Sunday, March 31, 2013

Is Kim Jong-un Really Driving?

The seventh angel poured his bowl into the air,and a loud voice came out of the temple, from the throne, saying "It is done!"
Revelation, 16:17, NRSV

Well! Here it is Easter Sunday night, and North Korea has totally fallen out of the vulgar old style television news rotation. No detected launches, no screaming hordes of hermits from the Hermit Kingdom pouring over the border, hurrying to the main objective of the first video arcade that could be captured in South Korea. Why it is so quiet that the Oracle of Ottawa suspects that all the lads and ladies aboard the on station Ohio class submarine more than likely got in the full standard sit down Easter dinner after all.

Ohio Class - Your tax dollars at work...

All the recent events really had the Oracle of Ottawa going for a while. But alas, the appearance, or lack there of, on radar, of that huge flight of B-2 bombers no doubt had the desired effect. Not to mention the many very weird reports from the countryside, so far unconfirmed, of those huge low flying whirring insects that have never been seen before. Perhaps the youngster Kim Jong-un has finally realized that the guys at the United Nations were really serious this time, and the X-Box upgrades will surely be a long time in coming.


It was the footage of Kim  Jong-un that was on one of the old style vulgar media news castes that really made the Oracle of Ottawa nervous earlier in the week. From reading the face and the expressions, not to mention the body language of Kim Jon-un, it appeared to the Oracle of Ottawa that the little man was doing what he was told. He didn't look to the Oracle as if he was really in charge. It all rather appeared to the Oracle, from where he was observing, that the old hardliners had totally taken control of their young charge.


But all in, you have to give the hermits of the Hermit Kingdom an E for effort. It takes a lot of balls or really good and hi grade drugs to start threatening the United States of America with a nuclear missile strike! Now getting past that, these people know that there is an American boomer SSBN nuclear powered submarine out there somewhere that could take out every city in North Korea, not just once, but at least twice, depending which boat is on station. Perhaps the hermits of the Hermit Kingdom, were hoping to get into the parking lot business? The glowing green glass type. 

Saturday, March 30, 2013

City of Ottawa - Demand Price Parking

"do not lift your horn on high, or speak with insolent neck."
Psalms, 75:5, NRSV

The Oracle of Ottawa was quite surprised today to discover that his usual Saturday routine parking spot downtown at the City owned Laurier garage has been turned into an automated billing, no person present, paid parking garage, even on Saturday! Well, the Oracle of Ottawa had to make a decision. And he threw it into reverse and headed elsewhere.

Heads will someday roll?

There has been much in the old style local vulgar visual and print media lately about another new insane idea of the City of Ottawa to bring in demand price parking. This simply means taking the opportunity to gouge your worthless ass because some skid mark contractor has managed to bullshit (bribe?) it by some hapless City manager.

The Oracle of Ottawa is always ready to be a good citizen and be as helpful as he can be. As regards to downtown demand price parking, you have to include a numerical value for demand. Please allow the oracle of Ottawa to help the worthy skidmarks at City Hall with a starting value for down town parking demand. Set the value to ZERO! Because it dawned on the Oracle of Ottawa that he really doesn't have to be downtown at all! Ottawa is a big city now, and the downtown can be easily skipped.

If you happen to be some poor hapless "entre-pren-whore" who is trying hard now to eek out a minimum wage living from a bar, grill or other eating spot, and you have your lease coming due, take the Oracle of Ottawa's advice and do not renew it. This is all going to backfire so bad, that, soon, the only thing that will be rolling down Bank Street are skateboards, bicycles and tumbleweeds!!


If you thought the earth moved on that day councilor, just wait until the next election...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

'Harper Government' - Making The Trudeau Way Clear

The hungry eat their harvest,and they take it even out of the thorns; and the thirsty pant after their wealth.
Job, 5:5, NRSV

The Oracle of Ottawa has observed with wondrous Prophetic irony, that the day that the 'Harper Government' has announced that it is withdrawing from the United Nations Convention to Combat Dessertification , the Liberal Party Leadership ballots are being received by the Liberal Party faithful. Life is so weird, you just can't make this stuff up. The 'Harper Government' claims that Canada can no longer afford the annual cost of the astronomical sum of $323,000 to be part of this most important United nations Convention.

Fuck'em - Says the 'Harper Government'
 Yesterday, there were 194 nation states signed on as members to this convention. That is most every nation state on Earth at the present time of this writing. Today there is 193 nation states as members of this convention. Canada has decided that it is much more economical to pocket the chump change and become friends with the posh nonmember states of Iraq and Montenegro! Meanwhile there is no doubt much head scratching and utter amazement in government offices all over the world. Whatever could be the real cause of this salient behavior?

Justin Trudeau - cumming soon

Well, the Oracle of Ottawa has the answer. It seems that panic has set in at the Prime Ministers Office, as the latest poll numbers come in. The 'Harper Government' has fallen way out of majority territory, and the fall is steadily increasing. The Liberal Party Leadership Convention is on April 14, 2013. It appears that it is going to be a coronation for the young Justin Trudeau in the first ballot. But when you descend from political royalty, a coronation is only natural. The Prime Minister and cabinet of the 'Harper Government' know that it is all but in and done, over for another half century at least. The desperate panic has set in at the highest levels. 

It is also amazing to discover that many voices from the seat of Conservative power out in Western Canada, are reminding the 'Harper Government' that there is quiet a large patch of what could be called at a lot of times "desert", inside the confines of the borders of Canada. Ooops!! The 'Harper Government' is starting to act like the mortally wounded jackal that knows it is soon to finished off and put out of its misery.


This will no doubt be aided and abetted by the knuckle draggers of the 'Harper Government' back benches. They are starting to rise up, determined to legislate the banishment of abortion on demand, and the foundation of the national Canadian baby wax candle search! The turning point has been reached for sure and certain. It will really start to pick up and become very ugly after April 14, 2013....


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Rob Ford - Rehab, No, No, No?

