For all the Dear Readers that caught the Oracle of Ottawa's earlier recent piece on the 'Harper Government' reaching the "puke point" you would have realized that if you had been a regular reader, you would have read about today's news several days ago! The Oracle of Ottawa totally nailed it. But where the puke would start seeping at the base of the volcano, this has even shocked the Oracle of Ottawa.
The Brand New Edmonton Remand House of Horrors
It certainly does not look good for a government of family values and law and order that stole a majority from coast to coast to coast, to have civil insurrection erupt in the center of the Western strong hold! But you can be sure that the first comment to any question in the House of Commons will be it is a provincial matter. But of course, the problem is at the next election. The voters in Alberta will surely place the blame where it belongs, on the 'Harper Government'.
The Oracle of Ottawa surely knew that trouble was in the offing of the near future when he saw the several pieces on the new Edmonton Remand Detention Center that seemed to get way too much weight on the CBC National News. (No doubt to the orders of wee Jimmy Moore...) It was the first of the new wall - mart American style super size prisons to be built in Canada. The part in the news documentary that mentioned that bit about about all visits being conducted with video - conferencing, the Oracle of Ottawa knew that the thing at some point soon would erupt in a mushroom cloud.
Wall Mart Penn from the air...
Even before it opened the lawyers were bitching, not to mention the warnings of the prison guard union. And sure enough the lid all but blew off way before even the Oracle of Ottawa expected. Strange, that today in Question Period here in Ottawa Rob "The Knob" Nicholson and Vic "The Dick" Toews seemed to be damn near invisible if they were even there at all.
It all blew wide open just before the weekend last. Two guards were suspended for rising health and safety issues. This in turn led to a wild cat walk off. Over the weekend, the Alberta Labor Board ruled it an illegal strike. The effect of this was to get all the sheriffs and all the other legal unions to also walk off the job! As the Oracle of Ottawa predicted, once the "puke point" is passed, what are you going to do? Call the cops?
The word in Ottawa is that the strike captains are somewhat relieved that the Alberta government started and served legal proceedings on a small number of hand picked union members, the paper was immediately put to good and efficient use since someone forget to bring the toilet paper for the strike line go huts. There is also much discussion on the other uses of light standards and utility poles...
Why does the way of the guilty prosper? Why do all who are treacherous thrive? Jeremiah, 12:1, NRSV
The Oracle of Ottawa first heard of Margaret Thatchers passing while still in bed this morning on the CBC Radio News. The first impression that crossed the Oracles mind was there goes the old style vulgar media's TV schedule for about the next two weeks. She had a nice long retirement didn't she? And as a Baroness, she also sat in the House of Lords. And, much to the amazement to the Oracle of Ottawa, she was on the speaking tour until quiet recently! So lets see, one government pension, one pay check from the House of Lords, and those wacking speaking fees! Talk about triple dipping! Isn't it ironic that as the warrior for unrestricted capitalism, she sure got to feed deep at the trough of the public tit. And to add insult too injury, she seems to have had the utter luxury that she didn't deserve, of dying in her sleep, no doubt with her face to the wall.
Margaret Thatcher - Ronald Reagan
Maggy Thatcher was born a no count shop girl. She made full use of all the socialist tools of the time to better her life. And then she spent the rest of her life making damn sure that your kids will never have the same opportunities! No doubt many a tear will be shed all over the United Kingdom tonight, after enjoying a good horse and kidney pie and over the best adulterated scotch. No doubt there will be many people at her funeral, mostly old trade unionists, that want to make sure that she really is dead. Did you hear that she passed away at suite of rooms at the Ritz Hotel in London! Where is your grandmother dying? How utterly evil and criminal is that? The ninth circle of hell is certainly going to be receiving a monster upgrade shortly.
The real legacy of Maggy Thatcher is that she was the sharp tip of the spear point of the New World Order, that we all suffer under today, and will continue to suffer under, until we finally get wise and take our world and lives back. She was instrumental in the "downfall" of the Eastern Block. Now we have gangster states, that makes the old days of grey Marxist - Leninism look some what idyllic! Is your life as a working person better now or was it your parents and grandparents that really enjoyed life more than you as you are sweating through it now? I know it is embarrassing, you don't have to give an answer.
But there was the Falklands, wasn't there? Well after thirty years it has all finally dawned on the Oracle of Ottawa that Maggy didn't really give a sheeps shit about a bunch of sheep herders far and away. It appears now to the Oracle of Ottawa that it was all about who was going to dominate the huge export weapons business. And it sure as hell was not going to be the French! A little MI-5 and a dash of MI-6 and you can make anything happen. All for the good of the GNP! And the friends that you are dancing with at the time. Mark the Oracles words folks, it will all come out about 50 to 75 years from now, the history of the future will not match the history of today, of that you can be most certain.
