay XI, Of Great Place

The Oracle of Ottawa just never knows what the news of the local vulgar media late night news will bring next. The Oracle of Ottawa was shocked and appalled to learn that our National  Canadian Aviation and Space Museum is going to be hosting a Star Wars Exhibition! It is like having a flower and lawn show at the Canadian National Military Cemetery!  Now Star Wars has it place of course, at comic book shows and Star Wars Conventions, but it has no business at the National Air Museum of Canada. Do you think that such a thing could happen at the American National Air And Space Museum?

Selling out to Hollywood...

 The Oracle has no doubt put this down to the 'Harper Government' policy that a Museum should be run as a profit generating business. Why the Oracle is pretty sure that you will no doubt be able to get a Jedhi helmet with your name on it just like when you go to Disneyland and get your own personalized Mickey Mouse hat! As far as all that old Canadian shit, who really wants to see that? Who even knows today what the Arrow was, and the scum, gutless Conservative Government of the time that killed it, and destroyed Canada's place and chance at being an aerospace superpower... Star Wars just has so much more jerk off factor, don't it?

Darth Vader or a punk from the PMO?

It is all so depressing to see the cheapening of our national institutions by the western scum Conservatives. And the pathetic rube of the present curator, one Denise Amyot, who in no way looks like a national museum curator, but rather another low life Conservative Party of Canada appointee. If she has or ever had any pride or decency she would submit her resignation forthwith. As far as the Oracle of Ottawa is concerned, and as a veteran, he will be giving it a very large exclusion and I would heartily recommend that you do the same. 

Let us all get down and grovel in the American cultural filth...

The Three Hardest HR Questions

When human beings have finished, they are just beginning,
and when they stop, they are still perplexed.
Sirach, 18:7

The Oracle of Ottawa strongly believes that there are three professions that have no place in a modern Western Democracy. Marketers, spin doctors and human resources tools. They not only don't deserve to eat, they don't even deserve to be loved or respected in the least by anybody. And all the "good" practitioners live solitary, lonely lives from hell. Even afraid to go out in public, lest they run into someone that they have successfully fucked over in the past. And believe the Oracle of of Ottawa, some of them have a lot to fear from a lot of people. Whatever you do parents, keep your kids out of these low life professions!

Human Resources...

 Once upon a time, there was no such thing as "human resources"! It was called the personnel department. They picked the people to do the jobs. It was all so straight ahead, once upon a time...Today, just to get a crummy job, you have to jump through many hoops. It is not unusual to go through six or more interviews. And the HR thingies just seem to love asking impossible to answer questions. And you are right, they have nothing to do with finding the right person, but rather, as you have always suspected, they just love the sadistic pleasure of seeing you squirm!   

The Oracle of Ottawa has chosen the three hardest ones. With a near perfect answer. The Oracle of Ottawa, being generous to a fault, he will share his wisdom with you, in the hope that you will see the scum HR thingy squirm for you!

 Question: Tell me a little about yourself?
 Answer: I didn't provide a detailed and truthful resume for nothing. You have no doubt completed an internet search, credit check, drug test, criminal check, and the hours of detailed psych testing that I agreed to complete. You no doubt, at present, know more about me than I do! I was hoping that you could tell me something about myself...

Question: What do you think of when you are driving?
Answer: Getting there.

Question: Tell me about a time you failed?
Answer: All of life is winning a few and losing a lot. With every failure there emerges a hard learned new valuable piece of  knowledge that I lever into my life algorithm, which has resulted to the present level of my success...

 Scum like this, has no place in our society. Do not even try to appease them, slam them hard, and watch them squirm!! Remember; they can't run the organizations they pretend to serve by themselves.

CBC Dragon's Den - How To Suck Satan's Cock

What is now proved was once, only imagin'd.
William Blake, The Marriage Of heaven And Hell, Line 33

While watching The Royal Canadian Air Farce New Years Eve Special, the Oracle of Ottawa heard a comment in a skit, that, to the Oracle of Ottawa, was possibly a very good sign of a coming very good year indeed. The comment was made by the Great Canadian Mary Walsh, in the Newfoundland mother and son sketch. It was a great shot against the ever greasy Kevin O'Leary, and how he was killing the CBC, or some such words to that effect. Why the Oracle of Ottawa damn near choked on his double rum toddy!

Suck Satan's cock....

