The classic vice of all dictatorial systems is their assumption of the superiority and infallibility of those in power.
Leslie Lipson, The Great Issues Of Politics, (Seventh Edition), p. 201
Well folks, IT'S ON, again! The Oracle of Ottawa feels so much younger, so much more alive, as he gets to take part in the reasoned and mannerly discourse of the nations business. Yeah right! The Oracle of Ottawa was not in the least bit upset when the usual verbal shit kicking and bitch slapping started with the clock!
It's On!!!
The Harper Bund didn't look one bit different from the last day we saw them way back when. Actually the Oracle of Ottawa was alarmed (in a good way), at the incredible amount of disgusting grooming and the general level of overall sloth of the Harper Bund. Why the Oracle of Ottawa is convinced that an August "floater" in general would present a better first impression!
And they came prepared too! A brand new BIG LIE has been spun out by the spin doctors, juryed by the fart catchers of the Prime Ministers Office. It was the brand new Carbon Tax lie. But, alas, it seemed to founder right out of the gate. The NDP were in incredible form in the first Question Period. The Harper Bund seemed to be very much taken aback at the ruthless sharpness of it all. If the great man is believing the pollsters, well methinks he is in for a very large shock indeed.
All the usual continuing fuck-ups were freshly updated by the Opposition, with numerous new examples. It seems Diane "The Fly" Finley has finally completed her program updates of several Canadian Government departments. And from all indications, according to the Conservative Party of Canada, they are so far a total success! The systems are so fucked up you can get no service of any kind at all!! The only question is how long will it be, and will the Harper Bund have a enough guns and cops to put down the eruption when it finally and without warning takes off?
And then it was over, time flies when you are having so much fun. The Oracle of Ottawa was invigorated and went out for a brisk "born again" walk, and to make the day perfect, as I was returning to the secured bunker that little plane with the banner that asks Steve Harper, Why do you hate us? Was welcoming the Harper Bund and the Oracle of Ottawa back to work... You can't make this stuff up....
Why, it is only the second day back, and you would not think that they been away for six weeks at all! Already, Diane "The Fly" Finley's eyes are bugging out, and poor old Joe "Change Me" Oliver is already doing his trembling like a horny school girl routine! And it all so ironic as it is actually a thin wisp of a schoolgirl that is actually the cause of the great mans trembling. Yes, dear reader, it is that impish Megan Leslie up to her evil and dastardly routine of embarrassing the old blue goats.
It was another scorcher of a Question period again. And one of the most humorous and / or pathetic so far, all depending on which side of the House you were cheering for! Who said there was no more good afternoon television on anymore? The young Megan Leslie again made the dottering old fool, Joe Oliver, look like a complete dinosaur. The Part where he tried to compare the skanky Alberta oils sands to the "National Dream" of the Canadian Pacific Railway was just a hoot! To compare the scum entity of the 'Harper Government' to Nation Building was enough to make the ghost of Sir John A. MacDonald puke!
Here is Rick Perry with a very popular demonstration of early onset senility. In reality he is older than Joe Oliver....?
Is that rage? .... Or is that Parkinson's Disease? Julian "Jack in the Box" Fantino stands by with the wipe to catch the embarrassing spittle trail, as soon as the august member returns to the sitting position....
It is late Saturday night. And for some strange reason the Oracle of Ottawa feels utterly compelled to share with his legions of faithful readers his impressions of the goings on in the House of Commons especially during Question Period of the week last. Let me start with the general impressions of the parties as a whole. First we must start with the government in power. Protocol demands we do these things properly! The Conservatives look to the Oracle of Ottawa as if they have been in majority power for twenty years already! All fat, slow and corpulent and it is not even half way through the first year of the heavenly mandate! Like the Oracle of Ottawa has already said in this blog, if the Conservatives used there Parliamentary Library cards as much as their Parliamentary cafeteria cards, Canada would be in a Golden Age that would rival Ancient Greece! But alas the lights are already starting to dim in the walmart cabinet... Now to the poor Liberals, that section of the House appears very much like, save and except for a few firebrand pillars, the Day Room of a very posh old age home! All the commitment is there, but the time seems to be gone forever. Meanwhile to the Liberals left, sits the NDP, with all the piss and vinegar of wanton and reckless youth. It makes the Oracle of Ottawa feel twenty years younger just watching them go! And they must be getting it right, with every Conservative mentioning at every opportunity, that they are not fit to rule? Is there information in that whistle past the graveyard pronouncement?
