Saturday, December 21, 2013

Global Warming - So Much For All That...

In the mythical mode this central or episodic product is the oracle. The oracle develops a number of subsidiary forms, notably the commandment, the parable, the aphorism, and the prophecy.
Northrop Frye, Anatomy Of Criticism, p. 56

When the Oracle of Ottawa was a young child growing up in North Eastern Ontario in the 1960's you knew it was winter when you couldn't see over the seven foot high snowbanks on the way to school. This invariably always happened way before Christmas, every year, without exception.Sort of like Siberia West. After New Years, you could count on at least one stretch of 20 below Fahrenheit cold that would last for only about four weeks, if it was a mild year.

Global warming in Ottawa ? - Not exactly...
When the Oracle finally made it to high school in the early 1970's, all you constantly heard about was that Club of Rome report that firmly stated that there was no chance that the Oracle of Ottawa was going to be around in the year 2013 writing something called a blog. Now if the Club of Rome report happened to be wrong, we were told that we were all going to buy it in the 'end times', Hal Lindsay said so. It was all in the Bible. Well, needless to say, all the deadlines came and went. The Oracle spent his youth flopping about the planet Earth in Her Majesty's service.

Sometime in the 1980's the Oracle of Ottawa got a grip and got his ass to college and a posh McJob in one of the very many levels of government in Ottawa Ontario. Then the next threat started, global warming, this is the one that was sure to get us, once and for all. The Oracle of Ottawa was all pretty skeptical at first. Then after a few near green Christmas holidays in Ottawa, the Oracle of Ottawa was sure that in his lifetime that palm trees would surely be growing on both sides of Saint Laurent Boulevard, just like on the Sunset Strip in California! And certainly if that happened, it would not be to long before the rising sea levels would allow the Oracle to enjoy the smell of the Ocean from his Ottawa South Bunker! Woo Hoo! Sign me up!

Then there is the actual reality. Reality is some fucking ignorant ain't it? It was on Wednesday last that the Oracle woke up to the Weather Channel stating that it was about -27 degrees C.! Oh and that wind chill was only -39 degrees C. or very nearly forty below Fahrenheit! And snow? It has snowed damn near every day it seems here in Ottawa. The Oracle couldn't even get regular gas for the Chevy on Thursday last. The local Petro-Can gas station in the urban core of Ottawa, the capital city of Canada ran out of gas. The Oracle of Ottawa got his palm tree seedlings to a warmer spot in the bunker and has put away the surf board.    

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