  Now all the frequent flyers of this blog already know that the Oracle of Ottawa is not, nor has he ever been a fan of such shining media black lights. But the show that Kevin O'Leary makes the most obnoxious is the spot he plays on Dragon's Den! Is there really an audience of Canadians that get off on this? Is this the traditional Canadian pass time, to watch gullible people getting crushed by a bunch of zeros? The Oracle of Ottawa knows there is no hockey, but really? Is this now the Canadian way? The Oracle of Ottawa realizes that all that young Canadians have to look forward to is less, but holy shit, where is the bottom of the corporate whore hole, really?

The Oracle of Ottawa did just a little digging and discovered that Dragon's Den is a Japanese franchise show, property of Sony Corporation! Now the Oracle of Ottawa understands most everything. And especially how the likes of Kevin O'Leary could possibly find something that he could look, at moments, like a genius. The whole format of bowing and ass kissing is totally understandable coming from Japan! The country of the mediocre "company man". Any real problems come up, just kick the can down the road, you know, the way they handled the melt down of their corporate nuclear reactors. The Oracle of Ottawa is sure that will be a shinning example of management acumen in business schools all over the planet Earth! Won't it?

And the Oracle of Ottawa still believes that Canadian entre-pren - whores are of a totally different class than your average bowing and ass kissing ricer! The Oracle of Ottawa has known a few entre-pren-whores in his time. And the Oracle of Ottawa has even been told the secret of entre-pren-whore ship! Always finance your own deals! You never give away equity in your business to anybody! And over the years, the Oracle of Ottawa has learned that entre-pren-whores are like cops and undertakers. You would never invite them to your house or ever be seen in their company. But a good society needs cops and undertakers just as much as we need to suffer the insanity and other mental kinks of entre-pre-whores. It is all pretty weird, but society and the world is really just a big balancing act at the end of the day.

The Oracle of Ottawa often wonders what the outcome of the world would have been if, say, Henry Ford or John D. Rockefellor had to go hat in hand to the likes of Kevin O'Leary and the other dirt bags of the Canadian Dragon's Den for start up capital of their visionary dreams?  What would the world be like today? Yeah, your right, we would all still be walking...

 The great comedian Bill Hicks explains the sucking of Satan's cock....

City of Ottawa - Chop Stick Lackeys?

Something that is merely negative creates nothing.
Karl Marx, Grundrisse, p. 532

Well we can all check off another one the secret agreements that the 'Harper Government' made with the Peoples Republic of China concerning the CNOOC - NEXEN deal, can't we? That entails all the harvesting of all our finest tech talent to the buck toothed Chinese peasants. Why I saw it on the vulgar media with my own eyes no less!

Which way to the tech incubator?

There it was on the six o'clock CBC supper news, the pretty show boy from the central casting of the Bejing Politburo announcing a crummy ten million dollars to be invested in Kanata, now only a mere shadow of itself, due to its successful rape of the corporate over - whores, for a mind robbing high tech "incubator", which in the United States would be called a intellectual property theft and spy center! Many Ottawa burg(h)ers were on hand, some of them all smiles, only that they are too ignorant to know any better, or else too well greased in their 15 random digit accounts in some offshore shit hole, that of course will never materialize at the end of the day.

But the Oracle of Ottawa was shocked, simply shocked, at how subdued the august mayor Gentleman Jim looked throughout the whole process that the CBC crew captured for my supper viewing enjoyment. He in no way looked at all in charge. And the Oracle of Ottawa wondered just how low would the City of Ottawa go for some buck toothed Asian peasant that could claim to wave a few paltry million dollars under their respective noses?

Why would any one with a truly good idea give up on iota of ownership to a buck toothed peasant from China? Why would any one in their right mind that was truly informed even want to do business in China, which is essentially a social ticking time bomb waiting to unfold? Then it dawned on the Oracle of Ottawa, it was not a decision that was made in Ottawa, well certainly not at Ottawa city hall anyway. It was a decision that was made in Bejing, from a deal cut by the 'Harper Government' somewhere in the wilds of Russia, that was greatly sped up when the buck toothed peasants flashed the pictures and the tapes. There will be many more such "investments". And you better be able to speak mandiran if you are hoping for a piss cleaning job at the new down town Ottawa casino! Yes of course you stupid rube! There will be no jobs for locals. With a foreign soul sourced contract, everything from the piss wipers to the whores will be imported, indentured slave labour from China, just like the first wave of "coal miners" out at Tumbler Ridge, British Columbia!    