Seen on the Hill....
Sick Parade:
Now the Oracle of Ottawa has noticed that some Conservatives are already starting to falter, power is such an exertion and all don't you know! It appears that each time the vertically challenged Kellie Leitch stands to her seat she is clutching to the left of her stomach. Whats wrong honey? Guts giving out already? The Oracle of Ottawa loves watching these 40 under 40 types hit the wall at 100 miles per hour! The Oracle of Ottawa has also noticed the dimming of the voice of one Human Resources Minister Diane Finley! Life has been one success after another, so far... But now the our little over achiever is learning the hardest way that government is not a business and cannot be run like one. She just can't understand it. But the worst is yet to come, the Oracle of Ottawa predicts that soon her voice will fail her each time she stands to her seat, completely. Proving that yes, there really is a God and he is a member of the NDP! And then there is that old Julian Fantino the Oracle of Ottawa wonders how many more times he can possibly stand to his seat in one Question Period as he defends the ongoing train wreck of the doomed F-35. It reminds one of a prairie gopher that is having all his holes attacked at once! There is even a pool you can buy into picking the closest time to his expiration in the House from all the exertion. A senior citizen like him should be somewhere else with is feet up.
Now the Oracle of Ottawa must present this weeks prizes of Statesman of the Week, and the Hog of the Week, with honourable mentions of course!
Statesman Of The Week:
This week the prize goes to: (envelope please...) Megan Leslie! For her incredible feat of destroying several years of lobbyist and Conservative Party of Canada's well laid plans for the Keystone Pipeline! You go girl! By taking the initiative and going down to the USA, she "keystoned" the Tory's dead! The part where Shelly Glover just about broke out in tears of rage was the high lite of this bloggers week! All Canadians revelled in the Tory hissy fits!
Honourable Mention:
Pat Martin: For releasing his inner voice on Twitter! You would have won big guy if you would have said all that in the House! But good work all in nevertheless!
Charlie Angus: For over all above and beyond performance in Question Period. And just adding some class to the place by being there.
Hog Of The Week:
Dean del Mastro: For displaying incredible ignorance about the "separation of powers" with regards to that committee screw up regarding the CBC something or other. Lesson of the week? You ain't in Italy now sucker!
Honourable Mention:
Eve Adams: For dating the hands, and soiling the party nest, not to mention missing committee due to that silicon lip blow-out. You should always keep a patch kit in your purse sweetheart....
Kerry-Lynne D.(umb) Findlay: For screwing up during Question Period, I mean how hard can it be to read a scripted answer? By the way does Vic Teows know you are active in that criminal loving Canadian Bar Association?
James Moore: For balloning like a blimp and not answering to your true inclinations. If you need a set of balls, see Megan Leslie. Everyone knows she has more than one set!
Well that is it for this week folks. The Oracle of Ottawa is watching, he is every where....
Megan Leslie is way smarter than Peter Kent, and even better looking!!
I am concern'd for the condition of the learned world, which lies under such a deplorable ignorance in all these particulars. David Hume, A Treatise of Human Nature, Book I, p. 271
Sometimes you hear something and you go into shock. The Oracle of Ottawa was so shocked and offended by it that he was simply unable to post as per usual last night. But after the passage of more than 24 hours and another look at the tape, the Oracle of Ottawa must address this incident. It is based on an exchange in Question Period in the House of Commons on November 02, 2011. It was recorded on CPAC and you can watch it here.
The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms....
It involved an exchange between Joe Comartin of the NDP, a prominent defense lawyer, who is giving up a whole lot of billable hours to sit in the Royal Opposition as Opposition House Leader, and the Conservative Party of Canada resident legal genius Vic Toews. Presently faking it through the cabinet post of Minister of Public Safety. If you are frequent viewer of Question Period you know that Vic Toews is no match against Joe Comartin. The sign of a great defense attorney is to be able to get the bad guy to say the truth that he had no intention in his worst nightmare of ever saying out loud. Joe Comartin got the "bad guy" to spill his guts...again...
Joe Comartin: If they are so hell bent on ramming through this bill, will they at least listen to the three provinces that have come forward and said that we are not paying the shot.Ontario, Quebec, and British Columbia, are not paying the shot. You pay the shot.
