Sunday, October 26, 2014

Jian Ghomeshi - The Real Reason...

Those who can give justice are owed justice.
John Rawls, A Theory Of Justice, p. 510

First, right off the bat, Jian Ghomeshi is no Peter Gzowski, and Q certainly is not Morningside. But the Oracle of Ottawa has certainly to give the young Jian an A++ for even have the guts and balls to even try to follow in such large footsteps. Imagine the Oracles amazement at the first sound of the news on Friday morning, thereabouts, that the young Jian was taking "time off for personal issues"! In about one nano-second the Oracle of Ottawa's bullshit alarm went off, in warning mode. Perhaps the youngster was a little shell shocked from all the events in Canada in the last week, in preparation of the 'Harper Government' self-coup, which will be started in earnest in the week coming.

Jian Ghomeshi (right)
 It was while the Oracle of Ottawa was Sunday driving up to the Ottawa Valley from Ottawa that he heard on the 4:00 p.m. CBC Radio 1 news, just before Cross Country Checkup, that Jian was no longer with the CBC. That the CBC had come into "certain information" whereby they could no longer have Jian about the premises of the CBC. Sound familiar? It seems that the Prime Ministers Office is firing CBC on-air personalities just like certain female 'Harper Government' cabinet Ministers!

Now of course the Oracle of Ottawa's bull shit alarm was sounding full blast in lock-on mode! Upon return from the Oracles appointed Sunday rounds, he was determined to get to the real cause of this cultural genocide, and to share the truth with his worldwide audience of Dear Readers, as a social service of course.  A search here, a search there, it will not be an impossible task.

Well Dear Readers the Oracle of Ottawa is happy to report that he is virtually certain that he has located the smoking gun, so to speak, that sealed the young Jian's fate. It did not take very long at all. And it had nothing to do with the introductory essay on the events of the Ottawa Shootings of Wednesday past, which was aired on Thursday last, although the Oracle of Ottawa could certainly detect the certain left of center bias in the young Jians words.

 No Dear Readers, it was another segment of the show that aired the same day. It was in interview with the young Justin Trudeau, Canada's next Prime Minister, that must have ignited a very large mushroom cloud in the Prime Ministers Office. The Oracle of Ottawa has secured a copy and it is included above this humble paragraph. The major offense occurs at 2:15 of the interview whereby Jian mentions that the CBC is the worst funded public broadcaster in the world! Case solved! There are other bits where Justin and Jian take turns trashing Jimmy Moore. You would probably enjoy watching the whole clip at least twice. The Oracle did.

On the 6:00 p.m. CBC Radio 1 news, it has been revealed that Jian has filed suit for a small amount of money not un-adjacent to the amount of fifty million dollars!! And of course, being a union member, has also filed a labour law grievance, in full knowledge that as a union member, he is entitled to his entitlements. The Oracle of Ottawa can find no fault.

For my world wide Dear Readers, the Oracle of Ottawa has also included a video of Jian in another life before he became a cultural pillar of Canada. Yes, he was the handsome, sexy, although vertically challenged, front man of the pop group Moxy Fruvous! Now as you listen carefully to the lyrics, you will quickly realize that the message is not conducive to Conservative Party of Canada's code of Family Values  and Conservative Purity as dictated by the Duck's Ass, Alberta Base Commission.      

 In closing the Oracle of Ottawa must advise his Dear Readers not to pine nor fret for the young Jian. While he was a Canadian pop star, he only sold about 500,000 albums in Canada and the United States. The royalty checks will certainly more than cover the paltry cost of a year long sabbatical, plus meals and guitar strings. Next year at this time, at the latest, Jian will be reinstated by Prime Minister Trudeau. As to the fate of Peter Mansbridge and Rex Murphy, all the Oracle can say is: Book your mover now...  

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Out Of The Way In Ottawa

There is a divergence between private and social accounting that the market fails to register. One essential task of law and government is to institute the necessary corrections.
John Rawls, A Theory Of Justice, p. 268

The Oracle of Ottawa was doing what he does every Wednesday morning, deep in his secure bunker, reading, and around 10:00 a.m., checking the BNN for the quality of the open of the Toronto Stock Exchange. The market was in a rally again, just like fish swimming upstream to spawn. And then the Oracle flipped to the news ticker on the CTV News Network for a silent tape stream of the morning headlines when he saw the BREAKING NEWS banner.

Darth Vader - Resistance is futile?

Something downtown on the Hill and the environs. Flipping to CBC News World the Oracle was not impressed that they were also in end of the world coverage also. But it all hit home as to the magnitude of the event when on channel 33, CNN was joining the rapture hoedown. The first thing that went through the Oracle of Ottawa's gifted brain was that the 'Harper Government' finally got its war.

The morning coverage was classic fog of war. From skipping through the channels the Oracle of Ottawa was utterly amazed at the conclusions of each source. It was the most surreal unfolding of events that the Oracle can remember in a very long time. There were at least four hit teams, there were $1.98 jihadists on every roof top in the downtown Ottawa area. The body count was surely going to be into the double digits before lunch time. It was the most embarrassing amateur hour hosted by Canadian media in a very long time. The Oracle of Ottawa can only hope that a very detailed review of practices and procedures will be undertaken for the coverage of future events.

Contrary to the mouth breathing musings of the Conservative Party talking heads, Canada has been through much worse in it's short history as a nation. Those of us that are somewhat seasoned can easily remember the October Crisis of 1970. The Oracle of Ottawa can still very clearly remember looking out of his grade seven class room window at Saint Joseph Catholic School onto the residence of Senator Joe Greene  who was Energy Minister in the Trudeau government at the time, living in a very grand house in Arnprior, to see a soldier, in full battle dress, armed with a sub machine gun, parading in front of the future Senators house! That is the kind of Canadian history that stays with you forever. 

Compared to the past that the Oracle of Ottawa has lived through, the past weeks events are essentially vandalism. Rag assed one offs. Hardly the attempted overturning of a Nation State. And as to blame? The Oracle of Ottawa blames the insane right wing wrecking crew ideology of the 'Harper Government'.  And there is a lesson to be learned from the events of the past week here in Canada. If a government fails to take care of all of it's people, a certain subset of people will soon take care of the government...there is no other rational and sane conclusion that one of sound mind and body can come to.

Monday, October 6, 2014

How To Sharpen Your Philishave

Science without guidance is doubly madness.
Baltasar Gracian, The Science Of Success And The Art Of Prudence, Sec. 16

The Oracle of Ottawa is discovering that his "Thinking About Thinking" project was one of the wisest little undertakings that the Oracle of Ottawa has ever undertaken. It is an ever ongoing project where by the Oracle of Ottawa is seeking wisdom, methods and algorithms to solve any big and/or small problem. It has been quiet useful with some big problems and much to the Oracles surprise it also works very well on the little aggravating problems.

