Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Can Ontario Win With Wynne?

We are through the looking glass now folks! Fuck me!
Malcolm Tucker, The Thick Of It

The first tangible benefit of Kathleen Wynne being Premier of Ontario is that Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto, will now have someone of the opposite sex to march with at Gay Pride this summer! Also the people of Ontario will have the comfort of knowing that the Premier designate will not have the usual personal pressure of worrying about someone cutting their grass as far as the "significant other" goes.

Kathleen Wynne...Oy vey!
 It goes without saying that Kathleen Wynne is not the prettiest bulb in the box, but as far as her "partner" goes, no one is going to make a move on that anytime soon. Holy shit! That poor bitch is the homliest thing in the history of Ontario. They may have to change the license plates in Ontario. The Oracle of Ottawa has just found some thing he would rather not discover...

The Oracle of Ottawa was very upset that that nice Gerard Kennedy lad folded like a deck chair on the Titanic! As the Oracle of Ottawa sees it, Gerard knows the writing is on the wall for the present Liberal government, and he decided that he would let the fiasco pass, and score the prize the next time out. All for several points of  future interest of course, like a cabinet post etc.

Now the question is, how long will the gay Premier last? Will she be smart enough to kick the corporate over-whores from the temple? Will she be astute enough to make a pass at Andrea Horwath  and reset some of the terrible Labour Law practices that have seeped into the Liberal house? If the meeting is productive, will she allow the clip to be posted to You Tube? Yes the Oracle of Ottawa thinks Andrea is super hot and pretty. Pretty enough, just like Dalton, to be Premier for a very long time...

Meanwhile Tim "Chain Gang" Hudak is all rather perplexed at the whole thing. Kathleen Wynne doesn't look very happy to him, let alone "gay". Ole Tim is still trying to figure out how any body that is Premier of Ontario could have such an ugly sister? The handlers, spin doctors, and fart catchers assorted have been engaged are presently working on the problem.....  

Meanwhile - back at Tory Headquarters....

Sunday, January 27, 2013

'Harper Government' - Just Follow The Crumbs...

There hope is in vain, their labors are unprofitable, and their works are useless.
Wisdom Of Solomon, 3:11, New Revised Standard Version,

You know it is the dying days of  a majority government, when coming back from the extended Christmas break is seen as more a relief than a chore. Anything, including, being fed on by the opposition, is better than standing by, back in the riding(s), as the grumbling keeps increasing from a drone to a roar. Who knew it would all come to this?

Resistance no longer futile?
 Even though Bill C-377 is all in and but done, it did not deter the awesome "steve" from digging into the slush fund of economic development and coming up with a few more ka'zillions for the union card carrying riff-raff! But the incredible haul and duty of wielding power is just like that, all in, at the end of the day. I mean really, just ask anyone at the Prime Ministers Office!

It was heart warming to the Oracle of Ottawa to hear of all the recent high quality Senate appointments made, oh so quietly, over the course of the Christmas break. The 'Harper Government' has turned the house of sober second thought into the house of sober second slobber! The Oracle of Ottawa rests assured that the great issues of the day can be met head on by a small town cheap nobody who's highest calling in life, (so far), has been to run a corner store!

It has occurred to the Oracle of Ottawa over the holidays, the reason why that the great "steve" does not want to attend any provincial premier meetings. What great prime minister wants to run the risk of the people of Canada finding out that the grandmothers are smarter than the man?

The Best and the Brightest?

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Three Hardest HR Questions

When human beings have finished, they are just beginning,
and when they stop, they are still perplexed.
Sirach, 18:7

The Oracle of Ottawa strongly believes that there are three professions that have no place in a modern Western Democracy. Marketers, spin doctors and human resources tools. They not only don't deserve to eat, they don't even deserve to be loved or respected in the least by anybody. And all the "good" practitioners live solitary, lonely lives from hell. Even afraid to go out in public, lest they run into someone that they have successfully fucked over in the past. And believe the Oracle of of Ottawa, some of them have a lot to fear from a lot of people. Whatever you do parents, keep your kids out of these low life professions!

