Forty Inch Booty?

The greatest evil has already come about, when there are poor men to be defended, and rich men to be restrained.
Jean - Jacques Rousseau, A Discourse On Political Economy, 1755

I mean, how do you even measure that? Do you measure horizontally, or vertically? Or perhaps you measure from handhold to handhold? The Oracle of Ottawa has been out of the dating pool for a long time, but the desperate and varied interests of my Dear Readers never ceases to amaze the Oracle of Ottawa. It is time to solve another problem with the standard tools of logic and critical thinking.

Latina Velvet Booty...

It appears from some deep research on the internet, that booty is an American slang term for female buttocks. It also appears that booty has been of prime and intense interest going way back. (See earlier postings...) Why even the refined peoples of classical antiquity were very interested in their booty, and it kept many artists various occupied filling many and varied commissions for their rich patrons. Go figure.

For a young lad just starting out the Oracle of Ottawa recommends that you don't over do it at the start. You could ruin yourself before you mature into your prime. For a mere novice to attach himself to forty inch booty on his first run out is somewhat like driving the star ship directly into the first black hole on the horizon.But as you work your way up to it you will soon come to understand why men want to climb the highest mountains, and write the greatest American Novels.

As with all things, repeated and focused attention to the ultimate goal is all important. It is the greatest hope that maybe people ages from now will sing your booty chasing prowess in song forever.

Was Flight MH 370 'Hacked'?

It takes a lot of intellect and confidence to accept that what makes sense doesn't really make sense.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p. 84

At the time of this writing there are 1,178 Boeing 777's plying the skies of the world. It is Boeing's most famous and successful jet produced so far. Although the Oracle of Ottawa still believes in his old heart of hearts that the most famous Boeing jet of all time was the Boeing 707. The mighty 707 was the start of it all. And the best thing about the first legend is that a human actually had to fly it most all the time. There was no wussy 'fly by wire' crap, no GPS, it was damn near completely analog all through. If the Oracle of Ottawa ever gets to be as rich as a middle east sand spit oil sheik and could buy any jet he wanted, it would be a perfectly restored Boeing 707, with no computer goodies of any kind. Not even a cell phone.

Boeing 777 - Was it 'hacked'?

 The Oracle of Ottawa, like countless millions of other people, has been very intrigued by the never ending coverage of the totally baffling event of the missing Flight 370, until the Oracle of Ottawa realized that it sure as hell was proving to be a very good distraction from the really important story that just happened to be playing out at the exactly same time! And that event Dear Reader is the criminal land grab of Crimea by Vlad Putin and his oligarch gangsters. Genetic alcoholism, low self esteem and psychotropic drug abuse is not very constructive at the end of the day. 

It was while watching the endless footage on the vanished Boeing 777, that the Oracle of Ottawa for some reason thought of the very weird demise of journalist Mike Hastings. Who was witnessed and recorded on security cameras helplessly caught in a brand new computered up Mercedes Benz! That seemed to be driving itself. Until it was piloted in to the biggest tree on the street. Do you remember that one Dear Reader?
Then that big light bulb of enlightenment come on in the Oracle of Ottawas head again.

Could Flight 370 have been 'hacked'? Could someone have possibly accessed the electronic interface and taken over control of the plane? From where Flight 370 started to Bejing China was a six hour overnight flight. With the technology onboard you set the course and no doubt you could get the console to wake you up at dawn. The Oracle of Ottawa submits that that is exactly what happened, until the pilots realized the sun was coming up on the wrong side of the aircraft. Then they discovered that they were totally locked out from all controls. And being Asians they would not dare try anything dangerous or risky. Cause as all we gajins know, that is how they are raised. Am I right or am I right?

Now of course this pioneer hack was not performed by a first world teenager in his bedroom somewhere in America or the European Union. The Oracle would like to fly the premiss that it was a government that had access to a global satellite chain and the very sharpest digital hackers, that the spying of a very large nation state could provide. The only question that the Oracle of Ottawa can't decide is whether it was the Russians or the Chinese. Somebody should really look into the possibility of this insane theory, shouldn't they?

'Harper Government' - Dive Angle Becomes Acute

Some, like most bankers, are so unfit for success that they look like dwarves dressed in giants clothes.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p. 29

Well, my fellow Canadians, if you thought Peter Kent was a hoot at being the 'Harper Government's minister of environmental affairs, you ain't seen nothing yet! It seems that the lads, the punks in short pants, at the Prime Ministers Office has been saving the best for the last. How thoughtful of them! Somehow Joe Oliver has been named the Minister of Finance after the wee banty Jimmy Flaherty pulled the plug yesterday to get even with Jason Kenney for all those nasty true things he said about Rob Ford. 