If all this wasn't bad enough, we stakeholders, were informed and treated to another gift of some stupid sound stage that is being proposed for the City of Ottawa! Who in the hell wants that shit here? Oy vey...If you want to go into media; piss off to Hollywood! That is not a business that is suitable for the fine up standing people of Ottawa! We are meant for higher things of a more cerebral nature. Members of the Civil Service that runs Canada in all fact and reality. That is our traditional role, and will be again...In the mean time keep your ideas dry and most importantly to yourself!

Find the chatter of your new masters irritating? You voted for it and now you got it! So pucker that bung hole and bend over you stupid gajin skidmark! Welcome in the New World Order!!

The Symbolism of Kellie 'Sparky' Leitch

We take cunning for a sinister or crooked wisdom. 
Sir Francis Bacon, Essays, Essay XXII, Of Cunning

The Oracle of Ottawa can say with much certainty that if you live in one of the great government towns of the world like Ottawa, Washington, London, Paris or even Moscow, you soon learn that human beings at a certain level can come with an unbelievable amount of twists, kinks and other many other "issues" various.

Hmmmm....

 The Oracle of Ottawa has been watching the antics of one Kellie 'Sparky' Leitch for the duration of this Parliament and the same question still pops into the Oracle's head: What the fuck is this woman(?) trying to prove? And for the life of me, knowing what a member of parliament earns, why is she wearing the clothes of all her old boyfriends? I mean really, what is up with that? And when the bona fides about this little actor in the link provided, you soon become even more mystified. i.e. Why isn't she the Health Minister?

At the time of this writing, there are over 850,000 Canadians without a job. But as you have discovered, old 'Sparky' not only has just one job, but three jobs! She is  member of Parliament, an Orthopaedic paediatric surgeon and for good measure an assistant Professor. Which reminds the Oracle of Ottawa of a joke going around Ottawa at the present; What is the difference between a member of Parliament and an Orthopaedic paediatric surgeon? Answer: About $250,000 a year...   

Knowing all these facts, it is just great entertainment when 'Sparky's' little helper, one Pierre 'Little Polly' Poilievre starts going on about the "big union bosses", while just about beside him sits 'Sparky', who of course, as the irony of life would have it, is a member of the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada! Now folks if there is one Cadillac union in Canada, the RCPSC is it! And if you are ever in Ottawa, you simply just have to see the "union hall"! It has to be the poshest one in Canada. Why 'Sparky's' union is so powerful it will probably get a bye when the union transparency act is passed. Wanna' bet?   

Here is a bit of another member of the healing profession; Hedy Fry quizzing 'Sparky' about the recent tainted meat fiasco, the answer provided should make all doctors in Canada proud. This would be a howler clip to run at the next RCPSC dinner, no?

Wee Jimmy Blows Up

An economy is an entity consisting of groups with conflicting interests held together by rules of the game.
Joan Robinson, The Accumulation Of Capital, p. 16

It is deep into another sleepless night, and the Wee Finance Minister reaches for the warmest cold fry that is left. Under the pile of fast food wrappers he searches for some more medicine, but alas it is all gone. Talk about running out of runway! Soon he must face the rabid pack of jackals in the House of Commons. Wee Jimmy wonders what has gone wrong. Every thing is in place. There is a strong majority Conservative government from coast to coast to coast. Yet the economy lags. The numbers are nowhere near being ever met.

Atlas? Let the bastard shrug...

 All the methods of the right wing guru's are in place. The "Big Lie" propaganda ads and TV spots run 24/7 leading to feel good but dead end websites... Yet, the more these policies are implemented, the worse the economy gets. Wee Jimmy has done everything right. Yet when he speaks to the vulgar media when the Toronto stock exchange is open it starts to plummet as soon as he opens his mouth. The blarney has abandoned him completely and utterly. It is hard for a man of Wee Jimmy's age and political ideological bent to admit that everything he has believed in all his life is in reality nothing but a lie.

The Wee Jimmy cant understand it. He has fired most all of the fat cat civil servants in Ottawa, and is stunned when the Alberta contractors tell him that they will not do their old jobs for the minimum wage offered by the new (temporary) contractors! Why that is just about subversive. The grounds have been cleared of red tape, and according to the objectivist theory, wild entre - pen - whore capitalism should be breaking out all over the place by now. But, alas, the field remains empty. No one has stepped forward. John Galt can't seem to be lured out of hiding or retirement.

