Canadian Museum of Civilization Goes Disneyland

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
George Orwell, Animal Farm, Chapter 10

 As any reader of this blog already knows, the Oracle of Ottawa greatly resents having conservative darwinist western canadian pigs screwing with the Great Canadian Institutions. The Canadian Museum of Civilization has been called the Canadian Museum of Civilization since 1856! Why the "brand" of the Canadian Museum of Civilization is older than Canada itself! How dare some come lately pig of a pinhead in the bloated form of James Moore dare to even think of screwing with it?

Corporate sponsorship pending.....

The Oracle of Ottawa got first wind of the change when one Andrew Cash of the NDP opposition stood to his seat in Question Period Monday last and asked the "government" for clarification of the foolhardy move.  The  fool in the overly rotund form of James Moore confirmed the "re-branding" and actually seemed to relish the utter outrage of the Opposition! The new name is to be The Canadian Museum of History or a similar play on the words thereof...

The Canadian Museum of Civilization is renowned for its permanent galleries depicting over 20,000 years of human civilization. Well that is all soon to be gone dear reader. The stated focus now will be only on "Canadian history" as seen through the pig eyes of the conservative party of canada. Translated, that means that only the sanitized version of Canadian history as approved by the Prime Ministers Office and its minions and communication contractors will be the only approved version that will be allowed to be seen by Canadians from now on. Curators take note... 

Great Hall - like Canada now soon to be a memory....

 The Oracle of Ottawa has got wind of some of the new permanent  exhibits. The much loved Great Hall will become the Preston Manning Hall of Mirrors, with each mirror cracked just right to provide a gross and repulsive image. Western knuckle dragging hicks from Ducks Ass Alberta will truly love this! The real reason all the ancient galleries will be hidden forever is that the residents of Ducks Ass Alberta, the home of the Conservative Party of Canada Ideology Purity Committee have reminded the PMO that all the artifacts could not possibly be real since the Earth was created in six days sometime around 4000 B.C.!

Another new exhibit will be known as Great Conservatives of The Past, this of course will not require very much space. A utility closet that at present holds all the toilet paper and hand soap, has been deemed more than large enough to contain the proposed exhibit....  But the high-lite exhibit is going to be a real crowd pleaser! The Oracle of Ottawa has found this out from a very reliable source.... There is going to be a life sized awesome look-a-like of Sir John A. MacDonald(!!) at the very height of his great and august career. And just as Old Faithful goes off every twenty minutes down in Yellowstone National Park, Sir John is going to puke on his shoes just as he did in last campaign, deep in the throes of alcoholism and early onset dementia. Yes, the Oracle of Ottawa knows his Canadian history.

Well, it has come to the end of the day. The rotund James Moore and that skidmark from Barhaven, who does not required to be named, have made another great contribution to the 'Harper Government' legacy; that incredible ability to take something that was once whole and complete and transform it into something less...

Minister John Baird Blows Up! - (Already...)

Whose game was empires, and whose stakes were thrones;
Whose table earth, whose dice were human bones. 
Lord Byron, The Age of Bronze, Stanza 3

Well, well, well, the Oracle of Ottawa hates to say "I told you so" but the Oracle of Ottawa told you so, many times in this blog that the pin headed skidmark from Barrhaven would bring great disgrace to Canada if he ever was allowed power and here we are! It all started or rather "broke" late Sunday night, when the Oracle of Ottawa caught it on the CBC news page upon flashing up the trusty notebook. The big surprise was leaked by the British. A very good starting stab in the back, that will no doubt continue and deepen as the "special relationship" continues...

John Baird with his Foreign Affairs Think Tank....

But this early reaction was nothing to the utter spectacle and flaming that the mentally  challenged "minister" had to endure in Mondays Question Period! It was just utter bliss. Dip shit John Baird got his ideological ass kicked around the chamber of the House, man he was trashed. The Opposition was just awesome. Well come an hour or so later, Baird did make his announcement with the greasy William Hague the only leader of the Conservative Party of Britain who did not become Prime Minister  since 1922. For the overly grasping and ambitious John Baird this all should have come as an omen, but he still thinks an omen is a steam bath full of hot guys... What are you going to do?