Joe Oliver - Functional?

It all seemed like a good idea at the time when the Rob Ford scandal(s) broke wide open, for Jason Kenney and other Conservative leader hopefuls to get a free bump at the free cost of one of their fellow conservatives upon hard times. Yes Sir! If your not cheating, your not trying. It seems that the wee banty finance minister took fatal and catastrophic umbrage with his fellow conservatives. The wee Jimmy knew that if he pulled the plug out from the wall quickly it would cause a chain reaction very similar to the internal workings of a nuclear weapon upon its fatal mission. The wee minister was very astute.

Ed Holders vision of High Technology...

 There are so many people under the Conservative ideological bus that the wheels can longer touch the ground to get any traction what so ever. The buzz in Ottawa is that the only reason that Joe Oliver got the nod for the finace ministers job was that he just happened to be in Ottawa at the time of the disaster. He was supposed to be out West for a bunch of gigs when he forgot who we was again. To save any embarrassment to the Boss he was sent back to Ottawa faster than a lost set of car keys with a War Amps tag. Fate is such a bitch mistress, isn't she? The fatal and terminal chain reaction was started.

Joe Oliver was duly named to the post of finance minister. But solving one problem just causes another one. Joe Oliver was the minister of natural resources, or as is widely acknowledged in Ottawa, the Minister of Tar Sands. Someone had to be pressed into Joe's old job. But who? The problem was solved by Greg Rickford, a nurse with a law degree (?), would be a perfect patch into the Ministry of Tar Sands from his present post as Minister of State for Science and Technology!? Got that? Even my conservative readers, I am sure, can see the uncontrolled runaway reaction setting in now.

Now of course someone has to be Minister of State for Science and Technology! But there is no one left. As the baby fat candles burned late into the night at the Prime Ministers Office, by dawn today a solution had been cobbled together. A back bencher by the handle of Ed Holder, an economic refugee to Ontario from Cape Breton with a degree in philosophy from Western, according to his web site, will be the new Minister of State for Science and Technology.  Every fat, frustrated conservative in Canada from coast to coast to coast with a pen that writes in four colors will be overjoyed.    

Wee Jim Flaherty Cashes His Check! (Good Riddance)

It seldom happens, however, that a great proprietor is a great improver. 
Adam Smith, The Wealth Of Nations, Book III, Chapter IV

The greatest thing about the resignation of Wee Jimmy Flaherty is that the Oracle of Ottawa will never again have to look up the spelling of the word leprechaun! Canada did not survive the present turbulent past because of the Wee Jimmy, it survived despite him. And as long as the wee banty "want to be" lives, the history books will never allow him to forget it.

Wee Jimmy bails - Good Riddance!!

The Oracle of Ottawa knew we were in trouble way back around 2008, when the Minister proudly admitted during a press scrum that he never owned a stock in his life! He didn't fool around with stupid, dodgy, risky things such as that. Yes Dear Reader, lining up to buy your piece of Canada is for losers as far as the Wee Jimmy was concerned. The Oracle of Ottawa has always held the contrary view. And unlike the Wee ambulance chaser, he was able to retire at the age of 53. The Oracle of Ottawa has always believed in Canada, and has put his money where his mouth is at every opportunity. While some people with an excellent Ivy League education have to whore them selves out constantly to secure their place at the public trough.

The news of the momentus climb down came just after the stock markets closed at 4: 00 p.m. (E.S.T.) It has been reported by the 'State Broadcaster' the beloved CBC, that the wee banty minister phoned around to all the people that he thought would give a shit about his bailing after the close of the market yesterday. Well, it seems that the market has decided, it closed up over 137 points, increasing in value nearly by one whole percentage point! Yes Sir, Mr. Market is certainly sad to see the we banty minister off.

The actual reality is that Jim Flaherty was one of the, if not the worst, finance ministers in the history of Canada. Canada, again, survived, not because of Jim Flaherty and the 'Harper Government', it survived despite the 'Harper Government' and solely because of other greater men that have come before, and put in place a system so strong that not even idiots of the likes of Harper and Flaherty could do no lasting damage to it. There has been no Canadian politician that has such an ability to soil himself and our nest in public at every opportunity.

