A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. Sir Francis Bacon, Essay LII, Of Ceremonies And Respects
Don't let it get you down my fellow Canadians and allied travelers, it is all just the master plan unfolding. After the puke up of budget 2013, another brick in the wall of the Canadian Inaction Plan, yet more of the Canadian social fabric has been dismantled. Why the wee finance minister was so proud of his latest work, that he boarded a plane for China forthwith, to enjoy the land of panda bears and lady boys, to inform the progress of the 'Harper Governments' true masters.
But the Oracle of Ottawa has realized that all is not for nought. Today was the last Liberal Party Leadership debate in Montreal. It seems that the newbie Justin Trudeau has raised over seven figures of money without even trying. One point three million or thereabouts. Many leftie Canadians eagerly await the arrival of their leadership ballots so they can at last, put the final nails in the 'Harper Government' coffin.
Then the Oracle of Ottawa had a rush of irony in realizing that all the work of the 'Harper Government' in the last ten years, is all but to amount to the clearing of the field for the second part of the 'Just Society' that appears to be well on its way to happening. With all the old structures of the Canadian social infrastructure all but already removed, it will be a dawdle to reconstruct something brand new and much better. You could say that the 'Harper Government' has fulfilled the role of a shitty John The Baptist!
But in the near future it is all going to get very scary for the Conservatives. The Oracle of Ottawa figure it will all start with the bye election of Penashue The Unplugged out in Labrador, Newfoundland. It seems that the chrome domed eminence of Steve Harper is going to have the election for sure, but so far is scared shitless to call it! What is he waiting for, Justin Trudeau to win the Liberal Leadership Convention?
Oh and who could forget the CBSA reality show debacle! Is Shaw Cable answerable to the Conservative Party Purity Committee in Ducks Ass Alberta also? If you want to stop illegal construction workers in Canada, just start putting the Conservative Party supporters that hire them in jail. The problem will be fixed in no time! And as for the rest of the right wing wacko's....
Certainly vain-glory helpeth to perpetuate a man's memory; and virtue was never so beholding to human nature, as it received his due at the second hand. Sir Francis Bacon, Essay LIV, - Of Vain Glory
If Marc Garneau dropped dead twenty years ago he would still be today a great Canadian. The first Canadian in space and a past president of the Canadian Space Agency, Chancellor of Carleton University, and he, still not having his ego satisfied, ran for Parliament and won the seat Westmount - Ville Marie in Montreal! The Oracle of Ottawa truly believes that Canadians are entitled to their entitlements, but holy crap, this Jean - Guy space cadet is already triple dipping!
Marc 'Barfey' Garneau
The reality is that once ole Marc was Canada's first space cadet, but now he is sixty three years old! Time stops for no man, and this goes for ex space cadets. By the time of the next scheduled Federal Election (2015), Marc Garneau will also be a senior citizen! He will then be QUAD dipping! As he will be getting his old age pension checks in the mail. Why is it that some guys just never know when to quit? And why would an old man want to be Prime Minister when he could be making up to five times as much just talking about his past exploits on the talk circuit?
The Oracle of Ottawa was quiet surprised that ole Marc put up the money to run in the present Liberal leadership race. What was he thinking? What the hell is he on? The Liberal Party needs a leader that can wet the panties. Marc Garneau hasn't wet a panty in decades. Of course the little old ladies that let go into their depends, while remembering how sexy Marc was decades ago, while watching Question Period, of course do not count.
It really irks the Oracle of Ottawa when ole Marc comes on to Justin Trudeau with slippery cheap shots. Justin Trudeau can win. Justin Trudeau can wet the panties. Like father, like son. The apple does not fall far from the tree, does it? The effect of Marc Garneau on the ladies is if you check into the matter deeply, is just the opposite! If he just stayed out of the way, and warmed a back bench seat quietly and refused to run in this leadership race, he would no doubt have copped a great cabinet portfolio in the next Trudeau government. Then there would have been the certain Senate appointment to follow.
But ole Marc will deeply regret his unbridled egomania. He will be lucky to get his papers signed for the next election....
The Just Society. Let us get ready for the second wave. Old men and women should get out of the way....
Any tension creates its own dialectic. Daniel Bell, The Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism, p. xxv
Well folks, it is all in all done. Now you can date the Liberal Party of Canada! For nothing! Isn't it grand? The lads in the 24/7 Conservative war room must be still laughing. But you got to hand it to Builder Bob! What a job of spin! This last Liberal Policy convention will go down into spin and fart catcher history. What a masterful job. There just has never been anything like it. And, no doubt, there will not likely be anything like it again.
Wall-e and Eve go home...