Vic Toews: Well Mr. Speaker I do respect my colleague opposite but I know that he comes from a long distinguished career of defending criminals as a defense criminal lawyer, our perception is a little bit different, our perception is a little bit different... (House Goes NUTS!!)
My chin dropped! A cold rush went up my spine! Did I hear this right? Did I actually hear this? Yes I did! Is the Minister of Public Safety telling the House and me that the Conservatives have other plans for Charter Rights, especially sections 7 through to section 14? The Oracle of Ottawas experience as a seasoned tory watcher is that such utterances are "tells" or Freudian slips. They accuarately foretell the future. The more base and stupid the utterer, the sooner it will happen. And the present front line of the Conservative Party of Canada is appearing very thick indeed! Remember, you heard it here, second!
Canada is verily circling the bowl! Vic Toews is no Lord Acton!
Every thing secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity.
Lord Acton, Letter, (23 January 1861), published in Lord Acton and his Circle (1906) by Abbot Gasquet, Letter 24
It all started out as an ordinary day, like most any other day. Soon it was time to watch today's Question Period. And then it was Charlie Angus standing to his seat and still hammering on the hapless and forever lost Tony "Two Tier" Clement, who is now as lost to the Tory Bund as glacial ice to the Canadian high Arctic! But John "The Broad" Baird is still in denial and tries to protect Steves favorite son with all the passion of a Chinese mother arguing her sons sixth driving license test failure. With the same result, all to no avail...
Please! - No tory fingers...
It was the part of the fingers on Canadas booty that just killed me, you could take all that several ways. And the Oracle of Ottawa has to share his impression of the way it hit him. Now I know that there was much more serious matters in the House today. The legislation to dismantle the Canadian Wheat Board is most distressing and is the biggest sell-out to big agriculture in the history of Canada. Hopefully this will all be jammed by a well presented legal challenge from someone who actually took the time to read the original act. And forsooth, the Oracle of Ottawa predicts that the "mandate" of the last Federal Election will not over ride the required vote of all the farmers. If they read a little longer and deeper you will also find the basis for a constitutional challenge! But don't tell anybody that the Oracle of Ottawa told you that.
Meanwhile, not to let the facts get in the way of any reality it was the sock puppet Gerry "The Ditz" Ritz out standing ankles deep in manure on some farm in Stittsville Ontario, to announce the great proclamation. Like a back room Moses with tight buns due to the back pockets full of lobbyist cash! There was only the sound of three hands clapping...
Charlie Angus protects Canadas booty, and avoids being beaten to death by popcorn...
'Tis impossible for the mind to preserve any notion of difference betwixt two bodies of the same nature existing in the same place at the same time. David Hume, A Treatise of Human Nature, p. 41
When Olivia Chow stands to her seat in Question Period and all but losses her still strong Chinese accent and sounds like a matron that was born and raised Rosedale, you know the NDP smell blood! They smell the weakness and the fear like a pack of wolves which can tell which moose in the herd will be dinner tonight! Now group this with the blatant and oh so transparent tells of the front bench Conservative sock-puppet mental midgets and it is very easy indeed for most any blogger, even those that are not as intelligent as the Oracle of Ottawa, to immediately start writing about the future in advance of a minimum of two weeks!
Conservative Minister...
You know that the opposition has touched the royal blue g-spot when the old tells start to show. This was very apparent in the question period of September 27, 2011. All that stuff that the NDP and the Liberals are saying about "Two Tier" Tony Clement must be true! When ever they ask "Two Tier" a question in the House, the Minister fails to stand to his seat and be forthright with the people of Canada! Charlie Angus is feeding like Jaws at an orphanage beach day! It is the great man John Baird that takes the questions for old Tony. And during the Tuesday Question Period Minister Baird was talking very slowly and his voice has dropped two and a half octaves! All us old hands of watching Question Period knows what this means! The answer forthcoming is an answer, just not the truth...And it seems to be spreading! It seems that Minister Denis Lebel, in utter panic, has forgotten how to speak English under certain question topics about major infrastructure! This blog writer surmises that it is the Ministers conflict with his inner PQ...Selling out can extract a large price bonhomme!!
Charlie Angus - Ready for Question Period...