And then there are those three by-elections that are to held at the end of November. If these three seats are lost, the strong majority government could be in real trouble. What with the back benchers in near open revolt about all the innocent babies, anything could happen if the ratios get real close. The Wee Jimmy realizes that he is in for another sleepless night. Then the realization that the 'Harper Governments' little helpers in the United States have gotten there little micro-dicks handed to them yet again on a platter, another hit to the brilliant utterly inescapable logic of Ayn Rand. Wee Jimmy feels the walls come closer to him from all directions at once. 

 It is just about dawn now, and the Wee Jimmy realizes that he has to try and get some sleep. He closes the window and pulls out the first edition copy of Atlas Shrugged with dust jacket, that has been holding the window open and throws it to the floor into the mess of fast food wrappers. There is the sound of breaking glass...      

Stick to the speaking points - you are not smart enough to go solo on your own! It the China mans fault, they aren't buying from us. It is the Americans fault, because they aren't buying from the China men. It is the European Unions fault because they borrowed money to buy too much stuff from the China men!! Of course Canada is perfect and with out fault. And all we have to do is cut services until no one can afford to buy anything from any one!

The Gutting of TV Ontario

Whatever is the cause of taxes to a nation, becomes also the means of revenue to a government.
Thomas Paine, Rights Of Man,  p. 165

It was with great shock that the Oracle of Ottawa learned from his CBC supper hour news that the gutting of TV Ontario has commenced. The Oracle of Ottawa finds it riddling strange that the three most popular programs are to axed! The three shows are: Saturday Night At The Movies, Big Ideas, and Allan Gregg In Conversation! Why those are the only shows that the Oracle of Ottawa never misses! What the hell is going on here?

Save TV Ontario!!

The brass at TVO are out to save a crummy two million bucks. Didn't they raise more than that on last years membership drives? Haven't they just shut down 114 old analog transmitters? Why the scrap value there is worth over two million dollars. And do you think that TV Ontario was renting the land for all these transmitters? Hell no! So there is another twenty million at least! And how much was received in bequests and wills in the last ten years? Hmmm, do you dear reader smell a rat? Let the Oracle of Ottawa explain....

It appears to the Oracle of Ottawa that all the cut shows are the favorites of those of left political leanings. What is at work here? Have the corporate over-whores forced their hand through the marketing department or was it through the Prime Ministers Office? Yes sir, it certainly sounds and looks like the F9 monkeys in beanie hats and short pants are at it again.

The greatest brand that TV Ontario has is the interview archive that was assembled by Elwy Yost over his lifetime career at TVO! One hundred years from now people will still be watching those interviews! How much budget does it cost to run stuff you already own? Not much. Not even Hollywood has anything to match it! Yes Saturday Night at The Movies has to go! Cinema is the opiate of the political left, isn't it?
And that show called Big Ideas certainly has to go! We can't have people like Northrop Frye , Noam Chomsky, and Chris Hedges telling the masses the utter and absolute truth can we? It really clashes with the talking points, propaganda and Agenda of a certain middle eastern ethnic group that at present has an insane hold on the Prime Ministers Office. Is The Oracle of Ottawa right or is he right? And heh! Right after Big Ideas the Oracle of Ottawa always gives Allan Gregg his eyeballs most every Saturday night. These three shows are the Saturday nights of countless Ontarians! And have been for decades....

Fire and cut this piece of ____!!!

But the Oracle of Ottawa will not just bitch into the cloud. The Oracle of Ottawa is constructive and has thought of a much better solution of cuts totaling three shows presently on TV Ontario. First cut Mere Cat Manor. Then cut that sickening Time Team, that phony reality show crap trying to be connected to the science and art of archeology! God! The Oracle of Ottawa hates that limey low life bastard that hosts that show... Now for the real money saver! Why just cutting this one show will no doubt save TV Ontario more than two million dollars. Her goes.. Fire that piece of shit, closet neo-con, conservative Steve Paikin! And cancel his bullshit posing show called the Agenda!  Public television is no place for "flagship" current affairs, that is the job of the mainline media outlets such as the "state broadcaster", the good old CBC!