I am not so old and cowardly as not to be young in reason on behalf of piety.
4 Maccabees, 5:31, NRSV

Well dear reader, I am sure you have seen tonight's video of his eminence Rob Ford on the CBC National News, yet again. Today's outburst concerned the density challenged mayor of Toronto's reaction to a rather not too flattering story in today's Toronto Star newspaper. A rather scurrilous article that reported that one said mayor was asked to leave a certain military social function. Due to the apparent condition that the said mayor allegedly appeared to be in at the time.

Rob Ford - Time running out?
 It struck the Oracle of Ottawa that the mayor was sweating rather more profusely than usual, which is a whole lot, if you check out the video carefully. Now any one with even the most basic analytical skills, can guesstimate the present mayors weight at over 300lbs, easy. Now any other chemical effort combined with breathing is and would be most dangerous for a person in the shape that the eminent  mayor now appears to be in. And did you see the pictures in the said article? Oy!



Now the Oracle of Ottawa will tell you from experience that alcoholism is very easy to hide, if you have the smallest amount of discipline. But other stuff can be damn near impossible to hide once it gets a hold on you. And from the look of the pictures that the that terrible article printed and the ones you can see on Google Images, well dear reader, you can come to your own conclusions. Now the only question is; will the rotund asset of the Conservative revolution just survive to the next election, let alone win it?



It appears to the Oracle of Ottawa that someone had better intervene here and soon. Seriously, if all my favorite Conservatives start dropping, the Oracle of Ottawa is going to be severely challenged for future copy after the funerals. Now Rob Ford should attack this problem in a cold rational Conservative fashion. He should find out if he can get a discount if he brings a certain federal finance minister with him at the same time...

Monday, March 25, 2013

Toronto Pandas Arrive - Chinese Conquest Complete

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
SunTzu, The Art Of  War, Chapter 3

Can you think of any better symbol of China than the Panda? A fat, dozy, stunned, stupid animal, that has long since past it's evolutionary best before date tens of thousands of years ago. An animal that can't really be removed from its original environment without it dropping dead. At first glance, it appears sooo cute, but once you do it and get over it, you realize that under the fur it is just like all china men, a barbaric peasant.

How the hell is this 'cute'??
 And you know when the Chinese Peasants Republic grant you the dubious honor of being allowed to babysit a pair of these worthless animals, they all but have you up the ass, and that you are essentially a Chinese vassal state. That seems to be just fine with the useless 'Harper Government'. There was the chromed domed useless eminence, in the person of Steve Harper there to greet these sluggish slut bears in person! What a joke! Meanwhile last summer, he couldn't show up at the airport in Ottawa to greet Angella Merkel, the President of Germany! Who the Oracle of Ottawa would rather do business with any day before wasting my time with Chinese peasants. Not hating, just saying...

And did you get a load of that peasant Chinese ambassador to Canada! What a vulgar lowlife piece of shit! Millions of dollars are being spent to have this useless lowlife shit in my once nice clean country. And the 'Harper Government' actually spent the last couple of years all but begging for the dubious honor of hosting the Chinese peasant slug bears. Just let the damn things go extinct and get it all over with.



Of course in return we should give the Chinese a similar gift shouldn't we? The Oracle of Ottawa was thinking three pairs of breeding Canadian Beavers! The Chinese could just leave them any where back in the woods most anywhere in China, and they will soon have a beaver for every zoo in China and the rest of Asia! Do you see the esential difference between Canada and China? Panda bear - beaver, got it? In the interest of economy, two doses of 9cc's of Smith and Wesson should be applied to each Panda and then reduce the carcass' to a rug and then return them to China to save on the shipping....


Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Awe And Wonder Of Hazel McCallion

How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!
James, 3:5, NRSV

At the time of this writing, 'Hurricane' Hazel McCallion is 92 years old, and is still in elected political office as the Mayor of Mississauga, Ontario. The Oracle of Ottawa is a big fan of 'Hurricane' Hazel and has been a reverent admirer for many years. 'Hurricane' Hazel is the Oracle of Ottawa's living proof that the art of government is not rocket science, but rather a well applied algorithm, that when properly applied and strictly followed, with out deviance to the left or to the right, is in reality all pretty easy and truth be told, pretty boring after a while.

Her Worship 'Hurricane' Hazel McCallion

The Oracle of Ottawa has been meaning to do this positive tribute piece for the longest while. But the final impetuous to do it came late in the night sometime last week when the Oracle of Ottawa was aimlessly surfing his 999 cable TV channels only to discover that there was still nothing on, when he stumbled upon the Ontario Legislature channel and observed Her Worship 'Hurricane' Hazel giving very animated  hearing testimony at a hearing that seemed to be investigating municipal governance.

The Oracle of Ottawa perked up, upped the volume and paid attention. Surely the fine woman is not as smooth as in her past? Well the Oracle of Ottawa discovered that she isn't, but rather, now, it seems, she has got even better! The Oracle of Ottawa marveled at the woman's mental speed and total lucidity that made the fat arsed committee guys less than half her age appear to be suffering from early onset dementia! But perhaps, the Oracle of Ottawa conceded, they were probably Conservatives, and Christian Mercy must always be shown to persons less gifted then our awesome Liberal Leftie selves.
    

That clip of her talking about municipal government, and its importance, that it should be enacted by law as an official tier of over government, should be posted to You-Tube! It was total magic to watch. The Oracle of Ottawa found himself hanging upon every word, and truly and deeply agreeing with her every word. And as she was talking, she would pick up up the ring of her unused three ring binder notes and at just the right time for emphasis she would let it drop just the right distance, and it sounded like a 220 lb. man banging his fist on the table! The Oracle of Ottawa realized that he truly was not worthy to be witness to such an awesome display of oration. 


