Saturday, February 22, 2014

'Harper Government' - Finds The Messiah!

What you should know, you will know before all other gods or men.
Homer, The Iliad, Book I.537-538, Barry B. Powell translation

You can see it all coming over the horizon now. Not even the Winter Olympics can stop the ratings for the young Justin as he throws the midwinter Liberal Party bash in Montreal this weekend. The Oracle of Ottawa dreams of the social whirl of an Ottawa with a young Prime Minister again, with a truly posh wife and young family. So much better than that pathetic present trophy wife that is dressed at Wall Mart. But don't worry folks, in a couple of months from now, it will be like the Conservatives never even existed. Just a bad dream, the rain that must fall between dynasty's. 

The Messiah has been found!!

The Prime Ministers Office was not doing itself or the Prime Minister any favors by sending Pierre 'Trailer Park' Poilievre out to the wee convention as a delegate for the Conservative Party of Canada. He was as out of place as a Montreal Road street walker at a New Testament Conference. But Trailer Park is as posh as the 'Harper Government' has. Besides, the punks in short pants at the PMO know this now, they know that anything they do, is just the same as campaigning for the young Justin Trudeau.

A million dollar shot for the Messiah...

The Oracle of Ottawa wonders why the 'Harper Government' even bothered last month to load up Con Air with over 200 of Canada's most virulent messiah hunters, as they took the vagrants tour to those sand spit middle east micro states to look for the messiah and to compare notes on what the plan would be when the fortunate godhead was found. Not that the Oracle of Ottawa has anything against that kind of exodus, it is just that it still smarts that the Oracle of Ottawa had to foot the bill with HIS tax dollars. But the word in Ottawa at the time of this writing is that there will be no more vagrant tours in the future, near or far. The Conservative Bund has finally come to the realization that the Messiah is right in their midst. And of course, in truly New Testament fashion, the next cornerstone was rejected out of hand by the present builders. Ain't it the way it always goes?

Well, the guys down at the local Chabad all agree that it has all been a hell of a run, G-d was really on their side for once. They scored more elevators and wheel chair ramps that ought to last until the next final judgement! The plane tickets back to the sand spit micro state are already booked, as are all the beach houses and cabanas. The only thing left to do is get someone in to sing the El male rachamim. Meanwhile, at the time of this writing, it is time to watch the young Justins speech once again, and to count out the last remaining days of the Hideous  'Harper Government'...   

Saturday, February 15, 2014

'Harper Government' - Income Splitting Decoded

Your own life is not long, but death already stands close beside you,
Homer, The Iliad, Book 16.847, Barry B. Powell translation

The Oracle of Ottawa thought he would never live to see it, but as a reward for my wild misspent youth, the Gods have allowed the Oracle to live so long, and have allowed the Oracle of Ottawa to have witnessed a representative of the far right wacko C. D. Howe Institute actually agree with a representative of the the far left wacko Broadbent Institute on a political matter of great importance to all Canadians. The Oracle of Ottawa swears he again felt the very Earth tremble, yet again.

What income splitting will really buy...

It is of no doubt to the Oracle of Ottawa that once the words were out of the mouth's of the far right and the far left spokesmen, there immediately came the next thought; if I am not the patsy, and you are not the patsy, that simply means that we are both doomed! That is a pretty safe conclusion for all Canadians to arrive at in this turbulent time, and a pretty good indication of the chaos and or evil plans that are being deployed against us, one and all, by the 'Harper Government'.

As the Oracle of Ottawa has already mentioned, income splitting will only be to the advantage of about 15% of present Canadian taxpayers. It will be unsustainably expensive, at over at least 3 billion dollars a year. But aside from the actual economic cost, it will have even graver social effects. It will curtail the rights of women overall on the national level, and especially in 'Harper Government' strongholds. And you sheeple believed Rex Murphy when he told you, bald faced, that Steve Harper did not have a hidden and grave agenda! It will also go a very long way to the reintroduction of a systemic class system, that Canada since Confederation, has laboured  so hard to avoid. 

The recent "vagrant's tour" - more than a million dollar shot?

And as we are deep into the agenda of the majority government, we all know the 'Harper Government' algorithm by now, don't we? Slow gradual incremental change. After income splitting, allow the Oracle of Ottawa to tell you what will be next Dear Reader. All of a sudden the Conservative Party of Canada will be strangely in favor of Proportional Representation! Wait for it. And then ever so gradually after that, there will  be certain classes that will not have to pay any taxes, at all. And when the clarion of war sounds, that same class will be exempt from service, and all their spawn. Yes Dear Reader, income splitting is the first thin wedge of the creation of the ultimate goal of the 'Harper Government' secret agenda. A combined right wing religious theocracy! Now The Handmaid's Tale doesn't seem to far in the future at all, does it Dear Reader? That left wing piece of fluff in the personage of Margaret Atwood sure looks on the money at the time of this writing.