The Oracle of Ottawa has always wondered why there is something called the Sunset Channel in the vulgar media cable package. Now he knows. Now he knows indeed. Do you remember that big policy convention that the NDP threw, just before Jack Layton got ill? Did you watch it on CPAC? The Oracle of Ottawa did. There wasn't a whiff of a smell of any thing un-towards. The Oracle of Ottawa did not get the same impression when watching the machinations of the Liberal policy convention that just past. Why the Oracle of Ottawa got the feeling that he was the observer of a deep clandestine political operation, that was using all the tools and latest technology of the fart catchers and spin doctors art. The plumbers bag of tricks now contains no spanners.
But I know that there are some of you Liberal delegates out there that are very strong willed and independent. The statistically rare types that the Neuro-linguistic programming does not work on, no matter how strongly applied. But take heart. There is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that Builder Bob will probably be the next leader of the Liberal Party of Canada. The bad news is that he will probably be the last leader of the Liberal Party of Canada.
When will crowds out knowledge we call the result obstinacy. Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms, On Psychology, no. 10
It was early Saturday morning, and the Oracle of Ottawa thought he would check out the progress of that policy convention that the Liberals were throwing downtown at the big new Ottawa Convention Center. It was being broadcast live via CPAC. What the Oracle of Ottawa saw was not very uplifting. When I had tuned in all the liberal wall-e's were trying to vote on a resolution with their cell phones! Now of course their were the rich wall-e's with the latest I-Phone thingy's and they were done in a snap! Then there were the want to be wall-e's with the welfare bum budget phones, that just didn't seem to be able to grasp the nut of the exercise... It also could have been all those budget phone plans also, it seemed the poor wall-e's couldn't even get connected to the great red grid! Has the great dream of the Just Society come to this?
Wall-e and Eve do the Liberal convention in Ottawa...
There have been signs for weeks now...the news, that some contractor fart catcher wall-e came up with the brilliant idea that the Liberal Party should have primaries just like the hick Albertans and The Americans! Why if I wanted that I would have just voted Conservative! And then the worst possible scenario of old decrepit Bob Rae talking like Paul Martin, that he isn't really going to run for the leadership...God in heaven help us all...The bigger dick delusions born in the dorms of the University of Toronto just won't die, will they? Lets face it folks, the Liberal Party of Canada seems now to be just a bunch of terminal "grass eaters". Hoping for one more green field...
And what the hell was Rotman School of Management doing at a Liberal Party policy convention? And who was paying for all this? And doesn't Rotman have a marketing advisement contract with the Conservative Party of Canada? And if you ever owned a stock in your life, you know that to make money with Rotman advice you always do the opposite of what they suggest! They are consistent, but they are always wrong!! I guess the Liberal party of Canada is the perfect client! I hate to say it, but the way it looks now folks, there just doesn't seem to be a hope in hell.
Wall-e discovers another "device"... He doesn't have much luck with this one either! Alas.. the roach is a spy from the conservative party....
The Oracle of Ottawa has been following you in the oldvulgar media, and I must commend you on taking your new job as Interim Leader so seriously. I just about fell off my sofa when you mentioned the bit about ridding the Liberal Party of its "feudal elements" And they say that no one reads my blog! I really enjoyed that one! I would also like to commend you and the party for putting off the leadership convention for a couple of years... It will give more time for the next Three Wise Men to rise up, just like Trudeau, Marchand and Chretien did all those years ago. We so need the next ones. My Rosary has been getting heavy traffic as of late. I never thought as a Liberal I would have to resort to divine intervention. But the Oracle of Ottawa is a pragmatic bastard, if he is nothing at all!
Liberals need a lot of this lately!!
As you are no doubt well aware Bob there was that huge surge of new party members just after the last Federal Election. All of us new party members in Ottawa - South are wondering where are party cards are? Why is it that I have the feeling that if I went to the NDP site right now and bought a party card I would have my shiny new NDP membership card in less than five business days? We fear in Ottawa - South that there is a massive Geritol struggle among the remaining hulk of what was once the great Liberal Party. Give it up Bob! You are not going to be Prime Minister! And neither is David McGuinty or any of the other remainders! Assure your place in history by readying the Party for the next Three Wise Men!
But that doesn't mean that you can't have fun with it in the mean time! It amazes me that the Liberal Party has tolerated the abuse of low life hick conservative attack ads? Don't hire a another spin agency! You have the Young Liberals don't you? Geez, the young of today know everything about doing some one up on "social media"! Let 'em loose Bob!
You have got to admit that the front bench of the present government is, all in, the weakest collection of screw ups and misfits that even make the NDP look brilliant! And Bob they did look very brilliant during that last 58 hour debate that you backed the conservatives to stop! By the way the Oracle of Ottawa was not very impressed at all with that. What was wrong, did you guys run out of clean shirts or Geritol??
