Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway, Letter to Dale, July 06, 1976, p. 628
Well it started out like any other day. Saint Valentines Day is coming and my " significant other " being very French expects a trip out for dinner. And she also expects at least a card, even if it is hand made with Crayolla crayons! After a nearly quarter century, you learn not to argue! To beat the insane rush of the actual day I have found over the years that the day before is perfectly acceptable. (Sunday February 13 2011) So it was off to the Mandarin Restaurant on 1137 Ogilvie Road. One of the best Chinese eatery's in the City of Ottawa. The parking lot was empty when we arrived. Most excellent! I am a genius! We were seated, and it was the usual crowd mix.
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| The gift of Globalization.... |
Coffee was quick to come, and the order was in. Ah, a nice quiet evening of most excellent eating.... Then they started coming! (17:45) A half dozen to a dozen at a time! Damn! A bus load! The Chinese Lutherans for Jesus! It really screws up the kitchen. and the rice quality can be affected as they water it down if they see they are, or may possibly run out. Damn I hate that!
I asked the waitress what the hell was going on? She replied; " private function in dining room, Canada - China Friendship Society". Then it all started getting really weird! There were the Gajun old white guys in there Imperial Dragon silk shirts! Then the Chinese guys dressed like characters in a Chinese Opera! Then when the comely Chinese honey's in the long silk faux imperial gowns with the side slit up to their arse I figured something really weird is on here! Complete with do-me heels, oozing whatever...complete with huggies! The old gajuns with advanced ricer obsession were coming back for seconds and thirds! There is nothing as disgusting to watch as a an old gajun with advanced ricer obsession! Like a head on an ether binge....
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| Hug me again, one more time! |
Then just as I thought I was going to be consumed by the vortex of the contemporary Canadian Dream, the exhaust fan gave out in the kitchen! Filling the place with invisible Imperial Royal Duck smoke! They caught it in time.. And the Haz-mat unit was not called...
Just when I thought this couldn't get any weirder, in walks Gentleman Jim Watson !? Then outcomes this simply stunning true petite honey in the most bitching red silk outfit I have ever seen (so far...). She assumed station, I mean never more than nine feet away like a magnet! Then I realized that there were a whole bunch of minor notables, and a great selection of fart catching want-to-bees. The optics of all this was not good. Where was the old style media? Where was this elected officials entourage? But who was that official looking Chinese guy in the dining room? Complete with the big haired protocol thingy... Some what familiar looking. I had a hunch but I had to wait till I got home to check it out...
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| Next! |
Then came the white rich middle aged women, way over dressed and trying way too hard! That is pathetic to see also folks... Meanwhile at a table near mine were the classic pimp and Ho combination... all Chinese ... Hmmm.... Then the Bar Haven "want a be" set came in their nike running shoes and Blackberry's I guess hoping for crumbs of business off of the Great Yellow Table.... (Bar Haven types couldn't find China on a map with a tutor!)
My fortune cookie was really different; "You may attend a party where strange customs prevail" No shit!
Latter arriving at home I checked Google and identified the very official Chinese guy...Are you sitting down? Zhang Junsai, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to Canada! Although all Chinese look the same to me, the tier 1 guys sort of really stand out....Of course I could be totally mistaken and the victim of incredible coincidences...of likenesses...Ya right, that's it....
After what I may have witnessed tonight, I have a much greater respect for this man. Perhaps you should to!
Richard Fadden must have balls as big as bridge nuts! What guts!
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