So, with the absence of the Agenda, the blogs, the pretentious set and the bullshit guests, that somehow strangely seem to be mostly from one small micro-state in the middle east, TVO should have saved more than two million dollars a year. Then to fill in the time bring me something with real class and substance like Charlie Rose or the old style couch and interview show that we all enjoyed before the Agenda! Now the Oracle of Ottawa is not a vindictive blogger. Steve Paikin should receive a generous severance package and a presentation shot gun set, with matching shower stall, he will know what to do with it, won't he?

    
Cut this piece of ____ propagandist and his right wing entourage and save TV Ontario!!!

Ditching Avast!

There seems to be something in humanity which will not bow meekly to the insolence of power.
Terry Eagleton, Why Marx Was Right, p. 100

The Oracle of Ottawa just doesn't understand it. It all started out so well. He was a big Avast! fan. It worked so well back then, so well, that the Oracle of Ottawa paid for the professional version. Then there was that very shaky release of the last most recent version. But it all went really to hell at renewal time. Two months before my subscription expired, the Avast! program was really starting to pester me to renew. So, being really busy at the time, I thought I would renew promptly and be done with it. So I purchased another year, and then I would have 14 months until the sucker started up again. Well no, the bastards ripped me off for two months! So the yearly subscription was in actuality a 10 month subscription!

Microsoft - Like Chevrolet - Like a Rock...

 The Oracle of Ottawa was not amused, and neither should you be! There is a very good and free solution. Never, ever pay for anti-virus  protection for a computer. There are many solutions, and the Oracle of Ottawa did a little asking around to people who know a lot about such things and they recommended Microsoft Security Essentials, which they swear by and is to be had for the best price - FREE -, like air and beer! The Oracle of Ottawa immediately "signed up" and became a user of the latest release. And sure enough, it is what the Oracle of Ottawa considers a masterpiece of real "old school" software. Very small in size, does not use up a ton of CPU, and very little overhead of your available RAM. Microsoft must be becoming soft in their old age, but they are still sharp as hell. To use the MSE you must have a valid copy of a Microsoft operating system on your computer!

Well, no problem with the Oracle of Ottawa! Windows XP Professional forever! Been a user right from the start, and the Oracle of Ottawa hopes that MS will reconsider the present decision about the end date. Xp was probably the greatest software engineering next to DOS! And by the way, if you really like MSE you might also want to try Process Explorer, it has the good price also - FREE - and you will learn a ton about what is going on in your box. And it will help you to identify problems, why like Avast!, and other things that can bring your online experience down.... If you are youngster it is also a very good introduction into how complex and important a well designed and supported operating system really is.  

Isn't that pretty? Or what....      

'Harper Government' - Playing President

After all, if you do not resist the apparently inevitable, you will never know how inevitable the inevitable was.
Terry Eagleton, Why Marx Was Right, p. 6

It is wondrous strange how the lackey's and minions of the 'Harper Government' can fly a whole plane load of armored luxury vehicles over half way across the earth to India and have them arrive right on time, and yet in Canada the minions and lackey's of the 'Harper Government' can't seem to process an Unemployment Insurance application in less then eight weeks! Or the paper work for a senior citizen's first Canada Pension check, so that it will start right on time from the seasoned citizens birthday!

NOT Air Force One!

The Oracle of Ottawa is pondering that if your name is in the Conservative Information Management System otherwise known as CIMS, as a supporter instead of a non supporter, if things would go any faster? But one can suppose it is always better to take your own vehicles to India if one can, it is impossible to get the smell of India out of a suit. But what in heavens name do we in Canada want anything to do with India? Granted India is nominally the largest democracy on Earth, but it is still a real shit hole, and any business deal with an east Indian is a real pain in the ass!

Shiny cars - incoming!

The Oracle of Ottawa has it all down as a back door attack on India by the Peoples Republic of China, otherwise known as the 'Harper Governments' boss. I mean really, showing up in India with your own armored cars is like volunteering at the local food bank dressed in Prada or Armani! And the head towel head (lol) appeared to be really bent about something, and if you know east Indians, you will never figure it out.  It all looks like another train wreck in the making. I mean, really, what does India have that we in Canada need or even want?

Meanwhile back at the home front. Question Period was an absolute slaughter for the 'Harper Government'! It was just wild. The erstwhile minister of veteran affairs got totally clobbered! And that guest worker from Labrador, did he ever take a shit kicking. The 'Harper' of the 'Harper Government' but hurry his ass home before it all goes completely off the rails...   

Do the Denial Tango, It is really catching on in Ottawa...