The Oracle of Ottawa continued to be riveted, and again wondered how much the present Mayor of Ottawa would gain be sitting at her feet. Perhaps she could put some steel in his rubber spin doctored spine, maybe even, she could get him to have his own opinion! But the Oracle of Ottawa soon caught himself, not even the Mayor of Mississauga could do that.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

'Harper Government' - The Silver Lining

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Sir Francis Bacon, Essay LII, Of Ceremonies And Respects

Don't let it get you down my fellow Canadians and allied travelers, it is all just the master plan unfolding. After the puke up of budget 2013, another brick in the wall of the Canadian Inaction Plan, yet more of the Canadian social fabric has been dismantled. Why the wee finance minister was so proud of his latest work, that he boarded a plane for China forthwith, to enjoy the land of panda bears and lady boys, to inform the progress of the 'Harper Governments' true masters.

Justin Trudeau - The second cumming...
 But the Oracle of Ottawa has realized that all is not for nought. Today was the last Liberal Party Leadership debate in Montreal. It seems that the newbie Justin Trudeau has raised over seven figures of money without even trying. One point three million or thereabouts. Many leftie Canadians eagerly await the arrival of their leadership ballots so they can at last, put the final nails in the 'Harper Government' coffin. 

Then the Oracle of Ottawa had a rush of irony in realizing that all the work of the 'Harper Government' in the last ten years, is all but to amount to the clearing of the field for the second part of the 'Just Society' that appears to be well on its way to happening. With all the old structures of the Canadian social infrastructure all but already removed, it will be a dawdle to reconstruct something brand new and much better. You could say that the 'Harper Government' has fulfilled the role of a shitty John The Baptist! 

But in the near future it is all going to get very scary for the Conservatives. The Oracle of Ottawa figure it will all start with the bye election of Penashue The Unplugged out in Labrador, Newfoundland. It seems that the chrome domed eminence of Steve Harper is going to have the election for sure, but so far is scared shitless to call it! What is he waiting for, Justin Trudeau to win the Liberal Leadership Convention?


Oh and who could forget the CBSA reality show debacle! Is Shaw Cable answerable to the Conservative Party Purity Committee in Ducks Ass Alberta also? If you want to stop illegal construction workers in Canada, just start putting the Conservative Party supporters that hire them in jail. The problem will be fixed in no time!  And as for the rest of the right wing wacko's....

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Canadian Aviation and Space Museum Does Darth Vader?

Whosoever is found variable and changeth manifestly without manifest cause, giveth suspicion of corruption.
Sir Francis Bacon, Essays,  Essay XI, Of Great Place

The Oracle of Ottawa just never knows what the news of the local vulgar media late night news will bring next. The Oracle of Ottawa was shocked and appalled to learn that our National  Canadian Aviation and Space Museum is going to be hosting a Star Wars Exhibition! It is like having a flower and lawn show at the Canadian National Military Cemetery!  Now Star Wars has it place of course, at comic book shows and Star Wars Conventions, but it has no business at the National Air Museum of Canada. Do you think that such a thing could happen at the American National Air And Space Museum?

Selling out to Hollywood...
 The Oracle has no doubt put this down to the 'Harper Government' policy that a Museum should be run as a profit generating business. Why the Oracle is pretty sure that you will no doubt be able to get a Jedhi helmet with your name on it just like when you go to Disneyland and get your own personalized Mickey Mouse hat! As far as all that old Canadian shit, who really wants to see that? Who even knows today what the Arrow was, and the scum, gutless Conservative Government of the time that killed it, and destroyed Canada's place and chance at being an aerospace superpower... Star Wars just has so much more jerk off factor, don't it?

Darth Vader or a punk from the PMO?

It is all so depressing to see the cheapening of our national institutions by the western scum Conservatives. And the pathetic rube of the present curator, one Denise Amyot, who in no way looks like a national museum curator, but rather another low life Conservative Party of Canada appointee. If she has or ever had any pride or decency she would submit her resignation forthwith. As far as the Oracle of Ottawa is concerned, and as a veteran, he will be giving it a very large exclusion and I would heartily recommend that you do the same. 


Let us all get down and grovel in the American cultural filth...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

How Can You Not Believe?

Those who feasted on delicacies perish in the streets,
those who were brought up in purple cling to ash heaps.
Lamentations, 4:5, NRSV

The coming Easter of 2013 is certainly going to be one for the books. Deep in the secure bunker the Oracle of Ottawa marvels at what is visual on his big screen Sony in full HD. A Pope from the new world. The first Jesuit ever, and winning it all at odds at greater than thirty three one! And all very firmly and decisively in the early ballots. All things and events that the Oracle of Ottawa thought would never and could not possibly ever happen, has happened in my lifetime.

Pope Francis SJ

What ever will happen next? Will an outlaw biker become President of the United States? Will the NDP form the next Federal Government here in Canada? It all makes the Oracle of Ottawa wonder why the story of the death and resurrection of a man over two thousand years ago is such a hard sell to all who live today in this "modern" world? Oh ye of little faith. Watching it all unfold on the old style vulgar media, and on You-Tube, the Oracle of Ottawa can feel a certain kind of electricity that he has not experienced since being a kid in the 1960's. On several occasions over the last week or so, the Oracle of Ottawa has literally felt the ground shift under him.

All the big time new media atheists have been ever so strangely silent. The Oracle of Ottawa wonders what Christopher Hitchens would have said at this miraculous string of events? Or if the great Doctor Hunter S. Thompson was alive and in his sober prime, what the copy for the Rolling Stone article would have looked like? Could you imagine Hunter in the Square of Saint Peter's in Rome covering the great story, just picture it if you possibly can.

Now that Pope Francis is officially inboard and driving as of today, the Oracle wonders when the blood will flow in the streets so to speak. For any one who knows of such things the Oracle still recommends that a close eye be kept on certain wholesale personnel changes that the Oracle of Ottawa is sure to start happening very shortly. Especially at the Institute for Works of Religion, otherwise known as the Vatican Bank. The Oracle still stands by his prediction that somehow and very strangely all  securities markets are going to experience an upward surge of hundreds of points as that once constrained Invisible Hand is allowed free reign again. It certainly has a lot of catching up to do, doesn't it?