It is hard to believe, but it all gets better! It seems the real right wing wacko's are stirring in their usual pathological frustration. One Brad Trost has unloosed Steve Harpers favorite ghost from the Tory hope chest. Yes that, "no abortion for any reason", hell cat has been re-loosed! Complete with the "resurrection" of one Charles McVety, I told the party whip that they should have used two stones to keep him from rising from the dead, but noooo...Sometimes a savings is no bargain. The majority should start to shrink any day now, just like I told you months ago.
And now Let Us Pray, my fellow Canadians, really, I am not joking...
When history moves - really moves, that is - it does so in great convulsive jolts. David McNally, Another World Is Possible, p. 13
One of the greatest pleasures of watching Question Period in recent times is to see the faces of all the Conservatives turn to a sickening ashen gray when Charlie Angus rises in his place and kicks off another scandalous session of close and often embarrassing, but always entertaining grilling. Why if it wasn't always so wild and raucous I am sure you would be able to hear all one hundred and sixty six Tory assholes snapping shut, all at the same time .. Well okay, one hundred and sixty five, there is one minister on the front bench who's asshole would snap open and wink at the handsome Charlie... But of course that is another blog post for the future..(or not...)
Charlie Angus - Staying Free Range...
It would have been an absolute shame if Charlie Angus would have decided to run for the NDP party leadership job. And it was with great relief that the Oracle of Ottawa heard the news that Charlie has put any such speculations to rest. Now Question Period will never be boring! While the rest of the leadership hopefuls pull back as to protect themselves from making any gaffs. The front liners such as Charlie Angus, Yvon Godin and all the rest of the gang will, I am sure, pick up the slack. The new crop of youngsters are coming along very well and several great talents will no doubt emerge.
Go With The Buick!!
The NDP has a big decision to make in the near future. It is starting to look like a classic purchase decision. It is a lot like the guy that wins a little money at the Lottery. He has enough to lease the Porsche or to buy the Buick. Now in this case the Porsche is being represented by Brian Topp, The Buick is being represented by Paul Dewar. Now a Porsche is really cool and all and it goes like snot done a frozen razor blade! But, alas, the engine will come out of the car for the first time usually around 60,000km... The Oracle has seen Buicks with nearly 500,000km on them and the engine has never been gone into for any reason...You can drive them until the body rusts through...What the Oracle of Ottawa is saying is that the the rank and file of the NDP have got to do their homework!! And by that I mean that you must check out the health condition and health histories of your leadership candidates!
Can you say; Aus Motor??
A guy that at the age of 51 years or there abouts that is already a cancer survivor is and should be out of the running. Investigate family trees, does the candidate come from long lived genetic stock? i.e. How long did the candidates parents live? And their parents? Hence my liking for Paul Dewar.. Did you know that there is a Commanders medical in the Royal Canadian Navy? To get your third ring and your own command of a Canadian warship all the Executive officers must pass the Commanders medical. It consists of mostly a very detailed heart check. One weird looking pattern and or beat and your future Naval career is over. That is hard but that is life at the level of the "show"... Choose carefully, I just can't go through what I went through this summer ever again in this lifetime... Go with the freaking Buick!!!
Classic Charlie Angus; shit kicking the be'jesus out of the barely there Conservatives...
One good thing about bad government, it makes for great Question Period! And the Oracle of Ottawa feels already that in the 41st Canadian Parliament, we are well on the way to some of the greatest Question Periods of modern times!
When it all starts with a shocker, tighten your seat belts. And that is exactly what the young Micheal Chong provided by standing to and complaining of a proposed American Hedge Fund coming to his patch to open a small quarry that will only be about three miles long... and just devastate the local environment. But isn't that what the Tories want? Isn't it their policy that we need this "foreign investment"? It appears to the Oracle of Ottawa this young lad has the spine and presence of a Father of Confederation. And in turn is somehow by by accident sitting on the wrong side of the House and with a low grade of people....
Big Booty in Muskoka!! Woo-Hoo!
Today in Question Period, history was made...by Pierre-Luc Dusseault of the NDP, as he stood to in his place for the first time, and made his first statement and question as the youngest elected member of parliament in Canadian history! I don't even remember the question, but this youngster looked really solid on his feet, and his English was perfect. It looked like he has practiced in front of a mirror since he was about eight years old! So parents, if your Geeky kid wears thick pop bottle glasses and his/her favorite pastime is addressing Parliament in their room, do not wisk the poor kid to the Kitty Shrink! Make sure they have as many "adult" books on Canadian government and law as your little wallet can bear! They will repay your show of confidence! Out of the mouth of babes... it warmed the Oracle of Ottawas heart...