In closing, the Oracle of Ottawa has to agree wholeheartedly and with out any reservation with the statement of Gerry Adams: "the great hurt done to the Irish and British people during her time as
British prime minister. Here in Ireland her espousal of old draconian
militaristic policies prolonged the war and caused great suffering." And that war in all its flavors still goes on. And it will continue until we finally rise up and end it, once and for all...
The above represents the Oracle of Ottawas sentiments exactly...
No more can governments rely on the passivity of subjects; they must face the activity of the citizens.
Leslie Lipson, The Great Issues Of Politics, (Seventh Edition), p. 179
You certainly know when the micro-dicks of the 'Harper Government' are in the pencil sharpener, don't we dear reader? When it all goes really bad, and the very foundations shudder, don't expect to be able to see that edition of Question Period on CPAC, or even to see it on the usual rerun time at 11:00 pm. on the day of that edition of Question Period! Hell no, the corporate whores that own CPAC for a "public service" are only willing to let you see Question Period on the same day if it just happens to make the MORONS of the 'Harper Government' look good on that particular day. The spin doctors and fart catchers from the Prime Ministers Office are threatening everyone and everything overtime on days like this, and today is not the first time, is it?
Gerry "The Ditz" Ritz, BFL (see below...)
The Oracle of Ottawa warned early and often that the train wreck(s) would be just down the line and approaching at full throttle. Well, here we are! The Oracle of Ottawa warned that when he could not find which high school the Gerry "The Ditz" Ritz , the present short lived Agricultural Minister, attended, it could only mean serious trouble down the road. Still looking for that information. If any member of the House can get him to tell the truth about the XL Foods train wreck, the Oracle of Ottawa would really still like to know which high school and which University Gerry "The Ditz" Ritz graduated from!
It is rapidly becoming apparent to the Oracle of Ottawa thatPathogenic E. coli is a Conservative disease! Every time you get a right wing wack-ball conservative government in power you will see this disease as sure as sunrise! It brought down the Conservative Harris government in the Province of Ontario, with the horrendous E. coli outbreak in Walkerton, Ontario that left several people dead and scores of others weakened for the rest of their shortened lives! And guess where the spew of this provincial government ended up? You bet'cha, they all seemed to get a seat and most of the cabinet posts in the 'Harper Government'! This is not bullshit, the Oracle of Ottawa has provided links to cited and very detailed references, take your time, and enjoy.
E.coli at 10,000x
The reason the Oracle of Ottawa is hot about this issue is that from late August and early September past, the Oracle of Ottawa suffered from the worst multiple case of exploding shit that he has ever experienced! God Damn! You fucking western hick monkey Ritz!! As we now know that this latest E.coli Conservative debacle has affected 41 US States. The Oracle of Ottawa was enjoying his usual brand of most excellent velvety Chili from a small cannery somewhere in the North East US, when upon passing the obligatory chili fart, felt a bubbling and then a gurgle, shit, you could literally hear it! Then Holy fuck up Ritz! You better be near a shitter, because you are just going to have a monster explosive sludge "Ritz shit".... You had that to dear reader? It wasn't the "heat" of August after all, was it now? Well that is the effect of cow shit in red meat, hope all you western hick monkeys out west got something to feed all those cows you aren't going to be able to sell, except for dog food to China! Your good friends....
The only thing that will recompense the pain and suffering experienced this summer by the Oracle of Ottawa is that Gerry "The Ditz" Ritz is awarded the degree of BFL, (Backbencher For Life)!! And the Oracle of Ottawa is waiting and expecting the Opposition to continue to root these unqualified and uneducated western hicks from cabinet and if possible from Parliament itself. It isn't "bullying" if it will save some innocent persons life. And while you are that little task, lets get Gerry "The Ditz" Ritz started on his high school diploma....
How ironic that the people that are going to suffer the most are the poor suckers that actually for voted for low life shit such as this! Reap the whirlwind you sowed.....
Modern culture is defined by this extraordinary freedom to ransack the world storehouse and to engorge any and every style it comes upon. Daniel Bell, The Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism, p.13
As the great Hunter S. Thompson said in copy from campaigns many decades ago; Scum also rises. The great Doctor would be amazed at the progress we have achieved since then. Now, the Scum still rises, even bringing its own baggage! Well Bubba, that's progress. Hide your sons and daughters. The screw heads are coming over the horizon! Again!
The mighty newt...