Philishave - 1962, and yes you can sharpen the heads!!

If there is one thing that the Oracle of Ottawa truly loves, it has to be quality. There is hardly anything left in the Oracles secure bunker remaining that is made in China. It has all been replaced with the best domestic made goods. Sometimes these can only be replaced by a very careful search at the local thrift stores. When was the last time that you owned a really good can opener that was stamped Made in the USA?

With personal use items the Oracle of Ottawa is even more obsessive. The Oracle only uses the best he can buy and he uses them forever. As I pound this little missive the Oracle has realized that he has used the same hairbrush daily since about 1975! I paid nearly ten bucks for the darn thing, Made in Germany, and the bristles are still as stiff as the day of purchase. Even more amazing is that the Oracle still has roughly the same amount of hair to daily pull the brush through!

It was about two weeks ago that the Oracle noticed that his wonderful Philishave was starting to miss some hair on the craggy places of my neck. It is a 3000 series rotary three head, that is going into at least it's second decade. Although money is no object the Oracle realized that the parts have probably been long discontinued. Then the "Thinking about Thinking" lessons kicked in. Let the Oracle of Ottawa share the solution with you Dear Reader...

It is common knowledge that the steel in the Philishave rotary heads is the best. The damn things last forever. Top quality. It would be a shame to throw it out, it just needs a strop! If I could just get some fine scouring agent into the heads for a minute the Oracle was sure that the problem would be solved. Then the Oracle spotted the tube of Crest toothpaste on the counter! That is all there is to it Dear Reader. Take a small blob of toothpaste and place it in the center of the three rotors. Then with your finger rub it directly into the separate rotary heads, as it is running. (No awkward dis-assembly required...)  Then wet your finger and gradually apply water until the toothpaste foams up. Rinse the heads and then dry.

And it works like a charm! Why the Oracle of Ottawa totally shocked himself. It is all just critical thinking and logic applied left to right, and sometimes right to left. Results will vary, but the Oracle of Ottawa is very pleased that he will be keeping his Philishave for at least another couple of decades...   

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Justin Trudeau Whips It Out!

Knowledge, without personality, will not suffice.
Baltasar Gracian, The Science Of Success And The Art Of Prudence, Sec. 2

You just know the end is nigh when the Leader of the Third Party is talking like a Prime Minister with out the use of speaking points or 'do me' pink lipstick. But that was the case on Thursday of last week Dear Reader. The young Justin Trudeau was out giving a perfectly well attended speech. The latest poll data were in and the young Justin was way ahead in all of them. 

Justin Trudeau - The Next One...
 But it all went nuts at the question and answer period after the speech, hosted by the seasoned Don Newman, who the Oracle of Ottawa thought looked just great, for his exceeding number of years. When the young Next One  made the most excellent point that Canada would do much better by staying out of the Americans way in the airspace and rather contribute more to the humanitarian requirements of the 'wack the ISIS' mission. The line 'whip out our CF-18's to show them how hard they are' caused an absolute fire storm in the daily news cycle in Canada.

The Oracle of Ottawa damn near split a gut from laughing so hard, not to mention darn near falling off the couch. The image of Steve Harper of the 'Harper Government' running around naked in the middle east, save for his unraveling blue turban, with his half erect CF-18 flopping about in the breeze still brings a chuckle to the Oracle, even after so many days in passing. The Oracle of Ottawa saw it all as a defining moment. The balls of the young Justin have finally fully descended, no writ required. The next federal election campaign is now officially on.     

It is only the insanity of the last days of the Right Wing Revolution and the 'Harper Government' that would cause the creation of a mission for the Canadian Forces that would essentially entail dropping $100,000.00 smart bombs on $1.98 rag-assed jihadists! Even the thickest Conservative backbencher knows that the Americans don't need any more manned fighters to clutter up the already packed airspace of the middle east.  There are no doubt so many drones in the air at the time of this writing, that they require the air traffic control department of an aircraft carrier! 

You don't need the Oracle of Ottawa to tell you Dear Reader, that there are so many bodies under the ideological bus of the 'Harper Government' that the wheels can longer touch the ground. Now it appears that it is all much worse than that. The wheels are ready to completely fall off the bus all together. The bus is located in Ottawa at an out of the way location at a City of Ottawa snow plow garage, just outside the Chinese embassy personnel compound. If you go late at night you can see that said bus, now up on blocks, way at the back. If you are lucky, you will see the door open, with a weird old fat man at the steering wheel, with a grey toupee hanging off of the mirror, steering and shifting madly at the dead controls, screaming ' I,m driving the fuck out of this bus now!' at the top of his lungs... Such is the last waning days of the 'Harper Government'.    

Sunday, September 28, 2014

China's Old Men - Truth or Dare?

If a lion could talk, we wouldn't be able to understand it.
Wittgenstein, Philosophy of Psychology - A Fragment, Sec. 327

Those public demonstrations must be pretty bad in Hong Kong, as they even climbed to the top of the Canadian news cycle today. The paper mache Goddess of Democracy ought to be making it's appearance about anytime now. The Oracle of Ottawa is really enjoying watching China's old men twist. This ain't 1989 Dear Reader! There is so much more at stake at the time of this writing. Back in 1989 China did not have access to the massive and gullible capital markets of the Western Free World.

China's old men - trapped by the ideological balls?

Why it was only last week that Jack 'Forrest Gump' Ma hit up the New York Stock Exchange for over twenty billion real American dollars in that monster Variable Interest Entity IPO of the previously unknown Alibaba electronic bulletin board! The Oracle of Ottawa spent all the week before it went public to inform investors to beware, and that it was really only a two dollar preferred debt offering. Of course the Oracle of Ottawa caught a ton of heat online about it, but come tomorrow we will soon see who was right won't we?

The real question here Dear Reader, is Truth or Dare, Money or Power? Will the demented old peasants of China's corrupt and inbred politburo stomp the citizens of Hong Kong in the social and journalistic media light of the world like they did in Bejing in 1989? And if they did what will be the opening prices of all the Chinese variable interest entities that trade at present on the New York Stock Exchange, come the opening bell on Monday morning?

It is real ignorant, real world irony, of classical proportions that the option chains on Alibaba start trading tomorrow morning! And the Oracle of Ottawa's feelers went all fuzzy, when it was reported  on CNBC last week that some unknown hedge fund laid a huge short position on Alibaba, of 2.4 - 3.6% ! of the outstanding issue. Someone is real cocky or perhaps very well informed, perhaps a bunch of merchant banks from Hong Kong perhaps?

