Sunday, December 11, 2011

'Harper Government' - Office Of Religious Freedoms

There is no mercy in the Passing Lane, and no place to pull over and park.
Hunter S. Thompson, Better Than Sex, p. 230

It was Saturday morning last. And I woke up as I usually do, to the soothing voice(s) of the Canadian State Broadcaster, the good old CBC! And being Saturday and the time that the good Lord allowed me to wake up, the most excellent radio show The House was playing. I was still half asleep at the first hearing of the expression "The Office of Religious Freedoms" and I wrote it off to that extra pot sticker that I really shouldn't have eaten at my favorite Chinese buffet last night,or it could have been that I took too much crushed chili dipping sauce again, and I was paying the price with some light auditory delusions. "The Office of Religious Freedoms" there it was again! I really heard it that time! Goddamn! The 'Harper Government' is opening what!? "The Office of Religious Freedoms"!!?? Jesus on a Greek stick! I can't believe it!

You know who rests before assuming office..

This is right up there with the most insane thing that the brain dead wacked out Tory's have dropped yet! Opening an office such as this is just like saying to every rag headed sect, group and what ever passes for a religion today that the nation state of Canada has rolled over and has admitted total defeat on all fronts! The Lord himself knows that the Oracle of Ottawa is doomed to Hell for sure. Lord knows it is true. That wild drug induced binge of my youth, the most excellent live concerts of the devils music, the absolute sinful dive into debauch when I was in the Navy...But Lord, the Oracle of Ottawa was young and foolish! And Lord, I truly enjoyed them all! Even the ugly ones! And every cigarette and every drink...And God himself knows that I did not have a woman in every port! The Oracle of Ottawa did not get to every port! So there! 

Still not awake completely yet, the Oracle of Ottawa was still in a semi dream like state, then I was in this big hall, on all fours, with my head reaching forward and my arse perched high into the air, then this loud amplified sound " llllllaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh    akkk     Baa!" Then there was that smell of the cab drivers unwashed arse
that was parked an inch from my face, and then every body stood up!!! Noooooooo!! Hell is supposed to be the place you go to after you die!!  Then I woke up...

There are some very nasty rumors circulating in Ottawa on who is going to be the first director of "The Office of Religious Freedoms", The Oracle of Ottawa has not heard a thing, really...

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