Another very strange event happened this week, that the Oracle of Ottawa in his wildest dreams never thought would come true. The Oracle of Ottawa was in total agreement with the wee banty finance minister Jim Flaherty on a number of points, pinch the Oracle, he must be dreaming. The first was the implementing of income splitting in Canada for any reason, save and except for seniors, and the other? The Oracle of Ottawa despises that bastard Jason Kenney as much as the wee finance minister does....

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Jim Flaherty - All Rainbow, No Gold

They walked in silence along the sea that grows no crops.
Homer, The Iliad, Book I.316, Barry B. Powell translation

Well, the Oracle of Ottawa  lost his money in the coffee circle pool. The Oracle of Ottawa took the side that bet that the wee banty finance minister of the 'Harper Government' would not rise to his seat and deliver the 2014 Action Plan Budget. The Oracle of Ottawa was going on the condition that he saw the Minister in during a media clip from the Christmas break last. The Oracle of Ottawa was sure it was double pneumonia, and wagered accordingly. But all in, it has been horrendus to watch the decline of this man in the last brief while.

Wee Jimmy - All Rainbow, No Gold...
 It all seemed to start after that pre exploratory trip for the big vagrants tour that happened last January, in one of the accursed sand spit states of the middle east. It seemed to the Oracle of Ottawa that the wee minister suffered some kind of reaction to the food and / or the residents. Or perhaps it was ideological, when the minister finally learned the real reason for the trip. On being informed that there was to be a hunt for the next Messiah and something called the 'million dollar shot' the poor wee minister went into his swan dive swoon. There was a huge discussion at the 'Harper Government' cabinet table when the wee finance minister announced that it seemed that to him Canada had already found its Savoir, and the Prime Minister looked at him every day in Question Period! Not wanting to offend the Gods, the Oracle of Ottawa will not name the Promised One, but I am sure you will have no problem guessing on your own.

After hearing all the tough talk from the Conservative Bund, prior to budget, the  the Oracle of Ottawa was shocked at the absolute non event of the whole budget speech. The Oracle of Ottawa has never heard such a milquetoast barf of drivel in many a year. The Oracle of Ottawa has been assured that it rivals the days of R. B. Bennett. But the Oracles staff is still checking into that, at the time of this writing.

And then the hapless wee minister blew up on the media trot today, by stating that income splitting would not be the way to go in 2015, when the hoped for billions are slated to appear. And the Oracle of Ottawa was in full agreement with the minister on this one. Income splitting is regressive, in that it only serves the vested interests of the highest income earners. Yet the majority of Canadians are shocked that the core of the 'Harper Government' Bund is totally set on it. The Oracle of Ottawa has been given the answer to the problem Dear Reader. And you won't believe it! It seems that income splitting has been promised to the hard right Christian wack balls so that they could keep their wives from the Phillipines and other mail ordered third world countries at home and pregnant in the hope that one of them will give birth to the promised Messiah! You can't make this insanity up. Just ask Jason Kenny himself....

Then there is the small and rapidly growing problem of the Canada Job Grant, that the greasy fat monsters such as Jason Kennedy sells as the partnership of government and business to provide job training. The only problem with this is that on very close inspection, it comes to greatly resemble indentured labor! And hence of course it is not constitutional in Canada! No one is picking this up, yet, since it has been over one hundred years at least that we had indentured labor in Canada. But some young union lawyer will pick up on it and the Supreme Court challenges will soon be launched, effectively killing the monstrous low evil program. And no doubt one hopeful future Conservative leaders bid for front seat at the trough...

Sunday, February 9, 2014

The (Un)Fair Elections Act - Bring It On?!

Ever burned thickly the pyres of the dead.
Homer, The Iliad, Book I.52-53, Barry B. Powell translation

It was a week of spectacle here in Ottawa, as the erstwhile Minister of Democratic Reform in the personage of Pierre 'Trailer Park' Poilievre rolled out into the great hall on Parliament Hill with his his speaking points written in block letters, and a full seven days growth of facial pussy hair, as he introduced the 'Harper Government's new (Un)Fair Elections Act. At 246 pages to get to three, possibly four, minor changes one could only wonder in bewildered amusement what the punks in short pants at the Prime Ministers Office were up to this time.

Elections Canada - Future Staff...

As it rolled out into the ether of the news cycle here in Canada one could swear that the lads at Elections Canada were soon going to be wearing SS uniforms, and sporting funny facial hair. The head of Elections Canada and the Leader of the NDP went ballistic at the proposed changes. And to tell the truth Dear Reader, so did the Oracle of Ottawa. But for some reason The Liberal Party of Canada was somewhat strangely mute on the whole issue through out the week.  Then just before press time, it all became clear to the Oracle of Ottawa.