Sensing the ensuing debacle that was rising faster than a hard-on a seventeen year old male, you could actually see the panic starting to come together in the folds of the ministers small brain. Why he was so proud of his actions and decisions that he just didn't have the guts to appear at an interview with his new buddy William for the state broadcaster, the good old CBC! Actually he was at a meeting, down the hall on the great white telephone, puking his guts out! All the sweat and backstabbing, all to be lost so early and forever.


The Opposition will run with this for months! Baird will be sitting so far in the back benches that they will have to bring him light with a shovel! One only has to work the angle of the 'Harper Governments' love affair of the military past of Canada as it won it's freedom from its Imperial overlord, only to be given away by a stupid skidmark pin head from Barfhaven!  Way to go 'Harper Government'!

It seems that the advice from all his good friends down from the Satmar is coming back to bite like a bastard! The 'Harper Government' is a lot like Richard Nixon, it never lets you down. A lot of this fiasco can be attributed to just hanging with the wrong people and not keeping the ministerial distance if you get my drift. Mark my words dear reader, it is the end of him....and the Oracle of Ottawa, truth to tell will love every day of it....

Lets watch the train wreck unfold....

'Harper Government' - High Tech Attawapiskat Genocide?

Virtually all ideologues, of any variety, are fearful and insecure, which is why they are drawn to ideologies that promise prefabricated answers for all circumstances. 
Jane Jacobs, Dark Age Ahead, p. 115

Well! Bet you didn't see this coming! Why, it was only yesterday, that I predicted that the 'Harper Government' had already peaked. Even I am scaring myself. (?) And didn't this outrageous scandal make for awesome Question Period? Since the Oracle of Ottawa has watched every Question period of this parliament, I can safely tell you Dear Reader that today was simply the best so far. The Oracle of Ottawa was sure that Bob Rae was going to pop a blood vessel! When "Premier Bob" is really pissed, there is no orator alive today, that can even hope to catch him when he gets to full flight. He was literally and physically vibrating! And Charlie Angus laid down the supporting covering fire, in and with his usual aplomb. He is so good at the outrage with restraint, it is just poetry to watch.  The Oracle of Ottawa was awed and proud to be a Canadian.

Attawapiskat Luxury Inn - Enjoy your stay!

 As you might expect, on a day such as this, that there were some people on the government side of the House who were wishing with all their being, that they could be just anywhere else!  One of them was John Baird, and as the Oracle of Ottawa predicted, he has realized today that he is in way over his head. He knew way more then any of  his peers on his side, how bad this was going to be and that it is now playing out all over the world. And that this is another terminal deadly screw up that is going to follow him around for longer than he cares to contemplate. The fall out from this will stream on for the rest of the mandate... Especially for that secret "ark" plan for a certain small Middle East state... That doesn't get along too well with its neighbours... And at the present rate it is going could be in the Med at any moment, I just can't remember the name, brain freeze!


Another thought,  Diane Finley has a big bill coming that will change all the charity rules in Canada forever. It contains a lot of that insane neo-con crap about Private Public Partnerships, which today is all but a smoking pile of wreckage! The Conservatives will constantly be reminded of that PPP between the Attawapiskat First Nation and that one very well known international diamond company. Totally cooked and doomed. All hat and no cattle indeed!

What?! - Wrong picture?

But there is one Hail Mary way out for the Conservatives to save the day. Here it goes. It is radical, but it has been done before and recently. If the PMO  wants to upgrade the Attwapiskat First Nation in record time, all they have to do is clear about 50 million dollars in slush money from some other government department, put Tony Clement on a Challenger jet with the instructions that there is going to be a G8 summit in Attawapiskat in 90 days! Just like magic there will be a college campus, (that would probably get used...), luxury condos, apartment buildings, gazebos all over the god damned place, and for good measure, the mandatory "fake lake". Not to mention a Mounty behind every rock and tree. (No extra charge...) 