There were many reports about how many Chinese politburo members were "partners" in the last Alibaba IPO. Do you really think they are going to risk all that loot for the sake of a municipal election in Hong Kong? Will the old Chinese men cut the nose off of their very lost faces for mere ideological purity? The Oracle of Ottawa has heard that the Chinese can eat damn near anything, but ideology? Perhaps with a black bean sauce and some Deer Penis Wine...?

Saturday, September 27, 2014

City of Ottawa - Avro Lancaster Fly Over

Shared human behaviour is the system of reference by means of which we interpret an unknown language.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations, Sec. 206

It was a wonderful Indian Summer day here in Ottawa today. The Oracle of Ottawa greatly enjoyed yet another perfect Saturday Routine. I hit all my spots, and scored a passenger seat load of hard to find future reads for my ever ongoing "Thinking About Thinking Project".  It was just as I pulling in to my usual parking spot in the covered ground level parking garage at St. Laurent Shopping Center that I heard that roar of four Merlin engines. That fucking thing was real low this time. For a moment the Oracle suffered a small relapse and went briefly to utter black. You could feel the vibration through the car seat. It has been a while.

Dresden  1945 - Something to be proud of?

The Oracle of Ottawa slammed the Chevrolet into park, exploded out of the door, picked up the direction of the roar and sure enough it was that goddamned Avro Lancaster bomber flying way under 1000 feet. The Oracle of Ottawa thought he had taken care of this problem. It was many years ago that this monster of death was flying over the City of Ottawa at every occasion. The Oracle of Ottawa picked up the phone and called his Federal Member of Parliament. The Oracle then gave a very reasoned and passionate argument why these overflights, especially the real low ones must stop. The staffer must have been compelled by my argument, the flights stopped cold. Today was the first one since that time, it had been years of peace and quiet.

For any one who is reading this let the Oracle of Ottawa fill you in. The Oracle of Ottawa could get veteran license plates! Shit, the Oracle of Ottawa even still has his honorable release certificate, which is required at the DMV to get vet plates. But the Oracle of Ottawa would never do that. The Oracle of Ottawa truly believes that only veterans who served in a hot conflict, (i.e. shot at, a lot), should be the only people to ever get veteran plates. And don't even ask me about the Royal Canadian Legion. I have never been in one and I have no intention of ever going into one. It is a carry over of when they refused me entrance in the Arnprior, Ontario local branch, when I was in full uniform! Fuck those sweats for ever.

Avro Lancaster Bomber
 And yes the Oracle of Ottawa had a ton of relative veterans.  My grandfather, who served the whole length of World War II, and earned a very serious strip of medals damn near a foot wide, used to tell me war stories, until when I was about 11 years old, when I asked him if he had ever ran into Panzer Kurt Meyers Boy Army in France? I can still remember the look on his face as he went ashen white pale. There were no more war stories.  I had an uncle (?) on my mothers side who was a tank crew man in the run to Germany. I never met him, he had a metal plate in his skull, from taking a round to the tank he was in. My parents thought it wasn't safe for us kids to visit. And there was that distant relative that actually flew in the big bombers over Germany. The Oracle of Ottawa never met him either, he was a total mental basket case, that my parents and their circle discussed in whispered tones, who passed away sometime in the early 1970's. And then there was my Mothers brother who served in Korea with the Royal 22nd. Regiment. My Dad used to tell me he was a little touched before he went in, but the Oracle of Ottawa can tell you for sure that he was totally nuts for the rest of his life. The story that he used to tell of the endless waves of Chinese coming at the position and the site of the ammo belts quickly diminishing has stayed with the Oracle all his life so far.  And if you think it got awkward at my Mothers wake when my uncle first met one of my siblings Chinese wife, you have no freaking idea...     
But it is that sound of the Avro Lancaster bomber that drives me into an utter black rage every time I hear it. Just one of them flying low over head has the most evil sound. Could you even imagine the sound of 722 of them? Can you imagine the sound of 722 Lancasters  and 527 B-17's flying in onto a city? The Oracle often wonders if the people could have actually heard the drone of the Merlins before they saw them? Could you even imagine that there were Canadians flying those Lancasters over Germany? Over Dresden? And Dresden wasn't the only city that was fire bombed during World War II.  How the hell can any well informed Canadian tolerate the utter wanton flaunting of this past evil? Let the Oracle tell you Dear Reader, if we would have lost, our relatives would have been tried as war criminals.

It feels like it was decades ago now, when the new Canadian Aviation Museum opened in Ottawa, there was an exhibit of a Lancaster Bomber flight deck, that was salvaged from a Lancaster that flew several missions over Germany, so the guide said. You could sit in the flight crew seats. Damn! If you are ever in Ottawa you gotta check it out. Carl Jung said that large machines have anima, he forgot to mention that steel can soak up fear forever. Sit in one of the crew positions, try to imagine your over Germany in a lumbering pig full of fuel and munitions, any moment now the flak and the night fighters will certainly appear. Maybe even a ME-262, the worlds first operational jet fighter. There was no defense against it. You will actually feel your heart start to beat faster. It is a real bit of experience.

The Oracle of Ottawa has went on way to long on this one. If you ever do a tour of any kind of military duty you will discover that there is evil in the world. If you live a long time after it and really become well informed you will discover that you really have no idea how evil the world really is... It is the Oracle of Ottawa's greatest wish that this last flying Avro Lancaster monster of death be pulled into a museum and welded forever to the floor...  

Thursday, September 25, 2014

'Harper Government' - Just In Time War?

Better a handful of gratification
Than two fistfuls of labor which is pursuit of wind.
KETHUVIM, Ecclesiastes, 4:6, The Jewish Study Bible,  p. 1611

You would have to be living under a rock if you were in Ottawa, at the time of this writing, not to know that the 'Harper Government' and the Canadian right wing revolution are like two pieces of excrement circling ever closer to the center of the bowl at ever increasing speed. As the latest poll numbers come in, confirming the young Justin Trudeau as the 'Next One', the excremental centripetal forces are nearing the point of catastrophic failure.

Ask yourself: Who really created ISIS?

The 'Harper Government' is at the point where it is now forced to reap what it has sown over the last decade. The punks in short pants at the PMO and the Conservative war room have been having fits and many late nights as of late. Nothing seems to work anymore. The poll numbers show that the Canadian Public has tuned out completely, waiting for the writ to drop, or October 2015, which ever comes first.

