Sunday, February 9, 2014

The (Un)Fair Elections Act - Bring It On?!

Ever burned thickly the pyres of the dead.
Homer, The Iliad, Book I.52-53, Barry B. Powell translation

It was a week of spectacle here in Ottawa, as the erstwhile Minister of Democratic Reform in the personage of Pierre 'Trailer Park' Poilievre rolled out into the great hall on Parliament Hill with his his speaking points written in block letters, and a full seven days growth of facial pussy hair, as he introduced the 'Harper Government's new (Un)Fair Elections Act. At 246 pages to get to three, possibly four, minor changes one could only wonder in bewildered amusement what the punks in short pants at the Prime Ministers Office were up to this time.

Elections Canada - Future Staff...

As it rolled out into the ether of the news cycle here in Canada one could swear that the lads at Elections Canada were soon going to be wearing SS uniforms, and sporting funny facial hair. The head of Elections Canada and the Leader of the NDP went ballistic at the proposed changes. And to tell the truth Dear Reader, so did the Oracle of Ottawa. But for some reason The Liberal Party of Canada was somewhat strangely mute on the whole issue through out the week.  Then just before press time, it all became clear to the Oracle of Ottawa.

The present joke going about Ottawa at the time of this writing, for all the people in the know of such things, is as follows; Question; Why do the simplest bills by the 'Harper Government' require hundreds of pages? Answer: The contracted lawyers in India are paid by the word. Ho -Ho! The Oracle of Ottawa loves that one. You can't make this stuff up. The actual text is said to be contracted "out" and then screened by the remaining lawyers at the Department of Justice. In plain English that should be the actual contracted out legislation is checked by some back benchers brother in law that happened to be on the Conservative Party donors list. Not exactly the brightest bulb in the box, but never any surprises, and so eager to please the Masters.

As the week wore on still no indignation from the Liberal Party of Canada. Canada's Ruling Party. After a few hushed inquiries the Oracle of Ottawa got the dope. But don't tell anybody that you heard from the Oracle of Ottawa. As soon as the (Un)fair Election Act was released shortly after the initial announcement, several copies were soon on their way by courier to the lawyers of the Liberal Party of Canada. And as every one knows in Ottawa, the Liberal Party of Canada has the best and brightest minds in all of Canada. There are the elite of the legal profession. And Canada's elite are so much more gifted and intelligent then the rubes from Ducks Ass Alberta that are presently employed by the Manning Center in Calgary, natch.

Well it did not take long for the 246 pages of the "Thank You Very Much" legislation to be fed into the latest AI parser program and then through the most brilliant assembled minds to come to the shocking, but very expected discovery of several large unintended loop holes that are said to be large enough for a half dozen XL Pipelines and a dozen burning old DOT oil tanker cars to slide through with out any repercussion. The young Justin was informed of the news in less than 90 minutes after the announcement, and the most excellent twisting that the new legislation will be amendable to in the next general election... Young Justin Trudeau thanked the lads and is keeping a low profile on the topic in case the Conservatives change their minds.   

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