Candidates:
John Baird: Now, if there was anybody that was in over their head, this is the guy! And proof of that is at You-Tube. Hell it is just sitting there waiting to be deployed! Why allow this petty thug a free ride?
Two Tier Tony: Talk about a wanna'be! He may have a thick skin but all these conservatives have very frail egos, and a real thick electorate! As soon as there boy is not cool any more they will drop him like last weeks Walmart flyer!
Bev Oda: I mean geez, this poor woman is so pathetic, a mere huff and puff and the whole structure would come tumbling down! Do you get the feeling like I do that she doesn't quite add up? You should look into this real close....
Jim Flaherty: How hard can this be? Weee Jimmy... For all intents and purpose the guy is essentially nothing more than an ambulance chaser! Now the angle here is all his bluster about how he favors the free market and Adam Smith ete. etc. Ask him how many stocks he owns! Ask him about what he really thinks about stocks.. The NDP and all of Canada would just love it!
Now there is the start Bob. You are in the House darn near all the time. You would know even better then me were all the weak links are! I know you don't like the principle of the thing and all. But bite the bullet of ethics, do it for Iggy and the future Three Wise Men! Do it for Canada!!
Here is a perfect example Bob! This was put together by a one sole person at home, for fun, for nothing!! Turn loose the Young Liberals! Have contests! Prize winners get aired on national television!! Chop! Chop! of you go Bob!!
A country, after all, is not something you build as the pharaohs built the pyramids, and then leave standing there to defy eternity. A country is something that is built every day out of certain basic shared values. Pierre Elliot Trudeau, Memoirs, p. 366
It was with the greatest relief that I heard of the most excellent news that it will be you that will be the Liberal Party interim leader. In my humble opinion there was just no one else to call on at this critical time. The Oracle of Ottawa has been a fan forever. One of my fondest memories is you flaming the pompous William F. Buckley Jr. on his own TV show. That was a long time ago. You haven't changed a bit! Well, okay, your even better looking today. You seem to have very close connections to the Liberal Party hierarchy, and I hope you pull all the strings and anything else you can get a grip on, and flush the last remanens of the Paul Martin Seignorial elements out and down the drain of history. Give the Liberal Party back to its members!!
Bob Rae - Always Fab...
And Bob, I truly hope that you aren't going to try to pull a Machiavelli! Canada and the world, hopes to high hope, that you pull a Cardinal Richelieu ! Geez Bob you have already tasted power, and if I remember, in your biography, it damn near killed you. We don't need you as Prime Minister, Canada and the world needs you as Canada's Minister of Foreign Affairs! Forever! Well okay, three terms minimum...(Then straight to the Senate with ya!) Leave the back slapping, baby kissing, and panty puckering to the youngsters! You and only you can be the power behind the throne. Take the Nobel Peace Prize Bob, not the pain in the ass keys to 24 Sussex Drive! Trust me on this one...
The years of rebuilding ahead do not have to be without mirth and joy. May I suggest a Truth Squad as per the days of Judy LaMarsh? It will be great press and it will keep the hands busy and the party faithful rolling in front of their TV sets in shock and laughter. Remember Bob, an eleven seat majority is not a majority, it is just the result of one very weird lucky day...
Well old friend it is getting late. And with John "Rusty" Baird as Foreign Affairs Minister the Oracle of Ottawa has been losing a lot of sleep as of late. Although I do predict that he will hit it off perfectly well with his oppo in Germany...(Nod, nod, Wink,wink...) By maintaining strong House discipline and a good working and cordial relationship with Vladamir Jack Layton I strongly feel that you can keep the damage level down to a minimum. Until the Leadership Convention I remain...
The Oracle of Ottawa
Every project needs a theme song....
Anger be now your song, immortal one, Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous, that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss and crowded brave souls into the undergloom, leaving so many dead men--carrion for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done. Homer, The Iliad, Book I, Quarrel, Oath, and Promise, Lines 1-6, Robert Fitzgerald Translation
Dear David:
Having survived this last fiasco, with all your usual aplomb and grace, Dawg, you can be my Prime Minister! How about this for a campaign Tag line? David McGuinty; Mackenzie King without the weirdness! We gotta do something! I can't let Canada and Ottawa South turn into freakin' Texas! It's all settled here. The wife is on board. We are going to order up are Liberal Party cards forthwith! If the leadership convention is in Ottawa we will be there! And why do I figure you will take it all in the first ballot? I got a few bushes to beat and I think I can get a few more people on board, no problem. With you at the helm Dave I see a four termer with no theatrics. I hate this change crap. I want a dynasty!!I want the Conservatives so far in the wilderness that they start herding sheep in Alberta! I want Steve Harpers nickname in the history books to be "Dief."