The panic really set in when the Franklin false flag campaign totally failed when the overall Canadian response was; Prove it! That was when all the announcement videos on You Tube started to vanish. (See earlier posts...) The latest round of attack ads only caused another spike up in the Liberal Parties numbers. It seems that whatever action is taken, it is like going out and actually campaigning for the young Justin Trudeau! This is the worst nightmare to a spin doctor/fart catcher, as it signifies that the point of no return has long ago been passed and exceeded.

Something really desperate was required. And like magic and in perfect tune with the news cycle it appeared. The poor quality ISIS "audio tape" threatening Canada. Now the Oracle of Ottawa was not fooled for a moment with this one. ISIS is not a low budget operation, if that audio was real, ISIS would have made it into a video, and it would have been in full HD to boot!  Complete with soundtrack and score, not a half assed production by the Young Conservatives of Ducks Ass, Alberta! Ho HO!! As they say in baseball; " Got Heeeeemmmm".

Although the Canadian public caught on at once to the rickety ploy, the Conservatives just kept running with it. Just stick to the speaking points and stay on message. Without the approval of Parliament the desperate 'Harper Government' puked up Canadian boots on the ground, without even the Americans asking!  And while granting full media access to the Wall Street Journal (i.e. Fox News) hosted by Goldman Sachs, the chromed dome grise of the 'Harper Government' ran off at the mouth at the rate of over ten thousand words! And actually admitted that he lied to his own legislative body, when in the interview boasted (2:00) that Canada had the second largest force on the ground next to the United States! Which the Oracle of Ottawa was quick to notice would have be many more people than the lie of 39 persons that was sold to the Canadian media and the Canadian House of Commons!!

The best way to handle this rag assed ISIS uprising is to send in the drones 24/7. Put a phone number media campaign in the local television and radio media, that if you see black banners, call 1-800-PEST-Removal. The phone banks would be manned at CIA headquarters at Langley, and the targets listed and sent to Holloman Air Force Base. Where most if not all the drones are controlled from! Today there is simply no need for boots on the ground, you just set up a Face Book page! Too easy.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Google + Was It Something I Said?

(Lying is a language - game that needs to be learned like any other one.)
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations, Sec. 249

While checking my page views on Google + on Sunday(last) at 7:00 p.m. (E.S.T.) I had 1,024,571 views.  At 12:03 a.m. Monday I discovered that I only now had 964,924 views! The Oracle of Ottawa was shocked that my Google + account was now counting backwards. What ever could be the cause of that?

Freedom of Speech is now selective?

Well it just so happens that the Oracle of Ottawa was making some pretty cutting comments on videos that were describing that insane Alibaba initial public offering that went off last week on the New York Stock Exchange. The Oracle of Ottawa didn't agree with the whole thing at all.

We have all heard about Gresham's Law, which states basically that bad money drives out good money. Well the Oracle of Ottawa is smart enough to be able to project that a little farther and to come to the stark conclusion that bad securities on a once good stock exchange will drive away all the good stocks. When you are ready to allow old thing, no matter how big it is, for one dollar more, we are on a real slippery slope people.

Of course the whole thing was a rather strange glitch that I am sure the best and brightest at Google are on top of. But it does give one pause doesn't it? The Oracle can't but help feel that if I only commented on cute and cuddly kitten videos nothing regarding my page views would have occurred. But what ever you do, don't comment on peasant Chinese securities offerings of Variable Interest Entities on the New York Stock Exchange!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Rex Murphy - Dying By The Franklin Curse

A right hand glove could be put on the left hand, if it could be turned round in four - dimensional space.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus, Sec. 6.361111

Justin Trudeau at the time of this writing must certainly be at least 25 full percentage points in the lead of the last polls as favorite for Canada's next Prime Minister! It is the only explanation that the Oracle of Ottawa can come to explain the insane Franklin wheel spinning of the propaganda machine out of the Prime Ministers Office. In the last wasted decade of the 'Harper Government', the Oracle of Ottawa has never seen such desperation to date.

Howard Carter proved what he claimed to find...  
The propaganda has shifted from Canada's old war exploits to the tragic and doomed Franklin Expedition.  This is no doubt due to the bridge burning that has recently occurred with all of Canada's veterans, while out of one side of the Prime Ministers mouth he extolls the past victories and out of the other side he has cut just about every service that they have ever had! 

The ultimate insanity continued today on CBC radio, as nervous rex Murphy introduced today's topic of Cross Canada Check Up. What do you think of the incredible discovery of Franklins lost ship? That wasn't so bad, as the intro piece that no doubt the PMO wrote for him, that compared the discovery of this unknown and unidentified wreck as the greatest achievement since Howard Carter's discovery of King Tut's Tomb! The Oracle of Ottawa couldn't believe his ears!

Sir John Franklin - Note the resemblance...
The 'Harper Government' found an, as yet, unidentified wreck of a vessel that was of the same kind that was used by Franklin in his last expedition. There is no proof at the time of this writing that is actually one of the two lost Franklin ships. Although it is in only eleven meters of water and a Canadian warship was in the area, the 'Harper Government' for some strange reason did not see fit to drop a clearance diver over the side for a closer look, some pictures, and some canon serial numbers which would be definitive proof had they matched the records! Can you explain that Dear Reader?

And for the riffraff of the likes of nervous rex Murphy, Peter Mansbridge, and the ultimate scum of the 'Harper Government' to deface and smear a great man of the ilk of Howard Carter to further their pathetic propaganda ends makes the Oracle of Ottawa want to puke. Howard Carter claimed what he found. And unlike the scum of the 'Harper Government'  he was able to prove it at once to the world!

 Unlike nervous rex Murphy, Peter Mansbridge, and most of the 'Harper Government' the Oracle of Ottawa actually graduated from an Ontario high school, and unlike the previous named, the Oracle of Ottawa even went to college and graduated from that also! The Oracle of Ottawa has learned a few things.  The most important being that it is very dangerous to make bogus and or unproven claims in science, words, or law. No one in their right mind would even think of doing that. Why is the 'Harper Government' persisting in this unproven claim without any factual confirmation?

One thing is certain from the outcome of recent events. There are two contracts at the CBC that will no doubt not be renewed when the Trudeau Government comes to office.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

CRTC - Let's Talk TV Hearings

I must not saw off the branch on which I am sitting.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations, Sec. 55, p. 31

The Oracle of Ottawa has been watching television for darn near as long as television has been around. My earliest memory is watching The Friendly Giant on the mother ship of the world famous CBC. It was pretty awesome on the 26 inch Zenith with the wooden curtains! The whole broadcast universe back then consisted of less than five channels. The Oracle still has very vivid memories of watching the development of the United States Gemini space program. And I can still vividly remember that summer night when man first walked on the moon, and the screams of my mother when Oswald was capped on live television. Television back then was important.

