Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus, 2.203
The Oracle of Ottawa feels compelled to provide the important public service of warning away anyone that is contemplating coming to Ottawa, Canada for Canada Day 2013. In years distant past, Canada Day was the one premier event of the Ottawa social summer season. It was then run by the National Capital Commission. It was one of their major events, and they usually put the whole year before hand into it. It was also the time of the Canadian Just Society, security and propaganda of all kinds were kept to the bear minimum.
|Welcome to Harperland 2013!!|
Now the Oracle of Ottawa feels it is his duty to warn the public that there will be several very important changes in Canada Day 2013. The major change is that it is now being run by the Department of Canadian Heritage, or in plain English, by a big disgusting fat pig by the name of James Moore, presently the Minister of Canadian Heritage. Yes Dear Reader, Canada Day has been commandeered by the 'Harper Government' for the soul purpose of celebrating the accomplishments of the Fascist State. With many demonstrations of the 'Harper Government' and free market capitalism. There is a rumor that the finale is going to contain a 3-D hologram show of Maggie Thatcher, in respectful memory, just before the fireworks, can hardly wait can ya?
Somehow the eternally cheap 'Harper Government' has somehow coughed up the money for the possible appearance of Carly Rae Jepson. Whoever she is? And didn't she do Canada Day in 2010? Anyway there is also a very long list of other garbage you never heard of before. There simply is no one on the A list that wants to be anywhere near the 'Harper Government' in any respect. And of course since this is a 'Harper Government' project there must be the sickening appearances of "victims". James Moore went all out on this one, no doubt at the behest of the Prime Ministers Office, and has arranged for the eternally sickening Chris Hadfield to conduct a few experiments for the kiddies, and the second rate playing of his space cadet song. And to make it all an absolute barf fest, the show is going to be hosted by Helene Campbell, of Barfhaven!
Sweet Jesus Sweetheart! The lungs were free. This Canada Day you should be out a nice cottage somewhere on the Quebec side sitting on some young lads face for at least the whole of Canada Day, now that you got the wind for it and all. And perhaps you should see how long you can hold your breath with a somewhat constricted throat. In other words you should be out enjoying your life, since even Senator Mike Duffy has more talent than you.
For all you "out of towners" the Oracle of Ottawa must share a few tips of warning. Such as; there is no more free parking anywhere in downtown Ottawa. The City has been ordered by the 'Harper Government' to implement Demand Price parking. And of course on Canada day there is a lot of demand for parking, you are on your own. Also be very careful what you bring and what you are carrying on your person. The person on your left and on your right is going to be either a cop or a corporate security guard. There will be many opportunities for you discover all the wonders of the Canada (In)Action Plan. The koisks are going to be less than 100 feet apart on Wellington, Bank and the Sparks Street Mall. Come to Ottawa and party with the crooks and skidmarks of the 'Harper Government'. Enjoy!!