Kim Jong-un Death Wish - Some Thoughts

The teachers function is to help create the structure of the subject in the student's mind.
Northrop Frye, On Education, p.13

Well, here we are, Ole Kim Jong-un the head hermit of the hermit kingdom, has moved a missile south and is now in the process of fueling it. So what is the big deal? If he fires it, it won't even get to stage two. With the presence of a hulking Ticonderoga  cruiser, with the latest  RIM 161-SM-3's on board, nothing will get past. The Yanks use these missiles to shoot down satellites in space! And again at Mach 8.0!! it will not take long to catch a hulking multistage missile at launch. Then there is that ever present carrier group and that is on station, and that lurking Ohio Class boomer boat. Our little friend Kim Jong-un is whooped before he even starts.

RIM - 161 - Can you hear me now Kim?

What is really bugging the Oracle of Ottawa is all the misinformation that has surrounded the recent antics of the hermit kingdom of late. The Oracle of Ottawa simply does not believe that the hermits of the hermit kingdom even have a nuclear weapon. The so called first detonation only measured a crummy 5 kilotons in yield, and was an underground detonation. Any one who knows anything about nuclear weapons knows that it is much harder to make a small atomic weapon then it is to make a large one. The idea and basic theory is easy, but it takes a super power to actually do it, or to make some one appear to have done it. If you catch the Oracles drift.

Ohio Class SSBN - Wait for it...

What the Oracle of Ottawa strongly suspects is that the hermits of the hermit kingdom simply filled an old underground bunker with all their past date ordinance and threw in some old nuclear medical waste, along with some ammonia fertilizer and old diesel fuel, and lit the sucker off. Look we did a A-bomb! Well the Oracle of Ottawa didn't buy it from second one. This was the greatest spin jerk of the century so far..You and I dear reader are closer to getting an atomic weapon the the hermits of the hermit kingdom.

And what does this present situation say about the peasant Chinese of the Peasants Republic of China? Think it out people, they are putting up with this nutter threatening nuclear war right on their own doorstep! Does this all add up to you? The Oracle of Ottawa firmly believes that the Chinese are getting all Sun Tzu with the situation, thinking that us gajuns in the West are buying their crap. Yes sir Bubba, the Chines have a dog or two in this piss up. And they better watch out in case we the stupid gajuns start figuring it out...

On The Peasants Republic Of China

Will a man rob God?
Malachi, Chapter 3, Verse 8, Line 1, (NKJV)

Well, She Wrong is long gone. According to the Globe & Mail she bailed to a Chinese aircraft in the dead of night sometime last Tuesday. Back to visit her "husband" (i.e. controller) for a debrief, or rather a vacation...If the Canadian public only knew how far up the Conservatives colon these peasants really are there would be people in the streets. And no doubt sometime in the near future there will be. The Oracle of Ottawa can assure his dear readers that this will keep going off ever louder and more intense until the back benchers unaffected by the "ricer" malady start crossing the floor to sit with the Liberals and the NDP!

She Wrong - Pulling cultural rehab...

All is not going to unfold as planned by the Prime Ministers Office, believe me! There is going to be that very embarrassing revelation of the height of that China town "gateway" when it is discovered that it is slightly higher than the Canadian War Memorial! Someone did take the time to measure, didn't they? Which bungling minister allowed this to happen? Oh my! Really? Then there will be no doubt some sharp little NDP bunny that will actually do the research into the International Law of the implications of said monstrosity gate way. If you have your text of Grotius handy you might want to start flipping through it...

As the Oracle of Ottawa suspected out loud in an earlier post, She Wrongs husband is back in China. And no doubt gives less than a roaches ass of what his now old lady is up to at the Golden Mountain. A a matter of fact he is probably pissed that his free time on the town as nearly single is over for a little while! That is one marriage license that we will no doubt ever get to see. What do you think?

Another wrench to soon fall in the gear box....

As the Oracle of Ottawa has lamented in past posts, he is constantly miffed by all the bullshit in the media that China is going to rule the world! The Shen Yun thingies are at my local mall again, flogging me this show which I find really annoying. If it was so good, they wouldn't have to give the tickets away in malls! I still believe that it is all a PRC cultural propaganda ploy. It is in reality a total fail and a royal waste of every ones time.Perhaps one should read the old fashioned Chinese warriors for some understanding of how the future will soon unfold...

The actual reality in mainland peasant ville is that the old guard party members can hardly keep there Depends dry. Reports from the Middle East have them in an utter panic. That nightmare of the peasants rising up and hanging said old party hacks off of light standards in the street is frequently recurring...Picture an old Chinese guy driving on the Freeway for the first time! Yes that is pretty dangerous.