Habemus Papam....

Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Second Coming Of The Laurentian Consensus

"for whatever is born of God conquers the world."
1 John, 5:4, NRSV

Since the start of the one time majority of the 'Harper Government' there has been no end to the insane propaganda. Who can forget the pissings of  Preston Manning just after the accursed event, when he stated, with a straight face, no less, that Canada is now and will continue to go all right wing. Now the Oracle of Ottawa must commend the western hay seed rube on his brass. Considering that the 'Harper Government' majority was won with a mere 39% of the popular vote! And the court cases and investigations are many and continue anon. Not to mention the cabinet resignations.

Justin Trudeau - The second cumming ...
 The latest installment from the Prime Ministers Office of propaganda concerns something called the Laurentian Consensus, now this one is a total laffer. Some new wanna be characters are trying to convince Canadians with half a brain that Canada is longer ruled from the area of the Laurentian Valley as it has always been. This of course is totally false. Now granted there have been times, very few in number, that a stray dog government somehow comes to power, at the points of dynasty exhaustion, which is to totally to be expected. The Oracle of Ottawa reminds the dear reader of the 1950's in Canada, enough said?

Soon the Liberal Party of Canada will have a new leader, and as the Oracle of Ottawa predicted, it will all be over after the first ballot. Contrary to popular Conservative Party opinion, the Liberal Party is far from dead. Especially with the Conservative Party and The NDP continually giving it mouth to mouth so to speak! Canada has been through worse in its short history, and we will stomp the present evil of the 'Harper Government'  out so completely, that it will appear like it never even existed.


  
What is this? Just another zero blowing smoke...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Roman Catholics - This Thing Of Ours

Indeed, there are some very dumb things in the Bible and quite a few you would not want your children to read.
Donald Harman Akenson, Surpassing Wonder, p. 8

When you read the later letters of Paul when he was a prisoner in Rome, you can get from the words within the words, that Paul is beginning to realize that there exists other powers within the power of civil society.  Many modern people today would be utterly shocked to discover that there existed in Roman times certain "organizations" that today would be called organized crime. This goes pretty far in explaining some of the many emperors weird actions, as recorded by Edward Gibbon and a host of others.


Stories of the mafia in the Western World are a sure key to success. Witness the enduring popularity of the movie(s) Godfather, and the television series Sopranos. Most of the frameworks for such organizations, we are told originate in Sicily. And Sicily is an ancient place, as you will notice if you have ever been any where near the place, on the ground, so to speak. So many visitors have been through in the course of history, that the locals soon realized that they had to take care of themselves, and once that starts, it is all but impossible to eradicate.  

So one should not be too surprised that the Roman Catholic Church has an organizational chart that is very similar to an American crime family. The only difference is that in Rome the scale of the whole thing is just about beyond comprehension. At the top you have the boss of bosses, the Pope, the capo di tutti capi, plain and simple. Under the Pope is the cardinals, or rather the Godfathers of all the other families. Under them are the Bishops, or the Caporegimes. And of course under them are the soldiers, the made men, the parish priests. You as a member of the church are an associate.

Thinking back to childhood, being in a parish is a lot like being in a crew, you got called in by the boss at least once a week, and you brought the envelope, to make sure there was something to kick upstairs, so to speak. One wonders how long it is going to take Pope Francis to figure out that he is the new boss of bosses?    



Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Pope Francis - A New Age - It's On!

If God is for us, who is against us?
Romans, 8:31, NRSV

The Oracle of Ottawa is totally beside himself! What a day. When I did up the my "favorite picks" post for this conclave, the Oracle of Ottawa was well aware of Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, but not even the Oracle of Ottawa would allow himself the possibility of it ever happening. (Surely the dear readers would have suspected that the Oracle had truly slipped his clutch plates.) Not even if I lived to be as old as Moses! Oh ye of little faith.

Pope Francis - Our ship comes in...

The Oracle of Ottawa clearly remembers the utterly devastating disappointment of hearing of the election of Pope Benedict XVI. The worst possible choice. The Oracle was despondent for a very long time after that one, and had all but given up hope. Fortune again put me right at a radio as the event transpired, very weird that, I was driving in the car, somewhere in Ottawa, hoping to give it all a bye. Convinced that the pick of the next right wing wacko would take at least till Friday coming. It bubbled up on the CBC as they broke into live coverage, the white smoke was observed, but the choice was not known. Bracing for for another crush of disappointment, the Oracle of Ottawa decided to keep the radio on, and take it like a man.

(Rumor has it that even God is SJ!)
 To tell you the truth, it was way better on radio, it was just like being in the Square, way at the back...Well it was all a total shocker! The CBC thingy had trouble pronouncing the name of the newbie Pope. Then the Oracle heard above the roar of the crowd Argentina! Then he caught "the first Jesuit"! Then Pope Francis! God damn! It is a freaking miracle! It is a good thing that the Oracle had his seat belt on, I swear I could feel myself rising from the car seat. Then, you can't make this stuff up, it snowed, a radiant white snow, yet the sun was shining through it. Well at this point, the Fear came over the Oracle of Ottawa, but a voice inside of me said; Fear not Oracle, For I the Lord have delivered this day the whole world. The Fear retired forthwith.

Armoured Cadillac - Don't leave home without it Pope Francis!!
 Even if you are not a Catholic this is important. Even if you are not a Christian, this is important. Even if you are a Jew or a Muslim or a pagan, this is important. This will affect the world and everyone in it even if they never heard of Pope Francis. The first Pope from the New World, the first Jesuit(!!!), the first non European Pope in over 1200 years. And that he picked the name Francis, whether it is for Saint Francis Assisi or Saint Francis Xavier is immaterial, neither of those Saints would have voted Republican or Conservative! And that to the oracle of Ottawa is the massive move forward.  