Old Steve of the 'Harper Government' must surely have choked on his Alpha-getti, when watching the hardy (hardly?) endorsement that the mighty Newt flipped the 'Harper Government' on the recent announcement by the State Department and the Office of the President of the United States that the "sure thing" Keystone XL pipeline was now on the far back burner. Probably for good and forever. And, no doubt, for the better of everyone in the way.
It was awful generous of the mighty Newt to say that the 'Harper Government' is conservative. But that bit hidden between the verbal barf-up that implies Americans, Chinese, it is all the same.As long as who ever is the end customer ponies up the required and fungible legal tender. It is only stupid, dirty oil after all. Meanwhile, somewhere in a secure bunker in Beijing, old Hu, between episodes of The Price Is Right, rubs his chop sticks together in utter glee. Careful not to disturb the empty bottles of Three Penis Wine that are accumulating at his feet.
Old Steve of the 'Harper Government' ponders the near future. Old Joe will have to go. And what the hell is to be done with that defense minister? The House starts the second session on January 30. With all the present and recent deviations from the carefully scripted message, the Opposition will be like a pack of wolves that stumbled on to an unlocked feed lot.
As old Steve tries to find some solace in the dark dank halls of 24 Sussex Drive, Stanley the cat is really gagging up on another hair ball. With one last sickening heave and a strange popping sound, the agony is over. Steve attends to inspect the mess. Lynn! Call the vet! The cat puked up his asshole!
The mighty newt helps the 'Harper Government'. The real meat starts at 3:00. Enjoy!
Any tension creates its own dialectic. Daniel Bell, The Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism, p. xxv
Well folks, it is all in all done. Now you can date the Liberal Party of Canada! For nothing! Isn't it grand? The lads in the 24/7 Conservative war room must be still laughing. But you got to hand it to Builder Bob! What a job of spin! This last Liberal Policy convention will go down into spin and fart catcher history. What a masterful job. There just has never been anything like it. And, no doubt, there will not likely be anything like it again.
Wall-e and Eve go home...
The Oracle of Ottawa has always wondered why there is something called the Sunset Channel in the vulgar media cable package. Now he knows. Now he knows indeed. Do you remember that big policy convention that the NDP threw, just before Jack Layton got ill? Did you watch it on CPAC? The Oracle of Ottawa did. There wasn't a whiff of a smell of any thing un-towards. The Oracle of Ottawa did not get the same impression when watching the machinations of the Liberal policy convention that just past. Why the Oracle of Ottawa got the feeling that he was the observer of a deep clandestine political operation, that was using all the tools and latest technology of the fart catchers and spin doctors art. The plumbers bag of tricks now contains no spanners.
But I know that there are some of you Liberal delegates out there that are very strong willed and independent. The statistically rare types that the Neuro-linguistic programming does not work on, no matter how strongly applied. But take heart. There is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that Builder Bob will probably be the next leader of the Liberal Party of Canada. The bad news is that he will probably be the last leader of the Liberal Party of Canada.
When will crowds out knowledge we call the result obstinacy. Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms, On Psychology, no. 10
It was early Saturday morning, and the Oracle of Ottawa thought he would check out the progress of that policy convention that the Liberals were throwing downtown at the big new Ottawa Convention Center. It was being broadcast live via CPAC. What the Oracle of Ottawa saw was not very uplifting. When I had tuned in all the liberal wall-e's were trying to vote on a resolution with their cell phones! Now of course their were the rich wall-e's with the latest I-Phone thingy's and they were done in a snap! Then there were the want to be wall-e's with the welfare bum budget phones, that just didn't seem to be able to grasp the nut of the exercise... It also could have been all those budget phone plans also, it seemed the poor wall-e's couldn't even get connected to the great red grid! Has the great dream of the Just Society come to this?
Wall-e and Eve do the Liberal convention in Ottawa...
There have been signs for weeks now...the news, that some contractor fart catcher wall-e came up with the brilliant idea that the Liberal Party should have primaries just like the hick Albertans and The Americans! Why if I wanted that I would have just voted Conservative! And then the worst possible scenario of old decrepit Bob Rae talking like Paul Martin, that he isn't really going to run for the leadership...God in heaven help us all...The bigger dick delusions born in the dorms of the University of Toronto just won't die, will they? Lets face it folks, the Liberal Party of Canada seems now to be just a bunch of terminal "grass eaters". Hoping for one more green field...
And what the hell was Rotman School of Management doing at a Liberal Party policy convention? And who was paying for all this? And doesn't Rotman have a marketing advisement contract with the Conservative Party of Canada? And if you ever owned a stock in your life, you know that to make money with Rotman advice you always do the opposite of what they suggest! They are consistent, but they are always wrong!! I guess the Liberal party of Canada is the perfect client! I hate to say it, but the way it looks now folks, there just doesn't seem to be a hope in hell.