The 'Harper Government' Goes Dim Some

It began in images and it ended in symbolism.
B. W. Powe, Mystic Trudeau - The Fire And The Rose, p. 160

It was all over before the "user" pressed "Send-All." This situation is as ugly as watching a family of Chinese peasants eating noodles with sticks in their kitchen! We can all surmise with confidence exceeding 95%, nineteen times out of twenty, that that nice Richard Fadden man was not blowing smoke from his bung hole after all! The only thing that has the Oracle of Ottawa in a tizzy is that ole Bob Dechert went for such an ugly mutt! But the Oracle of Ottawa knows that all the prime Chinese ass is being dedicated to the very important Ottawa subway contract! If you have anything to do with that, you can get a shot at the prime booty...other wise you will have to wait your turn for well, more homely booty...

Who the Hell is really driving??

Mr. Dechert, according to the Globe & Mail Saturday September 10, 2011, met the said homely peasant, Shi Rong (She Wrong...) while doing "Chinese media-language communications(?)" Can you imagine the questions at the Senate Hearing into the matter? Mr. Dechert, did you discover that there is a Chinese character for the letter "Y" in the Chinese language, and further more, did you eat of the fruit there of?

These Chinese are sooo twisted...Just like Tories!

Meanwhile at home, poor Ruth is practicing the cheek puff-up, but Bob declares that it just isn't the same.. But Ruth responds that She Wrong doesn't have to do it with a PVC gas mask on with hand-cuffs... Fair enough!! No doubt legal advice is being sought for those aggrieved. The only time the Oracle of Ottawa signed a letter or E-mail; Love The Oracle of Ottawa, I was most certainly doing the bitch!! And the pathology of Ole Bob getting off on the cheek puff up thing smacks of sentinent asphyxia issues... But what do expect from Tories?

Again, I say this man is super right! And this recent incident proves it to this 'umble blogger! My tax dollars well spent! Now in closing...do really think She Wrongs ex-husband hacked her e-mail account? He is no doubt back in China with a head full of three penis wine and a teenager in brides maid dress, relieved  never to have to gaze upon the homely visage of She Wrong ever again.  The Oracle of Ottawa strongly suspects that CSIS has many strange and frightening ways to say; "Can You Hear Me Now??" Tory back benchers should take note...

On The Fat Cats Of Ottawa

It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy, (film)

It is one of the most common myths in Canada that Ottawa is the home of fat cats. As per all rumors propagated by the Conservative Party of Canada this fact is grossly exaggerated! For all the peoples that have lived in the Ottawa area who descend back to the time before Ottawa replaced Bytown, having a fat cat in the house was considered a tactful display and sign of prosperity and benevolence. There is nothing like a fat happy cat in a home. Why would anyone resent that?

Junior says "I am not fat, just big boned..."

 Many fat cats are very deceiving due just to the first conclusion and observation by guests and strangers. The biggest misconception is that all fat cats are sickly and soft. If the said fat cat is a country cat, just outside of the modern City Limits, this is usually the first fatal error! Reality and the pet test will soon confirm that many fat cats are in fact as hard as a steel utility pole! And that everything beyond the diet kibbles was caught by the said fat cat with his own skills and feline expertise! Many rural residents report that after "dinner" there fat cats always want to go out to the nearest field to get the remaining five courses!

Junior says "The dog and the tory's can eat later..."

Another depressing popular misconception is that all fat cats are micro-controlling rage heads that are never for a moment at peace with the world or themselves. These fat cats would like to dispel that myth by reminding all peoples from outside Ottawa that not all cats are resident of 24 Sussex Drive. Please update your Rolodex!

Junior says "I know how to live..."

The most fatal mistake that a stranger can make is holding the stereotype that all fat cats are sluggish, slow and stupid. Fat cats greatly resent this. You don't get chewed up by Kingfishers and Badgers on a regular basis due to the fact that you are trying to rip their dinner off by being sluggish, slow and stupid. An amazing amount of fat cats have incredible speed.... Be careful.

Junior says "I,m  WHAT...??!!"

So for all you newbies that are just passing through the fair city of Ottawa getting your little corporate whore career card stamped on your pathetic road to oblivion, beware of making the wrong conclusions in any dealings with the fat cats of Ottawa!

Here is a tune that all cats can enjoy.....

Memo from The Society Desk

It's amazing how much you can get away with if you don't go out of your way to cause trouble...
Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway, Letter to Dale, July 06, 1976, p. 628

Well it started out like any other day. Saint Valentines Day is coming and my " significant other "  being very French expects a trip out for dinner. And she also expects at least a card, even if it is hand made with Crayolla crayons! After a nearly quarter century, you learn not to argue!  To beat the insane rush of the actual day I have found over the years that the day before is perfectly acceptable. (Sunday February 13 2011)  So it was off to the Mandarin Restaurant on 1137 Ogilvie Road. One of the best Chinese eatery's in the City of Ottawa. The parking lot was empty when we arrived. Most excellent! I am a genius! We were seated, and it was the usual crowd mix.

The gift of Globalization....