You keep hearing about that skin disease, the causes of which the Oracle of Ottawa are convinced are not physiological but rather pathological. The wee banty minister, was right from the start, in way over his head. He did not have a clue how the world really worked. All his right wing platitudes that he lived by all his life were proven in his time in office to be completely and utterly wrong and without foundation. That kind of reality check is not taken too well by fragile right wingers that confuse a bull market with their brilliance.      

The Oracle of Ottawa suspects that it all came to a head over the Christmas break last. Pondering the plummeting poll numbers and having the significant other call him Justin at a rather inopportune moment made up the wee ministers mind. There was certainly no way he was going to be in the House of Commons when the next Liberal government finds all the running fetid shit that has been swept under the carpet while he was running the watch...

NORTHVU NV20 Pro - Ottawa South - OTA Summary

The worst damage has been caused by competent people trying to do good; the best improvements have been brought by incompetent ones not trying to do good.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p. 89

Ever since the Oracle of Ottawa has found out about OTA or over the air HDTV reception, he has been on a mission. Perhaps it was all for the good that my Rogers Communications CISCO HD set top box died at less then 36 (much less...) months of service. Perhaps it is all for the good that Rogers overwrote my set top box software that stopped me from that pleasurable surfing that I once so much enjoyed. It has shaken the Oracle of Ottawa up, and he is determined to cut the cable company cord for good and forever.

Northvu NV20 Pro - (Waterman Pen not included..)

The Oracle of Ottawa purchased his first OTA HDTV antenna at a very posh and handy specialty tech shop, known to the Oracle of Ottawa as Home Hardware. There were several models on offer, and the Oracle of Ottawa had a bit of a choice. After reading the small print on the boxes carefully the Oracle of Ottawa selected the Northvu NV20 Pro, mostly because Northvu is a Canadian company, (based in Ottawa! who knew?), and that the design was so compact and elegant the Oracle of Ottawa knew the significant other would allow him to (a) bring it into the secure bunker, and (b) to keep it because it is so cute.

The handsome piece of gear came with very clear and easy instructions and a lot of cable that allowed for major experimentation in final placement. The setup was a snap and the Sony on board system was very easy to use. Did the scan a number of times, experimenting with placement etc. Finally the sweet spot was discovered in my sun room window, about four feet behind the Sony flat screen. With the unassisted NV20 Pro, the Oracle of Ottawa has gotten up to 15 channels! Honey cancel the cable!! So as a public service the Oracle of Ottawa has decided to list the 13 strongest stations that he can receive. In channel order.


CBOT - DT  Channel 4.1 - CBC Ottawa - 165 kw

CIII - HD Channel 6.1 - Global Toronto - Repeater located at Camp Fortune Quebec

CIII - SD Channel 6.2 - Global Toronto - 100kw

CBOFT - D Channel 9.1- French CBC Ottawa - 3.5kw

CHCH - HD Channel 11.1 -  Hamilton - repeater located south of Greely Ontario...25kw

CJOH - DT   Channel 13.1 - Ottawa CTV  affiliate, 19kw

OMNI2         Channel 14.1 - Repeater south of Greely Ontario, 15kw

TVO              Channel 24.1 - Repeater south of Greely Ontario, 95kw

CIVO - DT    Channel 30.1 - Gatineau repeater, 300.2kw

CHOT HD     Channel 40.1 - TVA - Gatineau, Quebec, 111.4kw

CTS-HD        Channel 42.1 - Cross Roads Television, Praise The Lord!

CHRO           Channel 43.1 - CTV2, Pembroke Ontario, repeater in Ottawa, 50kw

OMNI1         Channel 60.1 - Diversity TV, repeater in Ottawa, 15kw

Now all these stations are had with the unassisted Northvu antenna. Not too shabby. The Oracle of Ottawa ponders what difference a Winegard LNA-100 ultra low noise booster amp would lead to. The Oracle of Ottawa should try that and report back.

Rogers Communications - A Disintegrating Business?

You can replace lies with truth: but myth is only displaced with a narrative.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p.20

At the time of this writing the time showing on my Rogers cable box is 'dnld'. It has been doing that all day. What a nightmare piece of shit that purchase turned out to be! And of course the Oracle of Ottawa was stupid enough to actually buy his own box! At the time of the purchase of the Sony HD flat screen, the Cisco Explorer box cost me a whooping $225.00. To replace it today, it will cost over $300.00. Screw that, and Screw Rogers!