Television - Finally at the fork in the road?
 Now the Oracle of Ottawa watches his television on a bitchin' 42 inch Samsung, with the digital box, with way more than one bundle. There is something on channel 1 through to channel 999! And even though he has enjoyed it for a couple of years now, the Oracle of Ottawa is still blown away sometimes by the images from high definition. But like most Canadians the Oracle of Ottawa has a lot of gripes with his local cable provider.

The main bitch that the Oracle of Ottawa has had and still has with his cable provider is trying to get rid of that bundle buried in the bundle(s) that he has already paid for. The Oracle of Ottawa calls this the STC bundle. And it doesn't matter what bundle you pick you always get stuck with the STC bundle. You just can't be rid of it. The STC bundle consists of the Sheets, Towels and Chopstick channels. For some weird reason in Canada and with Rogers Communications you just can't be rid of these useless channels.

Most Canadians don't give a shit about what it costs. We just want what we want, and some body better give it to us or we will make other arrangements. The cable companies still claim that it is technologically impossible to provide pick and pay! And they still deny that the cable box does not tell them everything that I do through their cable box remote! The Oracle of Ottawa is very relieved that his tax dollars have been spent maintaining  the CRTC regulatory agency. These pick and pay hearings I am sure are going to bring us all a lot of relief.

 So far it has been mighty funny watching the corporate whore lawyer from Bell spout the old same tired crap. But this time there is real fear in his voice. The Oracle of Ottawa just loved that. Pick and pay is coming, and it will no doubt be forced down the overfed throats of the corporate whores of media. May we all get to feast in our equal shares of the burnt savory offerings!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Tim Hortons - Joining The Dark

The work of a philosopher consists in marshalling recollections for a particular purpose. 
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations, Sec. 127, p. 55

Tim Hortons has been around darn near as long as the Oracle of Ottawa. It was one of Canada's most iconic and loved brands. The old days were the best. All the baked goods were actually baked in the store. Not received frozen and then microwaved by a temporary foreign worker. There fore each Tims location had its own finger print so to speak. There were no purchase or time restrictions once upon a time. And you could even smoke right at the table! Seems like the lost coffee shop of Eldorado don't it?

Board meeting at Burger King?

Now that the Oracle of Ottawa has left or rather, abandoned the rat race of this present locked down world, he finds himself less and less at the Tim Hortons. The last straw came when the corporate over whores in marketing at head office decided that that they would discontinue the extra small coffee size. And after tasting the new Dark Roast, the Oracle of Ottawa decided that it was all just a corporate whores marketing plan to 'frame' Tim Hortons more with the Starbucks crowd. If I wanted to go to Starbucks I would just go there. But I have never been in a Starbucks in my life and I am not changing that anytime soon.

As you get older and wiser, you realize that everything eventually comes to an end. It takes a brand with the highest morals and standards to preserve over long periods of time. An example of a brand that has survived since 1833 is C. F. Martin & Company the legendary maker of acoustic guitars. These brands are becoming more and more scarce as time goes on.  The Oracle of Ottawa has come to the hard realization that the brand of Tim Hortons is in all likely hood just not going to survive the near future.

The worst, most untimely marketing campaign of all time?

When the Oracle of Ottawa first heard about the rumors that Burger King was in talks to take over Tim Hortons, the Oracle of Ottawa dismissed it all out of hand. The first thought that went through my very ample and brilliant head was; "Ain't ever gonna happen".  But with the price of  $94.00 a share and the backing of the Oracle of  Omaha, the Oracle of Ottawa had to concede that it has a likely 50 -50 chance of actually happening.

  What is most dismaying is that a scum, nearly dead brand such as Burger King could just march up to Canada flash some filthy cash and the board of Tim Hortons just seemed to cave in on the spot! The only reason that Burger King is doing this deal is to prop up its own nearly dead business model on the life blood of another, in the near future hope that there will be a bigger fool out there somewhere where by the Wall Street Bankers will be able to flip it over for a couple of million or billion, depending on the fool that can be found at the desired time.

It is all really depressing. But there is a silver lining. Somebody somewhere here in Canada will take a close look at the original Tim Hortons model and do it all again from scratch. Many ground floor opportunities are and will be had, and the Oracle of Ottawa will be watching out for them. And you should to Dear Reader...  

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

'Harper Government' - Floundering With Franklin?

A sentence in a story gives us the same satisfaction as a picture.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Grammar, p. 171

It was all the news today here in Canada. It was announced by the chromed domed eminence himself, along with his most trusted spin doctors and fart catchers assorted, that one of the long lost ships of the doomed and tragic Franklin Expedition had been located somewhere up in Northern Canada south of King William Island. The first thing that struck the Oracle of Ottawa was how could they make that claim with out even having dived the wreck, which later in the day was announced to be in only eleven meters of water!

Sir John Franklin - As insane as Stephen Harper?
And then for some strange reason the Oracle of Ottawa felt a rage suddenly well up in him. And this reaction is being quite noted all over Canada at the time of this writing. This is not a Canadian story in the least. It is a tragic story of a megalomaniac with a very advanced  death wish psychoses, not at all unlike Steve Harper of the 'Harper Government', who dragged himself and a whole expedition to their deaths. Just like the 'Harper Government' is dragging Canada to a very uncertain future. And whose policies have emboldened the likes of Putin and have created the world environment that has allowed the ISIS Islamic State to thrive...    

It all started to unravel  around 5:00 p.m. when the momentous discovery was discussed on Power and Politics on CBC Newsworld. The majority of the panel was less than impressed. There were very many questions. Such as how does this useless unchecked "discovery" make my life as a Canadian any better? Will it speed up the delivery of my unemployment check? Will it bring critically needed home services to Veterans that have recently been gutted by the 'Harper Government' ? Will it make the lives of the survivors of missing and murdered aboriginal women any better? Will it allow home door to door mail delivery to continue? No? Then what the fuck is it good for? And how in hell can you call finding the remains of a colossal failure very much not unlike your own as 'Nation Building' ?

It is going to look pretty bad if that hulk is not one of the two Franklin Expedition ships. It has totally shocked the Oracle of Ottawa that Parks Canada has not its homework on this one. The two expedition ships of the Franklin Expedition were known as bomb vessels. Do you know Dear Reader how many of these were built by and for the Royal Navy in the 19th century? The list is very long indeed. There were at least one hundred ships of this class constructed! Do you know Dear Reader how many expeditions were sent to look for Franklin in the 19th century alone - Twenty at least! And not to mention how many of these vessels were used by the Hudson Bay Company to supply their outposts into the 20th century!