Go Charlie Go!!

Baird - Lebel Tells: There Goes The Majority!!

'Tis impossible for the mind to preserve any notion of difference betwixt two bodies of the same nature existing in the same place at the same time.
David Hume, A Treatise of Human Nature, p. 41

When Olivia Chow stands to her seat in Question Period and all but losses her still strong Chinese accent and sounds like a matron that was born and raised Rosedale, you know the NDP smell blood! They smell the weakness and the fear like a pack of wolves which can tell which moose in the herd will be dinner tonight! Now group this with the blatant and oh so transparent tells of the front bench Conservative sock-puppet mental midgets and it is very easy indeed for most any blogger, even those that are not as intelligent as the Oracle of Ottawa, to immediately start writing about the future in advance of a minimum of two weeks!

Conservative Minister...

You know that the opposition has touched the royal blue g-spot when the old tells start to show. This was very apparent in the question period of September 27, 2011. All that stuff that the NDP and the Liberals are saying about "Two Tier" Tony Clement must be true! When ever they ask "Two Tier" a question in the House, the Minister fails to stand to his seat and be forthright with the people of Canada! Charlie Angus is feeding like Jaws at an orphanage beach day! It is the great man John Baird that takes the questions for old Tony. And during the Tuesday Question Period Minister Baird was talking very slowly and his voice has dropped two and a half octaves! All us old hands of watching Question Period knows what this means! The answer forthcoming is an answer, just not the truth...And it seems to be spreading! It seems that Minister Denis Lebel, in utter panic, has forgotten how to speak English under certain question topics about major infrastructure! This  blog writer surmises that it is the Ministers conflict with his inner PQ...Selling out can extract a large price bonhomme!!

Charlie Angus - Ready for Question Period...

It is hard to believe, but it all gets better! It seems the real right wing wacko's are stirring in their usual pathological frustration. One Brad Trost has unloosed Steve Harpers favorite ghost from the Tory hope chest. Yes that, "no abortion for any reason", hell cat has been re-loosed! Complete with the "resurrection" of one Charles McVety, I told the party whip that they should have used two stones to keep him from rising from the dead, but noooo...Sometimes a savings is no bargain. The majority should start to shrink any day now, just like I told you months ago.

And now Let Us Pray, my fellow Canadians, really, I am not joking...

Metternich? - Hell... Not Even A Kissinger!

A feeble executive implies a feeble execution of the government. 
The Federalist, Alexander Hamilton , No. 70

After being a Canadian for over half a century, it is not until now that I am truly worried about the future of Canada. Even during the darkest days of the October Crisis, when I could look out of the window of my grade seven class room in Arnprior and see a fully armed soldier in full battle dress standing guard at the front of Senator Greenes house, I knew this would only be a minor bump in the road of my countries history. Every one had every confidence in the government of the day.

It wasn't until now, that I realized, that you will not always have a ruling government in Canada that will not consist of the " best and the brightest" ! The ruling government of the Harper majority is proof of that... There is no one with multiple doctorates, damn lucky if some of the "ministers" finished high school! The one posting that has me very nervous, is John Baird as Minister of Foreign Affairs! This is not the Trudeau years!

To understand the point I am trying nicely to make, ponder the competition that Minister Baird will have to deal with! Check out the bio's of the other foreign ministers of say, China, France, Russia, England, United States...These countries know the world is a dangerous place, and must be handled with the greatest prudence, and therefore have sent up there best and brightest...John Baird is going to look like a teaspoon following a pack of steam shovels! Talk about in over your head! What is it that makes second rate men act like this?

I am glad I am retired. I am grateful that I am not at Foreign Affairs... And I fondly hope that the spinning in the graves of all those Great Canadians of the august past does not keep you up too late into the night! God Help Us All!!

Minister Baird demonstrates early and often, that he is totally on top of the situation. Can you imagine the long term effects on Canada's reputation in the world ? Come on world! Bend him in half like a paper clip, and do him till he pops like a potato chip! The dimmest bulb in the Walmart Cabinet...

