Sunday, March 24, 2013

The Awe And Wonder Of Hazel McCallion

How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!
James, 3:5, NRSV

At the time of this writing, 'Hurricane' Hazel McCallion is 92 years old, and is still in elected political office as the Mayor of Mississauga, Ontario. The Oracle of Ottawa is a big fan of 'Hurricane' Hazel and has been a reverent admirer for many years. 'Hurricane' Hazel is the Oracle of Ottawa's living proof that the art of government is not rocket science, but rather a well applied algorithm, that when properly applied and strictly followed, with out deviance to the left or to the right, is in reality all pretty easy and truth be told, pretty boring after a while.

Her Worship 'Hurricane' Hazel McCallion

The Oracle of Ottawa has been meaning to do this positive tribute piece for the longest while. But the final impetuous to do it came late in the night sometime last week when the Oracle of Ottawa was aimlessly surfing his 999 cable TV channels only to discover that there was still nothing on, when he stumbled upon the Ontario Legislature channel and observed Her Worship 'Hurricane' Hazel giving very animated  hearing testimony at a hearing that seemed to be investigating municipal governance.

The Oracle of Ottawa perked up, upped the volume and paid attention. Surely the fine woman is not as smooth as in her past? Well the Oracle of Ottawa discovered that she isn't, but rather, now, it seems, she has got even better! The Oracle of Ottawa marveled at the woman's mental speed and total lucidity that made the fat arsed committee guys less than half her age appear to be suffering from early onset dementia! But perhaps, the Oracle of Ottawa conceded, they were probably Conservatives, and Christian Mercy must always be shown to persons less gifted then our awesome Liberal Leftie selves.

That clip of her talking about municipal government, and its importance, that it should be enacted by law as an official tier of over government, should be posted to You-Tube! It was total magic to watch. The Oracle of Ottawa found himself hanging upon every word, and truly and deeply agreeing with her every word. And as she was talking, she would pick up up the ring of her unused three ring binder notes and at just the right time for emphasis she would let it drop just the right distance, and it sounded like a 220 lb. man banging his fist on the table! The Oracle of Ottawa realized that he truly was not worthy to be witness to such an awesome display of oration. 

The Oracle of Ottawa continued to be riveted, and again wondered how much the present Mayor of Ottawa would gain be sitting at her feet. Perhaps she could put some steel in his rubber spin doctored spine, maybe even, she could get him to have his own opinion! But the Oracle of Ottawa soon caught himself, not even the Mayor of Mississauga could do that.

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