Rodney Weston, sits to his place... A great Conservative.
Then the highlight of the day, the Alexandre Boulerice, Charlie Angus tag team attack on the pathetic cowardly and today cringing Tony "Two Tier" Clement. Again it was the Minister of Foreign Affairs, the great man John Baird that came to his pathetic rescue. Today the theme was booty! Big Booty In Muskoka! Referring to the recent Porkathon at that G8 summit.... If it isn't true why won't it go away? It must be true because the John Baird devastating tell kicked in again, the yapping got faster and faster and lower and lower... Opps!
It was very nice to see the now Veteran MP Scott Sims standing to and going for the freakin' jugular! I guess the Weather Channel has given up any hope of getting their shinning boy back in this lifetime....Really great eat your own words attack today. The Conservatives really hate that!! And we all love watching it!
Poor Diane Ablonczy fattening every day from the binge eating? Cabinet a little stress full dear? No, really, The Flintstones is not a documentary, no I am not making that up!
Reform is back in town! But will they be able to get out of town??
I didn't feel the need to have a lot of yes-men standing around me. As Mitchell Sharp once put it, the bigger the staff, the smaller the minister. Jean Chretien, My Years As Prime Minister, p. 38
No rant today. In its place I will provide some observations from today's Question Period. The Oracle of Ottawa has noticed that the crop of newbies mixed with the old seasoned hands has provided observations that are begging to be made...And the paradox of the chiseling of the Conservatives on you and I while they are deploying the largest cabinet in history!
James Moore, a sad tragic waste of a Liberal
First up was James Moore, looking totally on the wrong side of the House in his dapper red Liberal tie! And no James, it doesn't make you look fat...The poor bastard had to try and tap dance through the fact that his budgets are being cut up to 35% at Heritage Canada to the shouted observations that that money is being redeployed to the new super-max prisons...Why, that is to build the Canada we all dream of...
Alexandre Boulerice and the lads did a most excellent pile on to Two-Tier Tony Clement! Why the lads were so together that the pig eyes of John Baird recessed even farther into his skull as he rose to fight Tony's battles. One astute seasoned Scotsman, Charlie Angus I believe, from the NDP mentioned something to the effect that it was raining pork in Muskoka! Yes, last summer the pigs did fly in Muskoka, didn't they? The shiny sheen of weasel sweat broke out on Tony "Two Teir" Clement and remained for the rest of Question Period...The John Baird lisp makes my skin crawl, but I continued to watch, fighting the gag reflex, this is for Canada after all!
Charlie Angus, a great future, deadly on his feet...
Of course we got to see the Minister of Labour tap dance on the subject of those nasty strikes ongoing. The self thought slick Lisa Raitt said that the disputes should be left to take care of themselves. But on the six o'clock news that had somehow changed to back to work legislation... The strike at Air Canada is not even a day old! Of course organized labour's right to strike is under no threat at all is it?
It was a laugh a minute folks as the Minister of Indian Affairs (John Duncan) stood up in the House and admitted right out that yes the RCMP and CSIS were staking out any signs of evil doing. If you are in a band office, check the flower pots Chief!! And remember! Walk and talk - outside!!
Egyptian die, 600-800 B.C.
On a very sad and depressing note, the Oracle of Ottawa noticed the bitter visage of the Pembroke hottie Cheryl Gallant sullen in her seat, passed over again for cabinet. It appears that she has acquired the Krista Erickson look straight out of Sun News TV wardrobe and all! This should be exploited by the opposition! You just don't know what will puke out of her trap of a yap.. Always worth a shot!
The high light of today's Question period was the Maiden Question of Ruth Ellen Vegas Brosseau! I gotta hand to the NDP fart catcher contractors and trainers! I didn't recognize her! And damn, she is a Babe! But the Oracle of Ottawa knew he was witnessing History. That magic moment, when it was show time, and she stood to her feet and seemed to grow at least six inch's, the look on her faced changed, it was Magic! She realized it was time to really Roll'em for real and forever...We all witnessed the birth of a politician.
