Theodore M. Porter, Trust In Numbers, p. 3
It seems like only yesterday that the Oracle of Ottawa witnessed the western idiot Preston Manning declare just after the 'Harper Government' majority that Canada is now all but gone over to the Dark Side of the political right. The Oracle of Ottawa, as a public service, to his worldwide audience has decided that it is time to let all the members of the Global Village know how this has all been working out for us here in Canada.
|African Rock Python - messenger of the Right...|
It was a packed church somewhere in the Canadian Province of New Brunswick today as several hundred mourners gathered for the double funeral of two young brothers aged five and seven, who were constricted to death by an African Rock Python several days ago. No matter where in the world you are as you are reading this, you have no doubt heard about this event through your local vulgar media. CNN International just loved it. It is quite true as you have probably suspected, that it is illegal in Canada to own this animal privately. And yes, we have (had?) a Federal Law that contains a huge list of scummy animals from the Third and other worlds that are not allowed in Canada, my once nice clean country, under any circumstances. Things like an Indian mongoose for example. But Dear Reader, did you know where the owner of this snake got it from? Sitting down? It was given to him by the provincial government of New Brunswick! Along with twenty six other restricted animals that the government seized! The Oracle of Ottawa can only imagine that the local governments budget has been cut so down to the bone that they could no longer afford bullets to do their mandated job. And the Right bears it's fruit.
|Preston Manning - God of the Right|
|Prime Minister Harper - Lackey of the Right|
Recently in the Province of Ontario, cancer patients in southern Ontario were informed that their chemo drugs have been discovered to be watered down by about 10%! The "honest mistake" was made by a private sector contractor, who's accountant must have figured that a one percent drop in concentration would result in a ten percent plus rise in profit. Who would ever know, right? And it certainly is not up to the Federal Government, or as it is now known, the 'Harper Government', to step into such situations and interfere with the divine workings of the Invisible Hand, is it? And the Right bears it's fruit.
In the northern reaches of the Province of Alberta, raw tar sand, otherwise known as bitumen, has started to mysteriously seep from the ground, and has been proven to be impossible to stop. It is now contaminating
the water table of a small band of Canadian Aboriginals, not to mention that lake and all its tributaries. Clean up costs are estimated to be in the tens of millions of dollars. The monster large oil company in question claims it is all news to them, or rather until the intrepid members of the local vulgar media found out that it is leak from a SAGD mining of tar sand in the immediate area, that has somehow found another route up to the surface of the Earth due to an unknown number of rock fractures. Now it is taken as Gospel out in the western Canadian oil patch that it is no business of the Federal Government to impose foolish and expensive restrictions on dollar seeking oil companies.(3-D sesmic is not that expensive, but it does cost money...) The market will take care of all that, along with the Invisible Hand. It is not the governments business to tell an oil company what to do. And the Right bears it's fruit.
Now we are out to Vancouver, British Columbia. Where upon this week it has been found that a local Chinese peasant has been running a dental practice out of a spare bedroom of his private home, in a very, well, somewhat nice street somewhere in Vancouver!! It hasn't been going on too long, only about twenty years! And the said buck-toothed peasant (irony?) didn't have too many patients, only about 1,500, well maybe a lot more than that, the police are still searching for his patient records, nothing yet. The said buck toothed Chinese peasant had very many dental tools, but from the video that the Oracle of Ottawa saw on the CBC newscast, it would probably be safer to get your dental work done at a GM dealership, at least my mechanics tools are bright and gleaming! Since there was no instrument sterilization equipment found as of yet, it has been recommended to all former patients to get tested for Hep A, Hep B, Hep C and while you are at it, get the AIDS test also. It seems that the Bucktoothed "dentist" was very popular with the high and low end downtown hookers of Vancouver Island. But certainly it is not for the Government of any level to interfere with an industrious person that just wants to make a buck for crying out loud
And the Right bears it's fruit.