Human Resources...
 Once upon a time, there was no such thing as "human resources"! It was called the personnel department. They picked the people to do the jobs. It was all so straight ahead, once upon a time...Today, just to get a crummy job, you have to jump through many hoops. It is not unusual to go through six or more interviews. And the HR thingies just seem to love asking impossible to answer questions. And you are right, they have nothing to do with finding the right person, but rather, as you have always suspected, they just love the sadistic pleasure of seeing you squirm!   

The Oracle of Ottawa has chosen the three hardest ones. With a near perfect answer. The Oracle of Ottawa, being generous to a fault, he will share his wisdom with you, in the hope that you will see the scum HR thingy squirm for you!

 Question: Tell me a little about yourself?
 Answer: I didn't provide a detailed and truthful resume for nothing. You have no doubt completed an internet search, credit check, drug test, criminal check, and the hours of detailed psych testing that I agreed to complete. You no doubt, at present, know more about me than I do! I was hoping that you could tell me something about myself...

Question: What do you think of when you are driving?
Answer: Getting there.

Question: Tell me about a time you failed?
Answer: All of life is winning a few and losing a lot. With every failure there emerges a hard learned new valuable piece of  knowledge that I lever into my life algorithm, which has resulted to the present level of my success...

 Scum like this, has no place in our society. Do not even try to appease them, slam them hard, and watch them squirm!! Remember; they can't run the organizations they pretend to serve by themselves.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Canada In the Age Of Foad

If one is mean to himself, to whom will he be generous?
Sirach, 14:5

So, how is that small g, lowercase, government working out for ya? Not so good eh? The Oracle of Ottawa warned you often and early in this very blog. Many are wondering where the shit fed spiral to the bottom will end. But the Oracle of Ottawa tried, Lord, he truly tried, to warn you. The "thinking about thinking" project continues. And the Oracle of Ottawa is way beyond the search for the lost American Dream, he is at the very vortex of the meaning of the life, universe and everything!

Welcome to the age of fuck off and die!(foad)...

The study of the great texts, in their unabridged form has provided the Oracle of Ottawa with deep enlightenment. Now the Oracle of Ottawa is pondering the mysteries of language. And problems such as if a lion could talk why we would not be able to understand him! Of course such deep insight has lead to the Oracle of Ottawa creating a new word for the English language! Not only a new word, but it is also an acronym and a euphemism, a word that is all three at the same time!

That word is foad. Pronounced Foe - Add or foed. Foad stands for Fuck Off And Die. Foad is just so much quicker to say, and it can be said and or communicated out loud without offending other less knowledgeable parties. The Oracle of Ottawa is quiet proud of it, especially in that it is such an early attempt.
Yes indeed, it is a foad world today. Especially lately in Canada, USA, and Great Britain. It is essentially what our elected governments say to us all the time lately.  For example, when the 'Harper Government' passed legislation recently that raised the retirement age from 65 to 67, even though they could have lowered  the retirement age from 65 to 63, that is your government saying foad.

This of course extends to all levels of government lately. In the week past, the Oracle of Ottawa was appalled to learn from the vulgar media suppertime news that many residents in Ottawa Public Housing have been with out hot water for months, well that is your municipal government telling you; foad! Although the most vulnerable people in my patch are doing without hot water in the depths of winter, we are still going to some how shit in our own nest by bringing a state of the art gaming house to downtown Ottawa! And since the tenants in Ottawa Public Housing don't have hot water to do their laundry with, whole towers are being now carted away by the bed bugs! Foad. Hot water for the peasants is a mere luxury. But the City of Ottawa has recently signed off on the 2.1 billion dollar four engine trolley way. Yes you have been foed....  

The crossest man in Scotland; Jamie McDonald lives the meme of foad, and coins another new word that the Oracle of Ottawa wishes he had coined. Castastra - fuck! Now that is the perfect word for our times. (4:18)
Enjoy! (And yes he really did study to be a Jesuit in real life!) For all the people in North America you can check the meaning of the word hod here....

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Other Montreal

The Eye sees more than the Heart knows.
William Blake, VISIONS of the Daughters of Albion

In the ever on going "thinking about thinking" project, the Oracle of Ottawa continues to discover new and very weird things. Being a Canadian the Oracle of Ottawa was raised and steeped in his elementary Canadian history. One of those facts being that there is and has only been one Montreal. Founded in 1642.  It is located in the province of Quebec, and is the largest French speaking city in North America. The second largest French speaking city in the world next to Paris, France.   