Coffee was quick to come, and the order was in. Ah, a nice quiet evening of most excellent eating.... Then they started coming! (17:45) A half dozen to a dozen at a time! Damn! A bus load! The Chinese Lutherans for Jesus! It really screws up the kitchen. and the rice quality can be affected as they water it down if they see they are, or may possibly run out. Damn I hate that!

I asked the waitress what the hell was going on? She replied; " private function in dining room, Canada - China Friendship Society". Then it all started getting really weird! There were the Gajun old white guys in there Imperial Dragon silk shirts! Then the Chinese guys dressed like characters in a Chinese Opera! Then when the comely Chinese honey's in the long silk faux imperial gowns with the side slit up to their arse I figured something really weird is on here! Complete with do-me heels, oozing whatever...complete with huggies! The old gajuns with advanced ricer obsession were coming back for seconds and thirds! There is nothing as disgusting to watch as a an old gajun with advanced ricer obsession! Like a head on an ether binge....

Hug me again, one more time!

Then just as I thought I was going to be consumed by the vortex of the contemporary Canadian Dream, the exhaust fan gave out in the kitchen! Filling the place with invisible  Imperial Royal Duck smoke! They caught it in time.. And the Haz-mat unit was not called...

Just when I thought this couldn't get any weirder, in walks Gentleman Jim Watson !? Then outcomes this simply stunning true petite honey in the most bitching red silk outfit I have ever seen (so far...). She assumed station, I mean never more than nine feet away like a magnet! Then I realized that there were a whole bunch of minor notables, and a great selection of fart catching want-to-bees. The optics of all this was not good. Where was the old style media? Where was this elected officials entourage? But who was that official looking Chinese guy in the dining room? Complete with the big haired protocol thingy... Some what familiar looking. I had a hunch but I had to wait till I got home to check it out...  

Next!

Then came the white rich middle aged women, way over dressed and trying way too hard! That is pathetic to see also folks... Meanwhile at a table near mine were the classic pimp and Ho combination... all Chinese ... Hmmm.... Then the Bar Haven "want a be" set came in their nike running shoes and Blackberry's I guess hoping for crumbs of business off of the Great Yellow Table.... (Bar Haven types couldn't find China on a map with a tutor!)

My fortune cookie was really different; "You may attend a party where strange customs prevail" No shit!

Latter arriving at home I checked Google and identified the very official Chinese guy...Are you sitting down? Zhang Junsai, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to Canada! Although all Chinese look the same to me, the tier 1 guys sort of really stand out....Of course I could be totally mistaken and the victim of incredible coincidences...of likenesses...Ya right, that's it....

After what I may have witnessed tonight, I have a much greater respect for this man. Perhaps you should to!
Richard Fadden must have balls as big as bridge nuts! What guts!

Letter to Hu Jintao

Woman who sleeps with lemon douche, wakes up with sour puss!
Confucius, Unsourced.

Dear Hu:

Received your last by your embassy courier. The guy looked real worn out Hu! Holy smokes man! How long a day do you work these poor people? I know you have that nasty employee compound down by the City of Ottawa snowplow garage near the freeway.. Nasty business.. Just wondering... do you block the internet there to? Just curious.

Sorry Hu, No Three Penis wine...

I know how you hate these gajun tours. We are so uncivilized... But I will answer as many of your questions as I can. First; Hillary was not winking at you Hu! She was winking at Mrs. Hu, your fly was down...Sorry Mate.. But Mrs. Hu assured Hillary that whether your fly was down or up wouldn't make any difference...
Glad you found dinner acceptable, sorry about all that premium California and French wine... I know you prefer a warm bottle of Three Penis wine after a hard day... Marketing my friend... And I am truly sorry that for all the time in the great U.S.A. you never saw one hot gajun teenager in a brides maid dress. I know, no hospitality at all for the future masters of Earth... Our bad...

Lots of heat here in the degenerate imperialist media about your treatment of that poor translator. Well I checked it out with a few reliable sources, and well, er,, are sitting down Hu? I will tell you. You see your translator escaped curfew, and well, she had a Hell of a night on the town! My sources tell me that she rode that African American Marine like a Dragoons head  at Chinese New Years! Note that the smile wouldn't come off her face? I know; very un Chinese!! Oh be nice Hu! Everyone should have a souvenir!

Now Hu it just isn't true! The gajun hotties don't think your gross and unattractive.. And it isn't because of your weird eyes! If I had my head up my ass for four thousand years even my eyes would look funny! Give it time my friend.. And be nice! Benevolence really pays off with the gajuns...

In closing Hu may I have a favor? I mean I have been perfectly frank and pulled in a lot of favors to answer your questions truthfully.. Okay? Right! Thanks! Could you get those poor embassy employees out of my local shopping malls? You know the ones in the big Chinese Confucius propaganda push? You know the Chinese Opera ticket give away? To us its like listening to an ethered canary on helium! Hu? Are you there? Hu? Hu?
                                                                                                                     Your Snowflake gajun;
                                                                                                                         Oracleofottawa....