Wall-e discovers another "device"... He doesn't have much luck with this one either! Alas.. the roach is a spy from the conservative party....
The brilliant Schiller was wrong in his Joan of Arc when he said "against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." It is actually by means of the gods that we make our stupidity and gullibility into something ineffable. Christopher Hitchens, On Intelligent Design, p. 77
Is it really true that the whole world is dumber than a bus load of Conservatives? The oracle of Ottawa is really getting miffed at all the hub-bub building about this 2012 end of the world crap! Would you believe that the article about it now ranks 649th out of the nearly four million articles in Wikipedia? Would you believe that that article has been hit over one million times in the last thirty days? No?
You buy this crap?
Would you believe that the Oracle of Ottawa saw a very well heeled and seemingly rational and well educated man literally close all his bank accounts and announce to the teller that he was leaving North America to hide out in his ancestral Austria? Well that dear reader is true! I witnessed this act of insanity at my very own bank branch in Ottawa Ontario, just before Christmas last! I was dum-founded as was the teller, who could hardly keep the straight face...
Not a wheel to be found...
If you think about this logically and rationally for just a moment several arguments should soon occur to you. But I will go over a few of them with you because the Oracle of Ottawa knows that not every body is an "85" in this sorry world.
Argument 1: If the prophetic power of the Mayan calendar is or was so shit hot, how come they didn't predict there own demise? In turn why would you consider their prediction about our civilization?
Argument 2: If the Mayan culture and civilization was so damn awesome, how was it that it was kicked over by less then two dozen rag ass pirates from of all places Spain!??
Argument 3: Why would you believe any prediction from a "civilization" that existed for over two thousand years and never got around to figuring out or even come close to inventing the wheel? How much advice do you take from people that run every where? Yeah, not too much....
So for all you panicking, sorry, dumb as fuck wallies, I hope that this will at least allow you to sleep tonight....
The nice man from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory back up the Oracle of Ottawa with even more rational information that you paid for with your tax dollars, that were all in all very well spent... No go to bed you idiot!!
Marry’d in Haste, we oft repent at Leisure;
Some by Experience find these Words misplac’d,
Marry’d at Leisure, they repent in Haste. Poor Richards Almanack, 1734
R.E. Note from the society desk.
They come and they go...
Peter MacKay, present Minister of Defence in the 'Harper Government' has married a very nice girl from Iran by the name of Nazanin Afshin-Jam. Now known as Mrs. Nazanin Afshin-Jam MacKay...
You didn't actually think that I would touch this, did you?
A wonderful addition and role model to Conservative Party of Canada family values... Oh by the way? "That emptiness inside you", don't count on that being filled in any time soon.....Can't you just wait for the Sun News Krista Erickson interview?lol...
It was Saturday morning last. And I woke up as I usually do, to the soothing voice(s) of the Canadian State Broadcaster, the good old CBC! And being Saturday and the time that the good Lord allowed me to wake up, the most excellent radio show The House was playing. I was still half asleep at the first hearing of the expression "The Office of Religious Freedoms" and I wrote it off to that extra pot sticker that I really shouldn't have eaten at my favorite Chinese buffet last night,or it could have been that I took too much crushed chili dipping sauce again, and I was paying the price with some light auditory delusions. "The Office of Religious Freedoms" there it was again! I really heard it that time! Goddamn! The 'Harper Government' is opening what!? "The Office of Religious Freedoms"!!?? Jesus on a Greek stick! I can't believe it!
You know who rests before assuming office..
This is right up there with the most insane thing that the brain dead wacked out Tory's have dropped yet! Opening an office such as this is just like saying to every rag headed sect, group and what ever passes for a religion today that the nation state of Canada has rolled over and has admitted total defeat on all fronts! The Lord himself knows that the Oracle of Ottawa is doomed to Hell for sure. Lord knows it is true. That wild drug induced binge of my youth, the most excellent live concerts of the devils music, the absolute sinful dive into debauch when I was in the Navy...But Lord, the Oracle of Ottawa was young and foolish! And Lord, I truly enjoyed them all! Even the ugly ones! And every cigarette and every drink...And God himself knows that I did not have a woman in every port! The Oracle of Ottawa did not get to every port! So there!
Still not awake completely yet, the Oracle of Ottawa was still in a semi dream like state, then I was in this big hall, on all fours, with my head reaching forward and my arse perched high into the air, then this loud amplified sound " llllllaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh akkk Baa!" Then there was that smell of the cab drivers unwashed arse
that was parked an inch from my face, and then every body stood up!!! Noooooooo!! Hell is supposed to be the place you go to after you die!! Then I woke up...