The "other" Montreal...

Imagine the Oracle's surprise while reading "Empires of the Word - A Language History of the World" by Nicholas Ostler, when on page 408, there is a map that contains a settlement named Montreal, that is presently located in Shoubak, Jordan!  This Montreal was founded and built in 1115! That is over five hundred years earlier than the founding of the Montreal that we all know of today.

The Montreal Crusader castle was built by King Baldwin I of Jerusalem and yes, ole King Baldwin, was French. And as per French settlements named Montreal, the other Montreal was built on top of a high hill. Of course all that remains today is the ruins. But once a upon a time there would have been the castle and a huge community located around it. The outpost stayed in French hands until 1189. Until it fell to the other guys.

The lesson of the story is that you are seldom taught the real story in school about anything. And that building settlements in far off lands on a persistent basis is what makes a language live forever. French is in the top twenty languages in use today. Well actually the top ten. And as far as the Oracle of Ottawa is concerned French is one of the "Big Four" languages. In the Oracle's world the only languages that matter are English, French, German and Spanish. Speaking one or more of these languages, and the world is your oyster.

The "other Montreal"!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Lost City of Ani

All along the watchtower, princess kept the view,
While all the women came and went; barefoot servants too...
Bob Dylan, All Along The Watchtower, 1967

On a barren plain, on a most north eastern point of present day Turkey, lie the ruins of the lost city of Ani. It fell for the last time sometime around 1064 A.D. It was a strongly fortified, yet cosmopolitan city of over 200,000 people. It was known in ancient chronicles as the city of forty gates and one thousand and one church's! It was no doubt its position on the Silk Road, that was the source of its wealth.  Even though it was strongly fortified it was intellectually an open city for many century's. Along with all the Christian church's there are still remains of a Mosque and a fire temple of uncertain origin. Since big business was going on it would be very interesting to research how many Jewish temples were within the city walls. It is interesting to note that Ani in Hebrew means "I am"! (Right?)

Church of The Mother of God  - Ani...
 The Oracle of Ottawa was shocked that he had never heard of this city and its imperial story! It was recently featured on the front daily page of  Wikipedia sometime over the Christmas holidays last. The Oracle of Ottawa knows for certain that Gibbon did not mention it in The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire! And the Oracle of Ottawa read the whole work and it is quiet surprising that Edward Gibbon missed that awesome story!

If you Google it there is a ton about  the great lost city. There are also some very haunting present day videos that have been shot by recent tourists and posted to You-Tube! Yet it does not turn up in any of my reference books that I keep a large store of in the fortified bunker! And the more you watch those modern video captures, the more you will become entranced by the magic of Ani.

Inside the ruins of Saint Gregory's...
The Oracle of Ottawa can't stop imagining the great caravans of animals that must have stopped and rested in Ani. They would be as long as the eye could see. Easily over one thousand animals under load, not counting the extensive outriders that such a high value load of goods would require. All this over a thousand years ago! It simply boogles the modern mind! And although the Oracle of Ottawa has lived for over a half century this is the first that I have ever heard about it. There is also an extensive cave network in the confines of the lost city, could there be lost works or even original manuscripts hidden away from the sackers and looters? Ani, the city of forty gates and a thousand and one churches....

The magic of the Lost City of Ani! Perhaps a future UNESCO World Heritage site? What a haunting story...

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Frack 'Dis!

3.Energy is Eternal Delight
William Blake, The Marriage Of Heaven And Hell, Plate 4

The Oracle of Ottawa has been hearing a lot of late all about that nasty gas frackking! It all seemed to really get going over the past Holiday season, with the release of that new Hollywood movie that is making the subject the next great social cause celebre! It seems that all the activity is going on in the Bakken Formation which is about the size of freaking France and straddles two countries, United States and Canada. From all the spin you would think Saudi Arabia fell through the Earth and appeared in Montana! How much oil is really down there and recoverable varies widely.