Now you are surely asking, what the hell is a Jesuit? The Oracle of Ottawa will provide a few analogies to try to explain how important this is. Basically, Jesuits are the one percenters of the Catholic Church. Think of a soldier of the Waffen SS or a Hells Angels biker. Well believe it or not, these guys are just as nuts and can be just as frightening. As a matter of fact, to this very day, there are countries that they are not allowed to step foot in! The total number of the order today is less than 20,000. But they are still all over the world, even in Russia, and of course they are here in Ottawa also. They played an incredibly important part in the development of Canada, United States of America and most all of South of America. They keep a very low profile, so much so that the Oracle of Ottawa still has never met one in the flesh. You just hear about them after the fact mostly. They have made an incredible contribution to the development of the whole world and have many Saints, Martyrs and Blessed's among there number.

Now this Pope is going to have immediate and very long term effects that the Oracle is convinced is going to reverberate around the world. The first immediate effect is the ordered removal of all those under the counter derivative deals that have been placed by the rotten right wingers in the Vatican Bank in support of a complicated master plan of various MNC's that are part of the master plan of the "New World Order" to take all the workers of the world back to the nineteenth century.  When these are lifted we all will know it! Most all the indexes around the world will jump by several hundred points in a very short time as the plug is removed and the worlds moneys start to move again. Mark the Oracles words on this one. Later on there will be something near as big as Vatican II, where upon all the worlds most prominent economists, labor leaders, and other social scientists will be called to Rome for the express purpose of dealing with the curse of wealth and poverty. Wait for it....

In closing, as always, the Oracle of Ottawa is very worried already about one big thing, and that is the immediate safety of our new Pope Francis. For all the Catholics that are over the age of 55, will know what fear the oracle of Ottawa is expressing. The Oracle can only hope that Pope Francis is on the phone back to his home Jesuit House to get a shitload of people that he knows and trusts with his life, and that includes the cook! No more bus or other public transport ever! You take that limo and make sure it is armoured to hell and back! If there isn't any in the Vatican carpool call the State Department and see if President Obama can spare one of his Cadillacs. The Oracle of Ottawa wishes he was joking here, on this point, but sadly he is not.

What a day! I can still hardly believe that it actually happened in my lifetime.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Pigs On The Water In China

Most economists believe that economic science can proceed just fine without attention to ethics.
Julie A. Nelson, Economics For Humans, p.22

It must be true, I read it on You-Tube; only the Chinese can turn water into swine! Honestly folks, what does the fact of a river full of dead pigs in China tell you? Well it tells the Oracle of Ottawa that the Chinese have yet again incubated a another fine strain of swine flu. It ought to be here in the free world just in time for the next flu season. And if the number of increased pig bodies floating down the rivers has any information, this strain is going to be a real bitch.

Feel like a swim?
 There are no secrets in this world dear reader, there are just stupid people that refuse to read the writing on the wall. And a lot of it has to do with being able to ask the right questions when presented with the right facts. This recent story that just today appeared on the Oracle of Ottawa's local vulgar media supper hour news could also explain a lot of other related world news matters most recent.

It seems that the hermits of the Hermit Kingdom, otherwise known as North Korea are getting awful feisty as of late, aren't they? It must be getting a little out of hand when they are threatening a nuclear strike on the continental United States. Talk about a death wish. Especially when there is most certainly a boomer located on station somewhere very near said hermit kingdom, already and prepared to make the whole state in question a glowing glass covered parking lot, with all the survivors glowing, so as to make it easier to shoot them in the dark.



But look at the upside, at least for the near future sweet and sour pork is going to be on sale at all the buffets!  

Monday, March 11, 2013

Blogging - Safe As Houses

What you sow does not come to life unless it dies.
1 Corinthians, 15:36, NRSV

Of course, a lot of people have said to the Oracle of Ottawa, that they think he should shut the blog down, and that it is way too dangerous a thing to do today. With all the touchy issues that the Oracle of Ottawa touches upon, this cannot be good for a long and otherwise boring life. Some people have even warned that the Oracle certainly runs the risk of extraordinary rendition, to a secret location, where I will be reprogrammed by a steady diet of Fox News. The Oracle of Ottawa always responds that the United States is nice to visit at any time of the year. 

Blogging - Safe as houses...

What the these caring people do not understand is that blogging makes the Oracle of Ottawa feel real good. It is the Oracles greatest hope that one or maybe two of his created memes will catch on and cause the creation of a better, and all around, more equitable world. We must, after all, live in hope. Then the Oracle of Ottawa explains that this stupid blog is the one creation of my whole life that will probably live on the longest after the Oracle is gone. Like they say, once it is on the net, it is there forever. And who knows? Maybe some crazy publisher in a distant left wing country in the European Union will publish it, and it will become the gospel and bible of a new and better world order.

The safety issues were explained to the Oracle of Ottawa by his favorite niece, nothing to worry about Uncky Oracle, the words are way too big, and even worse than that, you sometimes discuss math and numerical mathematical concepts. Result; no conservative of any stripe will be able to get through the opening  epigraph of the post. See? Blogging; safe as houses...  


Here is a Blog Checker from the Conservative Party of Canada, located in Ducks Ass, Alberta. Nothing to fear but the unavailability of free birth control and the morning after pill....

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Bob And Fred Armstrong - A James Gang Youth

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.
John, 3:8, NRSV 

The Oracle of Ottawa has a led a full and interesting life. Sometimes too full and way too interesting. Even though the Oracle of Ottawa has only lived a little over half a century, his circle has become amazingly small in the last decade or two. It has been happening so fast that sometimes the Oracle of Ottawa is sure that he is suffering survivor anxiety. All of my circle that has departed didn't do half the insane shit that I have done and survived. The Oracle of Ottawa ponders this reality deep into many a night at present.