But it was the communications genius of Geoff Norquay (a total sack of crap..) on hire from Earnscliffe Strategy Group that let all the cats out of the bag, on air, in real time.  The little whippersnapper from the NDP mentioned that instead of looking for Franklins long lost remains it would have been more intelligent to be doing serious mapping for all the international boundary commissions that Canada will have to attend to defend its present borders in the next two years. Geoff Norquay rolled his eyes knowingly nearly into the back of his head and stated that there has been a serious amount of mapping done to locate Franklins trash. Then the young NDP lad stated that that mapping is over five hundred miles useless from the area where mapping was most required! It was killer Dear Reader and no doubt Geoff Norquays last screw up on the PMO dime.

Monday, September 8, 2014

John Baird Plays Gulf of Tonkin?

No sign leads us beyond itself, and no argument either.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Grammar, p. 114

You know it is the dog days of the 'Harper Government' when you have the Minister of Foreign Affairs in the personage of one John Baird, blathering gibberish that the Russians, having overflown HMCS Toronto somewhere in the Black Sea constitutes a grave act of war. The Oracle of Ottawa nearly fell of of his sofa when he saw the report on Power and Politics on the good old CBC.  The Oracle of Ottawa is certain that the train wreck minister will soon be doing very gay interior designs for the new Liberal government McMansions in his riding of Barfhaven within the next year.

It is sort of like the Gulf of Tonkin incident all over again.  The war hounds of the 'Harper Government' are trying just one more time, in the hope that a tragedy will some how save their worthless hides. Or it could be that the minister was reading from prepared notes from the United States Department of State, seeing as the president is to speak to the issue(s) on Wednesday night in Prime Time!

HMCS Toronto
Let the Oracle of Ottawa assure all Canadians that what happened to the HMCS Toronto is nothing out of the ordinary. Canadian naval units get "zoomed" all the time. What has really pissed off the Oracle of Ottawa is that when he as a young blood on HMCS Fraser sometime in 1984 and that not only got "zoomed", but "brushed up" by a big bad scary Kashin destroyer of the then Soviet Union!  It got even worse and way more scary when they zoomed us with a Badger bomber at around 150 feet. All these incidents were done with full weapon radars in lock on mode! Which is an act of war in the international law text books. And can be very carcinogenic as we were all told later. And not a word of that ever got into the media back in Canada! What was up with that Dear Reader?

At least HMCS Toronto didn't run into this!

So what could the lads and ladies on the HMCS Toronto have been up to, to provoke such a nasty old cold war response from Ivan? It did not take the Oracle of Ottawa long to find out. And the Oracle of Ottawa has included video proof. The drone flight over the hot area in Ukraine probably did not go over very well. But even then there is nothing to worry about. (link to secret video...)

HMCS Toronto is part of, by now, a very large SAG, or surface action group.  It includes on the newest and baddest American carriers which I shall not name. If there is a carrier, there is also several nuclear powered submarine attack boats. And seeing the gravity of this situation and how it could get all out of control it would not surprise the Oracle of Ottawa that there also a "boomer" somewhere on station. Loaded up with ICBM's with the pits in and standing by. Hopefully the hapless members of the press and the various MP's will ask about such things at John Baird's briefing tomorrow... 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Writing - The Million Page View Paradox

I hope that the essay will be useful for some, while harmful to none, and that my openness will be to everyone's liking.
Rene Descartes - Discourse on The Method, p. 4

It happened some time last Monday night or early Tuesday morning. The Oracle of Ottawa's page view counts on his Google + and his 'umble blog added up to over 1,000,000 views. It was another goal that I thought I had set impossibly high and would never be achieved. But yet again I over achieved without even really trying. Now I have to think of some other impossible thing to go for.

The Oracle of Ottawa hones up another one...

The Oracle of Ottawa has taken the summer off. Due to the ongoing implosion of the Canadian right wing revolution and the soon to end 'Harper Government' the Oracle of Ottawa felt that his work was done. And has taken great pleasure in the fact that his words have helped to put another nail into the coffin of the 'Harper Government'. The polling numbers are relentless and unchanging. The young Justin Trudeau will be the next Prime Minister of Canada, and it will be very well before the next set election date in 2015.

Yes indeed Dear Reader, the budget will indeed take care of itself, especially when you are going to legalize pot across Canada! The 'Harper Government' just can't even begin to deal with it. It is a joy to see the wingers twist. There are also very many other issues, too many to mention, that the conservatives are on the wrong side of history on. Rather then try to deal with it in rational manner, old Steve Harper is back up in northern Canada still hoping to find Franklin. You can't make this stuff up. The Oracle of Ottawa is pretty sure that Franklin and his company have been dead for very many years now. And besides they were not Canadians. If the Brits want look for him, well they should go ahead and knock themselves out. But so far in the last decade or two it has been a no show. Do you think there is information in that Dear Reader?

Now about that million page paradox. It was with great chagrin that the Oracle of Ottawa has slowly learned that one chippy comment on Google + would on average get ten times more hits then one of my highly crafted blog essays! How ignorant is that? You know Dear Reader how the Oracle of Ottawa feels about twitter and literature in 140 character batches. Yet I must come to the conclusion that the Oracle of Ottawa is just a total natural at it or that people are dumber than I thought in my wildest dreams.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

China - The Best One Volume History

Nations are what their deeds are.
G. W. F. Hegel, The Philosophy Of History, p.74

If you are not living under a rock, you don't need anyone to tell you that China has become, in recent times, a very large force in the world. This is of course going to be real trouble in the near future. A good way to understand this is to have a basic understanding of the history of China. The problem is that the peasants of the Peasants Republic of China has a history that covers roughly about eight thousand years.
Worried about China? Forget about it..
 As a public service for his world wide readership the Oracle of Ottawa has been keeping an eye out for the perfect modern day summary that the modern busy person of today could read and benefit from. The problem with Chinese histories is that there is  a lot of them and most of them are as boring and as dry as fried out area of hell. The ideal situation would be to discover one that was written by someone that was actually on the ground at the time of the big modern changes that we are all presently dealing with today.

It is all a pretty tall order, but the Oracle of Ottawa has discovered just the ticket recently, by total chance of course, while still ever working on his "thinking about thinking" project. The name of the work is: A History of Chinese Civilization by Jacques Gernet.(Second edition...) It is under 800 pages, but is the most readable history of Chinese civilization that the Oracle of Ottawa has ever seen. And for good measure the Oracle of Ottawa has read it and most heartily recommends it as the work that hits the spot.