HDTV is free! Don't pay for it from Rogers

It was a  little over two years ago that the Oracle of Ottawa finally upgraded, and at first the Oracle truly enjoyed it. You could then surf through the channels at lightning speed. It was great value and a great experience. Then on last Labour Day weekend, it was a Friday, I remember it all so clearly, the Oracle returned home to see 'dnld' on the digital box screen. I turned the set on, and the nightmare started. You could no longer surf through the channels at lightning speed. All the cool information that was once on the set top box screen vanished. And you could no longer do a channel set up. With the cable package that the Oracle of Ottawa has there was about 200 channels spread out from 1 to 999. Try surfing through 1000 clicks to get to the channel you want to get to! The channels that you don't have you could once block out with an automatic set up. Now you have to suffer through an on purpose time delay installed pause in the new software that tells you that you don't get that channel, and to call to get that service! Screw that! And Screw Rogers!

When the Oracle of Ottawa called in this problem in he was in a total rage. What do you think happened Dear Reader? I had a third world packie piece of shit Temporary Foreign Worker actually laugh at me! Screw that! And Screw Rogers!

What would the sense be in replacing a $225.00 digital set top box with a $500.00 set top box that is still a piece of shit worse than the $225.00 box? If you don't believe the Oracle of Ottawa see any of the Rogers Forums online.

But there is an answer Dear Reader. Just quit giving Rogers and the adjoining scum your money, that's right, cancel your cable. And don't even think about that "wireless" (it ain't...) TV from Bell, if there is any communication company in Canada that is lower than Rogers, it is Bell Canada. The answer Dear Reader is to go OTA, which stands for Over The Air. The Oracle of Ottawa first discovered OTA while at my local Sears store. I asked the young lad where he was getting that awesome HD signal that was on a huge 65 inch Sony flat screen and he pointed to the TERK rabbit ears and adjoining Yagi array! The Oracle of Ottawa could not believe it! The reason that OTA is so much better is that it is not compressed. There is nothing as pure and as perfect as uncompressed HDTV. You can't buy it from Rogers at any price. The Oracle of Ottawa was inspired.

The next day the Oracle of Ottawa went to a local Home Hardware and purchased a Northvu NV20 PRO antenna. Took it home, hooked it up and put it in the window and scanned. Much to the Oracle of Ottawa's amazement, he got 15 pure HD channels! And you could surf through them like greased lightning. And of course uncompressed HD is just beyond words. Try it for yourself. The Oracle is planning to get the booster amp, and that will be all the Oracle of Ottawa requires.

Justin Trudeau - Waits For His Apology

Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever you shall bind on earth you shall bind in heaven: and whatsoever you shall loose on earth, shall be loosed in heaven.
Matthew 18:18, KJV

It was only last Sunday night when the media firestorm broke out, caused by a rather perceptive observation of the young Justin Trudeau, that it would be very likely that the wacked out Putin would probably soon take a run at the Ukraine. That mixed in bit about losing the gold medal in hockey to Canada was a nice touch from where the Oracle of Ottawa was sitting. The Oracle knew the young Messiah was very correct in his observation.

Spetsnaz - Russia's Seal Team 6

 Well, of course we all know of the immediate 'Harper Government' reaction. Not to mention that rather irritated Ukraine ambassador to Canada. The elite and awesome Justin just released too much information all at once for "ordinary Canadians" such as the skid marks that vote for the 'Harper Government'. But the young Messiah was a good sport about it all and went down to the Ukraine embassy and made it all into a very pretty photo op, by formally apologizing to the miffed Ukrainian ambassador. All in and done, and a nice spike to the ever climbing popularity.

Now flash forward to Thursday last. The Oracle of Ottawa first heard the news of the strange men taking over the buildings in the Crimea on the car radio, via that pesky State Broadcaster, CBC, while out enjoying the day. Classic shit, right out of a Tom Clancy novel. Probably Seal Team 6. I am sure that Putin has that one also. All of a sudden the young Justin looks pretty brilliant. But that is the way it is with elites with charisma isn't it? All of a sudden it seems that it is the 'Harper Government' that is in way over its head. And Steve Harper of the 'Harper Government' is just some one else' kid.

At the time of this writing it is Saturday night. The 'Harper Government' cabinet is still closed up in an emergency meeting. God, we are so fucked! Two thirds of them couldn't find the Ukraine on a map if their lives depended on it. The other third thinks that the Ukraine is a construction equipment rental business somewhere outside of Edmonton! All in folks, it won't be long now. We could all be going to the polls anytime...