Lately, the Oracle of Ottawa has been haunted by a pair of brothers that were twins, but not identical twins, that he grew up with in the Arnprior area in the 1970's. Now imagine that you grew up with two thirds of the James Gang when you were growing up! Bob Armstrong looked an awful lot like Joe Walsh, why he even talked like Joe Walsh, and even better than that he could play guitar and sing like Joe Walsh! His brother Fred, looked an awful lot like the bass player from the original James Gang, right done to the mannerisms and the awesome sideburns.And Fred and Bob always had James Gang style motorcycles! Fred was the master mechanic. He is the only guy that The Oracle has ever met in his life that could rewire a complete Triumph motorcycle without a book! And friend, if you know anything about Lucas Electrics, you know that is a super human feat.


If that all wasn't eerie enough, the memories of them jamming out in the back wood shed at their mothers house in Braeside are some of the clearest memories of my youth. And let the Oracle of Ottawa assure that all those stories of excellent smoke and the purest chemicals of the 1970's are all perfectly true, and even through the high time haze, the memories are still clear as a bell. It would usually start with Bob announcing that he felt a jam coming on, by this time Fred already had the Fender precision bass plugged into a huge Hi-Vox(?) stack. Bob would amble into the shed like a rock star walking onto a stage, carrying a mint, pristine, 1960's Fender Stratocaster that even then was worth a fortune. He would flick on the vintage Fender amp, and tune up. Depending on how "lubricated" the night was, the concert had commenced!

The show would start with the excellent and accurate rendition of the Ventures "Walk Don't Run", and I swear to God, it sounded just like the album. Then a few more beers, and out would come some awesome Hendrix, complete with full guitar face! Then the other lads from the hood would amble in, sometimes even the parents would stand out in the street... Excuse me while I kiss the sky... At the end of the song the brothers would point out technical errors to each other, which was also really interesting.

Then it would all get serious, Bob would set up the mike, and the brothers would huddle in a whisper, then the highlight of the evening, the highlight of my life at the time, Turn to Stone! And Bob would just wail it over and over, just like Joe Walsh in the most out of it days! It made such a deep impression on the Oracle of Ottawa, that even after all these years, when he see's the video of the song he still experiences a full brain rush of all assorted endo-morphins and all the certain remaining chemical residuals...       



In memory of Bob and Fred Armstrong. Someday will be all together again, free from rack, ruin and all pain.

Whispers in the Loggia - A Blogging Algorithm

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy, 31:8, NRSV

Is it truly possible to start a blog on a very esoteric subject and have any hope of seeing it grow to a one man media monster? Is it possible to build a huge global blog readership with just word of mouth, without marketing? Is it really true that if you post most every day and keep your nose to the grindstone, say eight or nine years, that you will be having about 2500 page views every five minutes? Well folks, the answer to those questions is a resounding yes indeed!

The Vatican is boring?
 And as per usual and per course, the Oracle of Ottawa will provide a reference. The Oracle of Ottawa is usually not very impressed with the majority of blogs that he checks out. The level of literacy and the lack of lyrical music of the words being in the right order, as Northrop Frye would say, is all but appalling indeed. And with the hyped demise of the codex book, the Oracle of Ottawa has become very despondent about the future of literacy on more than occasion, and that is just recently.      

The example of a monster blog, 26 million views at the time of this writing, is called Whispers in the Loggia, written singlehandedly by one Rocco Palmo. Who has become so recently notable, that he has his own article on Wikipedia!( A loggia is a roofed open gallery.) The Oracle of Ottawa has to admit that is a brilliant name. And the blog is a brilliant design of utter sparse simplicity, that is somewhat reminiscent of the early Catholic Church of Paul and the other many and assorted Apostles. Why the youngster even has the brass and utter balls to ditch the comments option!    



Of course, there is really no power in writing a blog...

" Hello? Mr. Palmo? This is the Vatican, media Curia calling in the hope that we can entice you to travel to Rome, so we can kiss your bum for the required amount of time so that we can implement our new policy of becoming media friendly... Yes, yes, of course, first class Air Italia, can we expect the honour of your presence? Wonderful..."

Really blogging is a waste of time and won't lead any where, won't it?  

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Mayoralty Comedy In Ottawa

Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.
Romans, 12:17, NRSV

It is the usual course of the Oracle of Ottawa to only engage in the deeper social issues in the medium of this awesome blog, that is loved, bookmarked and read very often, from all over the world. But there are occasions and events in the the Oracle of Ottawa's patch that he just has to pile on, so to speak.

It all started on the local old style vulgar media supper news on the CBC, whereupon the Mayor of Ottawa, at the time of this writing, was big as life on the Oracles big screen Sony in full 1080i HD stating that forthwith, he was going to start a war on various "eyesore" buildings located in the present boundaries of the City of Ottawa, Canada's Nations Capital. The ever friendly mayor rather shocked the Oracle of Ottawa by actually pointing out one building, that shall remain nameless, located in the Market area of Ottawa, otherwise known as the slums. The Oracle of Ottawa smiled and continued on with dinner. Good luck with that your worship...

Proposed "eyesores" don't count in Ottawa?...
 Zoom ahead to later on in the week and sure enough there is the vital little mayor on my suppertime news yet again, and this time in a most agitated state, stating most emphatically that he and any of his right bowers would never be intimidated by the threats of legal action by the present stakeholders and taxpayers of the fine City of Ottawa. The Oracle of Ottawa laughed so hard that he just about toppled off his very comfortable sofa. It seemed that the a certain developer, that just happened to be the owner of one of the mentioned "eyesores", started the litigious legal paper flying, with some it landing (served?) at the doorstep of the present Mayor of Ottawa!

The Oracle of Ottawa just loved it! Just revelled in the stinking hypocrisy of the whole event. It is no problem at the present, at the City of Ottawa, for a dismissed employee to be sued by the City Legal Department months after being fired for bogus overpayment of wages! These amounts start at over $70,000 and will continually drop until the desired action is taken by the former employee! If you don't believe the Oracle of Ottawa just call 311 or CUPE-503 and ask for yourself! Its your dime my fellow citizen. You can ask all the questions you like. 

