Thursday, May 2, 2013

Chris Hadfield? - Spare Me!

What can be shown cannot be said.
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus, 4.1212

Space is just another busted flush. It all dawned on the Oracle of Ottawa today in a flash as he was driving about Ottawa on his Thursday routine. It was one of those truly ugly life realizations that just come onto you in their full ugly truth. Like when you finally realize that the wife is running around on you, or even worse, all the things you have believed in all your life are at last discovered to be nothing but a lie.

Chris Hadfield - Spare Me!!

The news on the CBC radio was stating that the voyage of Canada's mustached Pete was finally and mercifully coming to an end. Chris Hadfield seemed to have done everything in space. One more maudlin saccharine TV display and the Oracle of Ottawa was going to have to start storing air sick bags in the media viewing area of his secure bunker.  The whole thing seems to amount to we put a air type twit into space and all he could do was tweet.

Werner Von Braun with "friends" 1941
 The really sickening parts were the meet and greet with all the little brats in schools various across Canada attended usually by the creepy Prime Minister of the 'Harper Government'. Most of the little shits won't advance past their game boys. And a about a third of them, all the "new Canadians" can hardly wait until they are old enough to blow something like Chris Hadfield up and back to you know who. Allah carte if you catch the Oracles drift.

The other most sickening part of all this marketing crap was Chris Hadfield himself. There is just something about the man that creeps the Oracle of Ottawa right out. He just can't put his finger on it, but someday in some newspaper it will all be there on page six, bottom. Wait for it. The Canada Space Agency has a yearly budget of 488.7 million dollars. And all we can get is tweets.

The Oracle of Ottawa is old enough to be able to boast that he has watched all the history of modern space on the old vulgar media. Starting way back with the Mercury and Gemini programs. Also the Oracle of Ottawa also vividly remembers that July summer night in 1969 and the one giant step for mankind. That was a great time to be a young Canadian! We were building a Just Society then, now at the end of the space age we are ironically dismantling that same society. How weird is that?

Decades later when the Oracle of Ottawa finally started to think for himself, he went back into the history of mans climb into space. The reality of it all is not a very pretty story at all. All the great minds of the technology that kept the likes of Chris Hadfield in space was developed by a very special crew of lads from Nazi Germany. They were brought to the United States of America under an OSS operation that was called Operation Paperclip. It was a typical American Imperialist operation that was based on the offer of "take it or else we will prosecute you as a war criminal".  There were many notable names, including Werner Von Braun and the true father of the jet engine Hans von Ohain. There was another gentleman that worked on the development of the space suit that Chris Hadfield wears into space today. The data to design it came from volunteers of Nazi concentration camps that suffered horribly in crude but most effective data gathering. I will leave this name as an exercise for the reader. The CIA just about got away with it, but there was just one too many loose ends and proof that they couldn't bury.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, here in Canada today, as Chris Hadfield tweets, mothers of developmentally challenged children are abandoning there own sons and daughters at government offices and hospital emergency rooms. Can you imagine? In Canada!? We can't afford to support that stuff anymore, funding has been cut, you are welcome to find a free market solution for children that not even the "invisible hand" would touch. And Chris Hadfield sends another tweet...     

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