 But all the Oracle of Ottawa can tell you is, before you load up that U-Haul, think it all out. The Oracle of Ottawa regrets to inform all the oil tycoons who are convinced that this is going to last long enough to really and finally get theirs, are alas, probably sadly mistaken yet again. The Oracle of Ottawa predicts that the life of the Bakken and other locked gas formations have about the same life and future as thee Alberta tar sands. Maybe another ten years tops. Again it is all about Moore's Law. Moore's Law works in the oil patch just as good as it works on computer chips! I mean, who knew? What the Oracle of Ottawa is trying to tell you is that energy generation technology is getting ready to drop some serious break through'.

Some times the Oracle of Ottawa himself has a hard time picturing what the effect will be of $40 oil or less! But the vision of those multi billion dollar upgraders in the Alberta tar sands lying cold and dead being grown over by wild forests, yet still unpaid for, and with no hope of ever being paid for is a very recurrent vision of the Oracle of Ottawa. Remember, the Oracle of Ottawa tried to save you...

Now all this oil field insanity is even touching the Oracle of Ottawa! Why over the holidays the Oracle of Ottawa had much discussion with a distant brother in law that is discovering the economic Nirvanna of the Bakken Formation, since he has started catching the 'Calgary Flyer' for a certain oil field services company. And as the Oracle of Ottawa listened carefully, he made a cold mental note that there will be certainly one funeral that will be attended way before its time... But what is the Oracle of Ottawa to do, A lot of youngsters really believe that a dollar in your hand today is more now than in the future...  

Watch and learn, and think it all out if your smart enough to do so....

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

CBC Dragon's Den - How To Suck Satan's Cock

What is now proved was once, only imagin'd.
William Blake, The Marriage Of heaven And Hell, Line 33

While watching The Royal Canadian Air Farce New Years Eve Special, the Oracle of Ottawa heard a comment in a skit, that, to the Oracle of Ottawa, was possibly a very good sign of a coming very good year indeed. The comment was made by the Great Canadian Mary Walsh, in the Newfoundland mother and son sketch. It was a great shot against the ever greasy Kevin O'Leary, and how he was killing the CBC, or some such words to that effect. Why the Oracle of Ottawa damn near choked on his double rum toddy!

Suck Satan's cock....
  Now all the frequent flyers of this blog already know that the Oracle of Ottawa is not, nor has he ever been a fan of such shining media black lights. But the show that Kevin O'Leary makes the most obnoxious is the spot he plays on Dragon's Den! Is there really an audience of Canadians that get off on this? Is this the traditional Canadian pass time, to watch gullible people getting crushed by a bunch of zeros? The Oracle of Ottawa knows there is no hockey, but really? Is this now the Canadian way? The Oracle of Ottawa realizes that all that young Canadians have to look forward to is less, but holy shit, where is the bottom of the corporate whore hole, really?

The Oracle of Ottawa did just a little digging and discovered that Dragon's Den is a Japanese franchise show, property of Sony Corporation! Now the Oracle of Ottawa understands most everything. And especially how the likes of Kevin O'Leary could possibly find something that he could look, at moments, like a genius. The whole format of bowing and ass kissing is totally understandable coming from Japan! The country of the mediocre "company man". Any real problems come up, just kick the can down the road, you know, the way they handled the melt down of their corporate nuclear reactors. The Oracle of Ottawa is sure that will be a shinning example of management acumen in business schools all over the planet Earth! Won't it?

And the Oracle of Ottawa still believes that Canadian entre-pren - whores are of a totally different class than your average bowing and ass kissing ricer! The Oracle of Ottawa has known a few entre-pren-whores in his time. And the Oracle of Ottawa has even been told the secret of entre-pren-whore ship! Always finance your own deals! You never give away equity in your business to anybody! And over the years, the Oracle of Ottawa has learned that entre-pren-whores are like cops and undertakers. You would never invite them to your house or ever be seen in their company. But a good society needs cops and undertakers just as much as we need to suffer the insanity and other mental kinks of entre-pre-whores. It is all pretty weird, but society and the world is really just a big balancing act at the end of the day.

The Oracle of Ottawa often wonders what the outcome of the world would have been if, say, Henry Ford or John D. Rockefellor had to go hat in hand to the likes of Kevin O'Leary and the other dirt bags of the Canadian Dragon's Den for start up capital of their visionary dreams?  What would the world be like today? Yeah, your right, we would all still be walking...

 The great comedian Bill Hicks explains the sucking of Satan's cock....