What really choked the Oracle of Ottawa's chicken is that the likes of the present mayor of Ottawa, at the time of this writing, should think that he can take it on himself to publicly condemn someones property as an "eyesore" using that taxpayers own money against him, and yet allow plastic shoebox condos and certain American big box stores down in Landsdowne Park! And an even bigger "eyesore" plan of the present Mayor of Ottawa, at the time of this writing, of that sole sourced casino to be located in the area of downtown Ottawa! Complete with a possible army of Temporary Foreign Workers! It seems that the Mayor has a real thing against your "eyesores", but alas not his...
  

A laugh a minute, especially at the end...

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Justin Trudeau vs. Steve Harper - Boxing In The Mind

Who gives speech to mortals? Who makes them mute or deaf, strong or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?
Exodus, 4:11, NSRV

In case all of the "red meat" conservatives from Ducks Ass Alberta to Pembroke Ontario are wondering what is keeping the lord and master of the present Conservative Party Bund up at night, they certainly got their answer today in Question Period. It appears that the Lord has spoken through his soon to be unemployed servant Steve Harper of the tar sands in a most prophetic way, like the Spirit descended upon him.

Justin Trudeau - The next one...

It was all very weird and comedic to the extreme. It all started with the appearance in the House by one Justin Trudeau, dropping in off of the leadership campaign  trail to keep up his media profile, by asking a few pointed questions to the chrome domed eminence in person. It all concerned the great conservative party claw back of employment training money to try and save the ever fattening face of the wee banty finance minister, who's wee little dick is presently caught in the electric pencil sharpener of the public glare.

It seems that the Prime Minister referred to the young Justin as the Minister! The House of course went nuts! If that wasn't bad enough, he repeated the mis speak about five seconds later. Now we have all heard of the Freudian slip, but the back to back ones are God himself speaking through a soon to be out of favor vessel. The Oracle of Ottawa has never seen anything like it in all his years of following along.  


You can't make this stuff up... Also, did you catch the third Freudian slip at the end, where Harper just about says "I am shorter then him"? LOL!! In what respect are you referring to steve?? 

Stompin' Tom Connors - In Memorium

For in hope we are saved.
The Letter of Paul to the Romans, 8:24

It is with great regret that the Oracle of Ottawa will attempt to extend his sincere and heart felt condolences on the news of the passing of Stompin' Tom Connors, a great Canadian. Born into trying circumstances, that today, are virtually no longer in existence, Thomas Charles Connors discovered early his great gifts of perseverance and dogged grit. A man born of great gifts which he continued to develop all his life, Stompin' Tom never deviated from the truth discovered in himself.

Stompin' Tom Connors OC
 It is a very fond memory of the Oracle of Ottawa that the first "Rock Concert" he ever attended was Stompin' Tom in Arnprior, Ontario in 1970 or was that 1971? When the number one song on Canadian radio was Big Joe Mufferaw. The venue was the church hall of Saint John Chrysostom Church in Arnprior, which of course was sold out well in advance. The Oracle of Ottawa remembers with crystal clarity the Stompin Tom Tour vehicles; the honking brand new white Ford Thunderbird's with the largest set of Texas Longhorn horns you ever saw, attached to the front grill of said vehicles. You just can't make this stuff up.

It is truly amazing how long greatness adheres to memory. There he was in the full vigor of youth and on the start of his meteoric career path, Live and in Person!. Stompin' Tom had great stage presence, similar to the likes of Johnny Cash and Gordon Lightfoot. His shows all through his career were of a special electric quality, and the Oracle of Ottawa knew even at the age of thirteen years that this man would continue to be a force to reckoned with for a very long time. His works will enter the folk song cannon of Canada, and the Oracle of Ottawa will predict that at many times into the far distant future there will be many rebirths of his songs as the spirit and forms of this great construction of Canada will require. You know, like John Tavener, is in England, but much more important.

It is not as widely known as it should be, but Stompin' Tom was a man of very great depth and assorted talents. He wrote not one but two memoirs! And without a ghost writer, thank you very much. Which is quiet impressive when you discover the true amount of time that Mr. Connors actually spent in a classroom. And the Oracle of Ottawa will help you out here, it was not very much...The Oracle of Ottawa discovered the real man several years ago when he released his complete works of songs and some other very interesting things that occupied the mind of Stompin' Tom Connors. It was all bound in a surprisingly large hardcover of red cloth and in quarto size, no less. In the back of the book, after the hundreds of awesome songs, there is a description of a rather awesome algorithm for a perpetual calendar that Stompin' Tom created and if memory serves, had patented!


Today we all feel a loss, and lesser in and of ourselves, but the mans words and thoughts will live in the Canadian archtype as long as and no doubt longer than Canada lasts. Another Great Canadian; Northrop Frye, often said that all life is a quest, and it's greatness is measured in the fullness of its realization. Stompin' Tom Connors has painted out for us its importance...  

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Cardinal Marc Ouellet! Are You Kidding Me?

For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred?
Matthew, 23:19, NRSV

For a Cardinal that has recently said that the job of the Papacy "is not very enviable", and "It's the kind of thing you don't campaign for.", you would never know it if you are a resident of Canada! For the last two nights here in Canada, there was Cardinal Marc Ouellet in full HD on the CBC National evening news cast. Being interviewed by Peter Mainsbridge,  all cheesey jesusy, it was enough to make a maggot barf!

Cardinal Ouellet not campaigning....
 If you read into the good cardinals background, you soon will have to come to the conclusion that at present he is (was?) Pope Ratzingers right bower! And not only that, he was very responsible for seeing the right winged Rottweiler into his not so successful Papacy. Old Ratzinger and Ouellet have a lot in common. The Oracle of Ottawa finds it comical and ironic if it wasn't so loaded with future tragedy of an ancient organization. They both are, well, small town hicks! The Holy Roman Catholic Church really needs some more of that don't it?