The one you want...
 The work has been translated into English and published by Cambridge University Press which is all that has to said as far as the bona fides are concerned. The book consist of eleven parts, broken into numerous chapters. After reading through it, the reader will have a very strong handle on what makes China tick, and why it ticks in the way it does. It explains most clearly the greatest weaknesses of China as a society in the modern world. The time period covered is from 8,000 B.C. up to 1989 A.D. with that nasty business in Tiananmen Square. The work is very well illustrated, with tons of summary facts and chronologies for handy quick reference. 

This is a most useful work for persons that are thinking of investing and /or doing business in China. (Don't!) Or for people that just want to understand the evening news somewhat more clearly. The main idea is that China is totally different from the Western World. It explains why, and why it will never change. It also explains the great structural weaknesses that presently are built into Chinese society  The Oracle of Ottawa has also included a video of another Canadian who has also been on the ground very recently and comes to pretty much the same conclusions as Gernet does but in an even more hard hitting way. Enjoy...

Monday, June 23, 2014

Solving Fusion - Excuse Me But...

For the robust, an error is information; for the fragile, an error is an error.
Nasim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p.72

The Oracle of Ottawa has been hearing that fusion is just around the corner since he was a teenager in the 1970's. And like the end of the world, and that Canada is going to run out of natural gas next year, the Oracle of Ottawa is still waiting. The only difference between then and now is that now the Oracle of Ottawa's bags are packed.

Tokamak - We just need a simpler tube?
 You wonder is what going on the world of big egg headed science. The Oracle of Ottawa has commented on this subject at least once before in this humble blog. Deep into the darkest night the Oracle thinks things. And when  it comes to fusion the Oracle wonders why mere mortals keep thinking that they can create a star process on earth. And then he thinks some more, and wonders why would you even want to do that?

Most mortals alive today at the time of this writing cannot even begin to visualize the sheer massive magnitude of the space, materials and utter sheer physical forces required for a star to kick into the fusion process. How much larger is our sun compared to the mass and volume of the earth? Well the suns diameter is 109 times greater then the earth, and it weighs 330,000 times more than the earth. And it has a surface temperature, that is on all the time, of about 5,500 degrees C! And somehow we are going to copy this awesome force on puny little earth. Give the Oracle of Ottawa a break.    

 And as the Oracle of Ottawa was watching another utterly futile piece of fusion propaganda on You Tube, he came to a rather startling realization. A Tokamak is nothing but a great big vacuum tube. How about the irony of that? Over half of the people living today have never even seen a vacuum tube, let alone know what it is. But the Oracle of Ottawa remembers them very well indeed. They were in everything once. And the really old fashioned tubes were honking large and ran very, very hot. Come to think of it, the whole point of this fusion thing is to boil water at around 100 degrees C. Why in hell do we need a process with a minimum temperature of 5,500 degrees? D'ohhh.....

Saturday, June 14, 2014

'Chain Gang' Tim Hudak Gets Crushed - Good Riddance!!

Men always love what is good or what they find good; it is in judging what is good that they go wrong.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract, Chapter 7

It is with great relief that the Oracle of Ottawa can report to his worldwide readership that you will not be seeing OPP officers standing shotgun over chain gangs at the side of our roads, highways and controlled access freeways, if you happen to be visiting Ontario anytime into the far far future. That threat and a whole lot of others fell by the wayside on Thursday last of this week.

'Chain Gang' Tim - Campaign to oblivion...
 It was the 2014 Ontario Provincial Election that settled it all, once and for all, for most of our lifetimes. For any corporate whores that were hoping that Ontario was soon to become a Right To Work Province like some third world southern American State, you can catch the next flight to Mexico. That was a another winger dream that also died last thursday for the next couple of decades at least.

As the Christian Fundamentalists in their shiny patent black leather shoes pack to go back to the winger think tanks that they came from in the United States, they have all come to the same conclusion; the right wing revolution will never catch on in Canada. These Canadians are just too smart to buy the think tank wrecking crew bullshit. As far as the minions of the 'Harper Government' are concerned, the on loan wingers will not be returning any calls from now on.

The one great lesson that the Oracle of Ottawa learned from this election is that the right wing wingers cannot take their own bullshit at all. The well funded trade unions in Ontario went right for the conservative style attack ads full bore, and it worked perfectly. It soon appeared that 'Chain Gang' Tim couldn't take as well as he tried to give. The big union bosses easily out spent the corporate whores. Like the Liberal gas plants it was money well wasted.  
The other great lesson is that the corporate whore pollsters are so corrupt and for the right wing that they are all but useless. They actually thought that the people of Ontario were stupid enough to vote the way that the flawed polls indicated. The people of Ontario simply stopped talking to them. And when the dust settled on Thursday night last, the pollsters were more humiliated than 'Chain Gang' Tim! It was high and wonderful comedy that the Oracle of Ottawa enjoyed very much.

It was a room of less then fifty supporters that were outnumbered by the media that greeted the defeated 'Chain Gang' Tim as he came to deliver his resignation speech. The Oracle of Ottawa was wagging for hours after that. As the Oracle of Ottawa was driving down many Ontario roads the next day, that were chain gang free, he listened to the right wing talking heads writhing in winger agony on the AM radio talk shows. It is only about another year to wait and it will be the turn of the 'Harper Government'... The Oracle of Ottawa id greatly looking forward to that...  

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

'Harper Government' - Twilight Of The Revolution?

The people had not yet heard the cry of war.
Homer, The Iliad, Book 4, Line 331

At the time of this writing, late into the night, deep in the secure bunker, the Oracle of Ottawa ponders the present state of the 'Harper Government' Right Wing Revolution. Lets see; the conservative mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford is now somewhere deep into rehab. And is essentially out of office. 'Chain Gang' Tim Hudak, the head of the Conservative Party of Ontario is caught in a very dirty and tight provincial election and will soon realize a longly held dream. He will probably be a greeter at some Wall Mart early next week.

Danny hopes for a gun registry and fully funded mental health programs...
 Meanwhile at the federal level, the Oracle of Ottawa can't help but notice the recent change in the presence and demeanor of Stephen Harper of the 'Harper Government'. Ever since that ex PMO officer released his book and the Supreme Court of Canada utterly trashed the great man, yet again, he now has a different look. The snarkyness has greatly increased. It was very evident in that Abbott press conference earlier this week. Could the once great man be having a slow motion nervous breakdown?

When the subject got to a carbon tax and the recent actions of President Obama to combat climate change, Ole Steve kept to the winger script. There was no attempt to moderate the tone, even as his own hole was starting to come down on him, he just pushed on with a bigger shovel. It all got much stranger latter into the scrum on the subjects of sex workers and legal pot. These things were not banned because they were hurtful, they are banned because they are harmful! Or some such bull shit words to that effect. Why doesn't the 'Harper Government' ever say that about guns?       