John Baird - The Devastating Tell

I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.
~ Leo Rosten

Do you remember that Conservative Prime Minister we once had about twenty-thirty years ago? Do you remember when he lied his voice would get lower and lower? By the end of his period in office he was sounding like Feodor Chaliapin! Oy! Those were the days weren't they?

Cut to the present day. One the most infamous Tory's of the monstrous Blue Machine has provided us and will for a short time more, provide us, with entertaining mirth. I speak of course of the great man John Baird.
Have you noticed that when all is going his way, he is loud brash and slow? But when his little micro-dic is in the pencil sharpner his voice drops to a pleading near whisper and speeds up? I noticed this today as they old vulgar media caught him off guard on a question about misleading parliament on that rather epic money spending piss-up known as the G8 Summit held out in the sticks somewhere in Nowhere Ontario, I believe in the riding of one Tony (I didn't do it...) Clement! It was mighty entertaining...

Whadda ya mean? "I don't like Dim Sung"?

And were you watching when the Tory war room brain trust had him go out in front of the National Media to say very quickly and in a low, low voice how the Tory's were not going to gut the Federal Civil Service? Of course he was telling the truth! It then became quite obvious that the Tory secret agenda in a majority government is to dismantle our Health Care system. And just like that union busting governor in the States, some billionaire has probably offered to fly him down to an exclusive tax-haven to show him and all a "really good time" if as and when he can pull it off. My reward; a bag of quarters in front of the slut machine of my choice! I mean slot machine... Or maybe a speaking slot at the next Bilderberg Group hoe-down...

But as I have discovered, and related to you, something weird is in the air here in Ottawa. Things just are not going to turn as per the Tory playbook. Forces that have not ever been dealt with are at this very moment coiling themselves up in rage to strike down the evil man love empire.The case of the missing Tory campaign signs continue. There is hardly a one to be seen anywhere in Ottawa! Could it be that Mr. Minister Baird is soon to learn the meaning of "Flash Mob" ?

So the Tory blue sinking scum were lying at the time! Well, well. Notice the speed and pitch of Bairds voice. A classic tell.....

Reichsmarschall John Baird

I wrestled with my innermost soul: are these people human, worthy to belong to a great nation?
Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, Volume I, Chapter II, Years of Study and Suffering in Vienna, p. 41

The fat is in the fire, no pun intended...Although the Tory Bund is doing everything to put a brave face on it, in reality they are collectively, one and all, shitting there pants! All the money in the world. Damn, why more money then God! The best fart catchers that money can buy, the most elaborate war room in a Western democracy, yet still no majority! The most elaborate dirty tricks squad since the East German Stasi and the ruins of good people all over Canada and yet still no majority. What does this tell you? What is this election all about?

Reichsmarschall Baird

 This election is all about what kind and character of person do you want running Canada! This is about the fact that several places in Canada think they can send their right wing AM radio talk show "personalities", their high school drop-outs, and their college drop-outs to Ottawa! Look at the results! Four elections in seven years! Still no majority...

Herr Reichsmarschall ponders the future...

The American style campaign has really worked well, no majority. The low life American attack ads, still no majority... The Tory's love to slander the opponent with the endless lies and mis-truths. How is easy is it to slander a Tory? Like taking candy from a Rockcliffe Park baby!  You probably wonder who is driving, it is not the cabinet and the Prime Ministers Office but the directives of the Bilderberg Group! The only truth the Tory's have told in the last seven years is that no one runs Canada!

Inspecting the Boy-Scouts and the Nortel Retiree's

Let us send this nest of vipers and shit suckers to the opposition bench's forever! Let us take over the real Canadian agenda, not that of some secret society. Let us make this great country inhabitable for us! And not the stinking servants of  us, the corporations! Search in yourself. Ask the first and most important question any citizen can ask: What is in this for me?

 Yes! Vote Tory! Lets replace accountability with corruption for four more years!!