There are some very nasty rumors circulating in Ottawa on who is going to be the first director of "The Office of Religious Freedoms", The Oracle of Ottawa has not heard a thing, really...
It is not very unreasonable that the rich should contribute to the public expence, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion. Adam Smith, Wealth of Nations, Book V, Chapter II, Part II, Article I, p. 911
How creepy is that? The moment you showed your face on Sun News TV a horde of wasps gathered in down town Ottawa, in the sight of Parliament Hill! They had to close the street and call in the unionized City workers to spray down the lot... Talk about a scary and ominous Omen for the next Parliament about to start very soon. I heard you were a bit nuts, but that is totally untrue, you are totally fucking out of your head nuts!
Heinrich Heine was a friend of...
How do people like you crawl upon this Earth? The first sign that tipped me off to your being a total fraud was the "I love Adam Smith" bit... Like most of all the right wing nutters like yourself, you have never read Adam Smith! Or if you did, the Manga picture version does not count! I included a quiet liberal quote from the Wealth of Nations to prove my point. You can check it out for your self... If you ever sit down and read the unabridged version of the Wealth of Nations, which I am sad to inform you, is over a thousand pages of small print, you will discover much to your horror that Adam Smith could be said to be the first Marxist! Opps!
Karl Marx, who published Heine in...
But the total confirmation that you are a total fraud was your reading of the poetry of Heinrich Heine! I expect that you will be reporting to the Prime Ministers Office to explain your lack of Conservative Purity... You see Rob, Heinrich Heine was a far left Liberal! So much so that he had to vacate Germany! He spent the last twenty five years of his life as an expatriate in Paris! But it all turned out pretty good. While in Paris he made many new friends.
One of those friends that Heinrich made was a fellow German exile that went by the name of Karl Marx! As a matter of fact Karl was so inspired by Heinrich Heine that he published Heinrich's most famous political poem Die schlesischen Weber ("The Silesian Weavers") in his newspaper Vorwart's! Now this occurred in 1844. Why a lot of scholars say that this poem inspired Karl Marx to write The Communist Manifesto! So what the hell were you doing reading this guys poetry on the greatest and most right - winged media organ in Canada!? Perhaps you should have stuck to the talking points after all. They are made created to protect mindless morons such as your self....
If on the other hand I tell you that to let no day pass without discussing goodness and all the other subjects about which you hear me talking and examining both myself and others is really the very best thing that a man can do, and that life without this sort of examination is not worth living. Plato, Apology, Section 38
The Canadian House of Commons contains 308 seats, to rule by majority requires 155 seats. On Monday May 02, 2011 the Conservatives won a "majority " by winning 167 seats. That is only a 12 seat "majority". Steve Harper is no John G. Deifenbaker ! And hardly a Laurier, or a Pierre Elliot Trudeau, or a Jean Chreitin! The next Canadian Federal Election is October 19, 2015. How many seats over 155 do you think the great majority will be then?
Plato; Back to the basics...
The most green and novice student of contemporary Canadian politics knows how hard the great Conservative party can be on selected members of its own family. Why some of the finest Liberals have walked across the floor of the house to escape the blue fog. Homework question; since Steve Harper has been the Fuhrer how many people have bailed from the Conservative party to sit as Liberals or Independents? How many? Ya that is a lot. My favorite was Chuck Cadman!
Conservatus-Neanderthalus (Back Bench)
Over the years this amateur politco has noticed a very troubling, or if your a Liberal, a very positive pattern and constant trend. It is always the Conservative beautiful people that get hounded out of the Tory Bund! It seems that all the members with fine features and with no problem attracting money and other attention are soon out of favor, soon to be exiled from the Bund to find great second and long lived careers as Liberals! Very strange that... I have no doubt the Liberals are at this very moment casting up the next parliaments list of most likely for welcome. And of course the Conservatives will not disappoint, will they?
This leaves us to come to some very interesting conclusions...What are the qualities of the true long lived Conservative? Well, firstly they are as a rule lard arsed fat. Which complements their unusually heavy bone structure...The facial features are coarse, with hardened large lips, a product of the years of mouth breathing. Their favorite haberdasher is Wal-Mart. Post high school education consists of all the second and third tier foreign and western Canadian schools. The backs of their hands are are very thick skinned, this is due to the years of dragging their knuckles on the ground. Note; only the cabinet members finish high school as a rule. Anything more than that is considered with great suspicion....