Today was the funeral in Moncton for three fallen Mounties. The Prime Minister of the 'Harper Government' gave the usual fire and brimstone winger speech. Great photo op, the folks of the base in Duck's Ass Alberta just love it. More law and order, less government, why hell, someday,  no government! The Oracle of Ottawa can't help but think that this sad event would have never happened if we still had the old gun registry, and if we actually had fully funded social programs for youth mental illness. The word is leaking out that the family of the shooter tried and tried. Spending Canadians tax money on that is just stupid. And when the specters rise up out of the trailer parks for their last stand conservatives rub their hands together in glee, another funeral, another photo op...

Monday, June 9, 2014

Brazil - Couldn't Even Afford The Roof

Direct approaches make a distinction between means and ends that often does not exist in reality.
John Kay, Obliquity, p. 50

You know the Brazil 2014 World Cup of soccer is going to be an utter train wreck when somebody in Canada even realizes it from watching the old fashioned vulgar TV media. Billions of dollars have been poured down the proverbial shit hole. The Oracle of Ottawa really thought that story on the stadium built up the Amazon River was especially a laugher. It ought to be a hoot watching all the pussy Euro types drop dead one by one, as the weeks progress. And even someone called jay low, who ever that is, has now refused to show up! The omens are really adding up. 

No soccer for paupers?

And the overall look of the structural rigidity of said stadiums, as far as the Oracle of Ottawa is concerned, look to be somewhat shakey, to say the least. But the Oracle will concede that watching the video on You-Tube of one of them collapsing with a sell out house will certainly be great summer entertainment. Seeing as there is no war scheduled this summer in the sand spit Middle East. You have to take what you can get in the off season.

The main broadcaster of the World Cup in Canada is the poor old CBC, Canada's State Broadcaster. The Oracle of Ottawa can only wonder what the hell they were on or what they were thinking. God only knows how many millions of scarce cultural resources were pissed away to secure the transmission rights. The Oracle of Ottawa figures that at least 10,000 people in Canada, a country of over 35 million people, will be watching at one time. Soccer sure as hell can't compete in the ratings when the almighty Blue Jays are on a hell of a roll this season. Why anyone would want to watch soccer when they can easily watch Major League Baseball is an utter mystery to the Oracle of Ottawa. 

The latest information at the time of this writing states that most all the essential services will be out on strike before the first tip off. That will be something to check out the progress of between innings as I watch my daily baseball game or two or maybe even three. The parts where the locals rob and kidnap the foreigners at will ought to be also most amusing. Not to mention all the weird STD's that will be transmitted back to the developed world after the said great event.  

If you need any more proof that soccer is a corrupt, fixed game with a totally corrupt and out of control board of governance, I guess you will be tuning in, to watch the paint dry. What really makes the Oracle of Ottawa wonder late into the night is why an up and coming country like Brazil would even want the hassle and outsized risk and expense of holding such a train wreck, when they so many other pressing problems on their own patch. Of course the answer to that is easy. Every one has gotten greased. The money is secure in a daisy chain of off shore tax havens, impossible to trace, and proof of a very successful political career.  And as far as the poor and destitue are concerned, Fuck'em, there is plenty more were they came from...

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Stock Picking - A Nine Factor Model

Our decisions matter. We can change the world. Keynes economic prescriptions reveal that as we make decisions we do change the world.
Peter L. Bernstein, Against The Gods - The Remarkable Story Of Risk, p. 230

At the time of this writing there are 3,860 securities to pick from in Canada on the Consolidated Toronto Stock Exchange. If you live in the United States there are way over 10,000 securities to choose from on the three major markets. If you go into the pink sheets there are several thousand more to choose from. And the Oracle of Ottawa has heard that there is a ton of low hanging fruit still to be found on any given day.

Just Roll'em...

The Oracle of Ottawa cannot tell his Dear Readers from around the world, how many times he has held his fresh, new and very expensive copy of Investments by Bodie, Kane and Marcus in his left hand and his latest brokerage statement in his right hand only to be told by the standard book that what I did last month is totally impossible! Some day the Oracle of Ottawa is going to read that book and do it the "right way", but not today.

As a public service to my Dear Readers from around the world, the Oracle of Ottawa has decided that he is going to share with you basically how he picks a stock. It is a nine factor model of data that is commonly available on the internet for free. The Oracle of Ottawa has never paid for investment advice in his life, and neither should you Dear Reader.I will present my nine favorite factors with a link that will take into more detail. And some brief comments, that I have learned from having my own skin in the game for a number of years.

1./ Share Price: The lower the better! Contrary to the assumed wisdom, you will not make very much from buying Apple at over $500.00 a share. The Oracle of Ottawa has found that the sweet spot is between two to ten dollars a share. As a matter of fact my first ten bagger was on a two dollar stock. The Oracle of Ottawa loves two dollar stocks. If you are tempted to follow the crowd, ask yourself, what will double first, a two dollar stock or a one hundred dollar stock? Think about it.

2./ Price/Earnings: Lower the better. Buy a dollars worth of earnings for as little as possible. There is no law against it, and forget the textbook.

3./ Dividend Rate: The higher the better. New studies by the people of the book have recently found that that high yielding stocks do the best! Never buy a stock in a company that doesn't comp you with a nice fat rate for just waiting. Contrary to the book, high yields abound in the markets, all you have to do is discover them. And yes there are many free lunches to be had in capitalism, Who knew?

4./ Price/Sales: The lower the better. A low price sales ratio is a great indication of vigor. In Canada it is not uncommon to find price sales ratios way under 1.00. Would you believe 0.05 to 0.50 is pretty common? It is.

5./ Price/Book: The lower the better. There is nothing wrong with buying a dollar for fifty cents or even less. And contrary to the text book, these stocks are still out there in the market waiting to be discovered. So much for the Efficient Markets Hypothesis!   

6./ Volume: The higher the better. Steadily rising daily volume is very bullish from my experience.

7./ News: More positive news the better. A company with a clearly defined mission is very bullish indeed.

8./ Price/Cash Flow: The lower the better. (See the link...) The more money that is flowing through the company the better. A low ratio indicates wicked vigor.

9./ Beta: Doesn't make any difference. Beta is a lot like mutual fund performance. Past history is no indication of future performance. Trust the Oracle on this one. The Beta of a stock has made no difference to the Oracles historical performance. Don't let it get in your way.

The Oracle of Ottawa hopes that this will perform a much needed public service. And be very wary of academics who write about stocks and even win the Nobel Prize, and yet have never owned a stock in their own name in their life! Read their books for a laugh, then study the people who have actually went out and did it. You can't go wrong with those guys.