It all reeks of Opus Dei to the Oracle of Ottawa! And believe the Oracle of Ottawa, Opus Dei is no joke. It is big here in Ottawa, the Oracle of Ottawa also knows what is like when it goes through your family, oh yeah.  And they are huge in the media, all over world. And if you are very suspicious,and had your tin foil hat on, you saw them in their full power and might on and through the CBC in the last two nights. Secret organizations with very little financial see through, just love the right wing unbendable bible thumpers. They usually are not very strong in the numbers department. Certain organs in the Church just love that. And believe the Oracle of Ottawa it is all about the money.

The Church is at a real cross roads. If they don't get it right this time, it could be all over in our lifetime. What we really need is a left wing renegade that will toss the money changing whores from the temple so to speak.
Some one who when is elected, the world will cheer in joy, and a whole lot of the devils agents will be scrambling for their tax havens and Papal passports...


The good Cardinal Ouellet is correct on one point; others could do it better....

Monday, March 4, 2013

'Harper Government' - Another Ironic Twist

Their wanderings through the crimson twilight had brought them to the neighbourhood of Metre 170 on Rack 9.
Aldous Huxley, Brave new World, p. 20

Most everyone alive in Canada today is well aware of the so called Robocall scandal. It allegedly occurred just before the last federal election, whereupon the 'Harper Government' finally won it's majority. A very large number of seats were won by less than 5% of the popular vote. Almost immediately, there were complaints of weird calls being received by voters on election day claiming to be from Elections Canada  that redirected voters to nonexistent polling stations. The multiple cases are now before the courts and the subject of many investigations.

Aldous Huxley-Ford be with you..

One of the names that keeps coming up over and over in the present vulgar old style media is a company from western Canada called Racknine Communications. The Oracle of Ottawa thought that was a pretty snappy name, sort of catchy in many ways, since computer servers are stacked in standard 19 inch racks. The Oracle of Ottawa at that point thought no more about it, and continued on with his ongoing "thinking about thinking" project, in  the hope of gaining enlightenment.

Well recently the "thinking about thinking" reading has taken the Oracle of Ottawa to a reread of a novel that the Oracle first read while he was a mere teenager, back many years ago when the Oracle of Ottawa was "fab". That novel was Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. You know a novel of the future is great when you first read it, and come to the conclusion; that could all very well happen! You know that same novel is an absolute classic when you reread it decades later and come to realize that, holy shit, that Brave New World is already here!

It is all in the early pages, as a bunch of new alphas are being given a tour of the Central London Hatchery, since no humans in the Brave New World are conceived in the old fashion way, but rather, they are grown outside of the womb and then "decanted". It just so happens that the Brave New World doesn't need too many sharp people. So, on the assembly line, at Metre 170 on Rack 9 is the location where the little test tube humans are chemically dumbed down, with alcohol and a host of other chemicals and methods! The Oracle of Ottawa again thought of the name of Racknine Communications. Surely it is all a coincidence! Isn't it? 


You would think that the old style vulgar media would have picked up this story and fact way before a mere blogger, wouldn't you? Who would have thought that there actual live interviews of the creator of the Brave New World still in existence? Well somehow there is. Enjoy and listen very carefully....

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Pondering Pontius Pilate

What I have written, I have written.
Pontius Pilate, John, 19:22

The Oracle of Ottawa has always been fascinated by Pontius Pilate; as a man and a civil servant and of course, of the role he played in the death of Jesus Christ. Unknown to most people, Pontius Pilate came from a very good and noble Roman Family, The Pontii's. He was of the Equestrian Order, that is of the second highest tier of Roman society. He no doubt busted his chops in the Roman Legions. He, also, in all probability, traveled near and far in the service of his emperor and his empire.

Ecce Homo...

Now the one thing that has always made the Oracle of Ottawa wonder is what did he do to get a crap posting to the Roman Province of Judea? Was it the head stand over the head table punch bowl at some Senator's daughters wedding in Rome, while he was home on leave from his Legion? Such actions in the beginning of a career can have long and devastating consequences as we all know. Such a question, and the answer to it are lost in the mauzy fogs of history.

Now just at the time that Pontius Pilate was posted to Judea as prefect (26CE-36CE), the Roman Empire was approaching its greatest extent. Practically the whole known world was under the governance of the Roman Empire. Ponder that! No internet, no telegraph, no printing and yet the last remanent of the Roman Empire did not die until 1453CE  with the fall of Constantinople! It has to be obvious to the modern person of today that the Romans had something going on.

Pilate Stone - Pilate was a real man...
 With all this in mind, and the fact that the "thinking about thinking" project reading has lead the Oracle of Ottawa to reread the New Testament, again, it was with a startling revelation upon reading the introductory quote of this piece that the Oracle of Ottawa totally understands the role that Pilate played in the fulfillment of ancient scripture and in turn the creation of the new covenant as fulfilled by God's only Son. The Oracle of Ottawa realized that at the end of the Passion of Christ, that Pontius Pilate was converted! And he successfully fulfilled his destiny as the vessel to whom ancient prophecy called.

We know from the Gospel of Matthew that Pilates wife  dreamt of the coming troubles that Jesus Christ would bring upon her house and her husband. And it all came to unfold as intense experiences do, in a very fast blur indeed. If a person is very well versed in the history of the time and all the constraints that Pilate was operating under, he proved to be in the end, a very ethical man indeed. He was sitting on a rather explosive situation. He only had about 3,000 centurions at hand. If an insurrection had of broken out, all of Judea would have went up in a fireball! Pontius Pilate was between a rock and very hard place.

The Oracle of Ottawa has often tried to imagine what it would have been really like to be on the ground at this momentus time. For a real exercise in leadership and management procedures try to imagine what it would have been like from Pilates toga and sandals! But upon reflection he seems to have taken the advice of Jesus himself. Pontius Pilate rendered unto Caesar what was Caesar's and rendered unto God what was God's...


Pilate with his hands full. What would you have done?