The present joke going about Ottawa at the time of this writing, for all the people in the know of such things, is as follows; Question; Why do the simplest bills by the 'Harper Government' require hundreds of pages? Answer: The contracted lawyers in India are paid by the word. Ho -Ho! The Oracle of Ottawa loves that one. You can't make this stuff up. The actual text is said to be contracted "out" and then screened by the remaining lawyers at the Department of Justice. In plain English that should be the actual contracted out legislation is checked by some back benchers brother in law that happened to be on the Conservative Party donors list. Not exactly the brightest bulb in the box, but never any surprises, and so eager to please the Masters.

As the week wore on still no indignation from the Liberal Party of Canada. Canada's Ruling Party. After a few hushed inquiries the Oracle of Ottawa got the dope. But don't tell anybody that you heard from the Oracle of Ottawa. As soon as the (Un)fair Election Act was released shortly after the initial announcement, several copies were soon on their way by courier to the lawyers of the Liberal Party of Canada. And as every one knows in Ottawa, the Liberal Party of Canada has the best and brightest minds in all of Canada. There are the elite of the legal profession. And Canada's elite are so much more gifted and intelligent then the rubes from Ducks Ass Alberta that are presently employed by the Manning Center in Calgary, natch.

Well it did not take long for the 246 pages of the "Thank You Very Much" legislation to be fed into the latest AI parser program and then through the most brilliant assembled minds to come to the shocking, but very expected discovery of several large unintended loop holes that are said to be large enough for a half dozen XL Pipelines and a dozen burning old DOT oil tanker cars to slide through with out any repercussion. The young Justin was informed of the news in less than 90 minutes after the announcement, and the most excellent twisting that the new legislation will be amendable to in the next general election... Young Justin Trudeau thanked the lads and is keeping a low profile on the topic in case the Conservatives change their minds.   

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Is Ben Heppner Finished?

Night has come. It is good to obey the night. 
Homer, The Ilaid, Book 7.286, Barry B. Powell Translation

At the time of this writing Ben Heppner is probably the most famous opera singer that Canada has ever produced. He has sung all over the world, and has performed darn near all the starring roles. He has won a ton of awards including seven honorary doctorates, and the highest level of the Order of Canada that a Canadian could possibly get. He also has an exclusive contract with Deutsche Grammophon, the poshest classical music label on Earth, and the oldest established surviving record label on Earth! All signs seem to point to a very successful career.

Don't ask me! I can't figure it out either...
 You would think that an opera singer with these bona fides would be constantly in the Gulfstream G650 winging his entourage from one great city to the next in an unabashed orgy of major earning power, like that old Italian guy did until he died, whose name at present and out of respect alludes the Oracle of Ottawa at the time of this writing. It seems that Ben Heppner has taken on a lesser job in the opinion of the Oracle of Ottawa.

On Saturday the Oracle of Ottawa does his coveted Saturday Routine, and while he his going from stop to stop, he has Saturday Afternoon At The Opera on the car radio. As of late the oracle of Ottawa is puzzled as to why and how someone like Ben Heppner is on the Oracles car radio as a mere host! Shouldn't I be hearing about Ben Heppner as he tours to packed recital halls, instead of hearing from him in a play by play from the deep subterranean basement studios of the CBC? What is up with that Dear Reader? What ever could be wrong with Ben Heppner?   

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Kathleen Wynne - Ontario Gets A Raise

The process of accumulation, once it is begun and carried through, is to the good of all subsequent generations.
John Rawls, A Theory Of Justice, p.288 

It was Thursday last that Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne announced the raising of Ontario's minimum wage to $11.00 per hour starting June first of this year, and to add salt to little Tim Hudaks wounds, it will be based on the inflation rate from now on. For the Ontario Conservatives this will be hard to fight, especially when they have right to work legislation promised in the platform.

Kathleen Wynne

As soon as the Oracle of Ottawa heard this little bomb shell on his local supper time vulgar old time media news he knew he would be in for a ton of entertainment when all the right wing, brain dead mouth breathers would soon be flooding the call in shows to express their total opposition to this pink communist announcement. But one did not even have to wait that long. Right away there were the usual hand to mouth entre-pren-whores screaming abject poverty of beginning to have to pay a living wage. All the while knowing that out back of the burger joint, there sits a brand new S class Benz sedan, with the V-12 no less, that has a garage in another McMansion some where in Barfhaven. The Oracle of Ottawa loved it.

As far as the Oracle of Ottawa is concerned he would just love to see every American franchised burger joint in Canada close. Wouldn't bother the Oracle a bit. It would free up the land and the people that were enslaved there to have a chance at something a bit more promising in the equal feast of Canadian society. The Oracle of Ottawa helps out as much as possible by never going near the greasy joints. And if you helped the Oracle of Ottawa Dear Reader, it would not be very long before they are all gone, bankrupt, every one. Simply because they cannot exist if you stop giving them money. Capitalism - nuttin' to it! Like Kevin O'leary always says, The Market Will Decide, i.e. you Dear Reader...