Prime Minister Mackenzie King
I just want the Canada that I remember so fondly as a child. The toleration, the boundless and unlimited future, a member of a nation of a people above... (you can use that in your acceptance speech...) I just want the Canada I have always known. And when you are at that next caucus meeting, get on about that stupid Party interference! The party structure should ensure the process of allowing the members and the voters to select their own candidates and riding members! If some riding picks a candidate with two heads and seven supernumerary nipples, that riding has a candidate with two heads and seven nipples! Dona and done! The last remanent's of the feudal system died out in the early 20th century. Not that long ago. Your job Dave is to eradicate the last remaining bits in the Liberal Party structure. No more drop in candidates.. No more it is his time... That will be decided by the party delegates.
Prime Minister David McGuinty?
The mighty Liberal Party has been in this situation before. I looked it up! It was the stomping of 1958. When you figure in that there were then only three parties and not five, and there was less than 300 seats up for grabs, not 308 as per today.. The situation of today is roughly proportional to the situation of 1958. And out of that wreckage we got some of the finest Prime Ministers in all of Canadian history. History has come full circle. It is our time, our greatness, our creation!
Some light briefing notes...All in, a hell of an act to follow... But your up for it Dave.....
But even as they raved, you could hear a hollow kind of paranoid uncertainty in their voices, as if they could already feel the ebb tide sucking around their ankles... Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Limbo: The Scum Also Rises, Rolling Stone, #171,October 10, 1974
It was just this Friday past, that I saw the first of Ryan Keon's shiny new Liberal campaign signs out on Robertson Road, in not one of the better Ottawa neighbourhoods. And somehow this guy looked real familiar... By all appearances, and the trusted aspects of first impressions that the first sight of an unknown fellow human brings, I knew right there and then that this was certain death for the political career of one Pierre " Little Polly" Poilievre! The mighty Liberal machine has awoken from its slumber and finally found a Cadillac candidate to run against one of the most despised Tory's in the Ottawa area.
I like you, have winced in agony, disgust and deep embarrassment at every sleazy misstep this young punk " Little Polly " has managed to get himself into. The Oracle Of Ottawa resides in his fortified bunker somewhere in Ottawa South, and has much to be proud of regarding the quality of the representatives that this riding has historically sent to Parliament Hill and Queens Park. For the decades I have resided in Ottawa South I can not recall one incident of vandalism on any candidate running in any level of any civic election.
"BACKFIRE"
Cut to this morning. A Sunday at home, following my much coveted "Sunday Routine" of much reading and many coffee's. I turned on the television to CTV News Channel to get a quick update on the pulse, and was utterly disgusted and aghast when those same shiny new Ryan Keon signs were shown vandalized, by a cross and a circle. At first I didn't get it! I thought it was an occult satanist symbol. But when the commentary continued to explain that more than 100 of his campaign signs had been vandalized in the same manner and hand, well, I felt that bubbling of a wave of rage and disgust rise from deep and dark within me...This is Ottawa, the seat of Federal government in Canada! Not freak'n Florence in the early 16th century!
While out to my local mall on the Sunday stroll, I copped an Ottawa-Sun which had a very good one page spread on the incident. The symbol was that of a crosshair, the image you see looking down a sniper scope. Then I got it! It was of the same style and type as the Sarah Palin web site used! (SarahPAC) This citizen is not amused! As a matter of fact, this citizen is sorely pissed! And you should be to! Still, this Ryan Keon looks weirdly familiar.. I made a mental note to check him out on Wikipedia after several social engagements the Oracle Of Ottawa is want to do on a Sunday...
Upon returning to the fortified bunker after a fine non corporate dinner, somewhere in Eastview , I got down to the Ryan Keon article on Wikipedia. And I was stunned to find out that Ryan Keon is Doctor Wilbert Keons son! And that "Little Polly" is screwed for sure! He is totally outclassed. Compare the articles... In this race "Little Polly" will look like a tea spoon following a steam shovel, well, rather, I would have to say a very large drag-line excavator! If the good doctors son has one tenth of his fathers royal jelly he will make a fine and long member of the next Parliament.
It was 1973, my father was felled from a massive heart attack at the Gillies Mill office in Braeside Ontario. He was not found for over 45 minutes.. He had just turned 39. When they wheeled him into the Arnprior General I saw him, his face I will never forget.. grey, blue, purple, and a really weird shade of green. They rushed him to the Civic in Ottawa. They gave him 90 days to live. Once when all us kids went to visit him a young doctor entered the room and he looked all the world then as Ryan looks now and said " Tom, I wonder if we could try a new procedure...". I was up to Arnprior today, to see my Dad... He is pushing 80, not daisy's...
We got a lot of work to do in Ottawa. This town is soon going to be a Tory free zone....
The premise of neo-conservatives is that markets left to their own devices will produce the best possible result, and that political interference is not required. This defies the human reality that people are not commodities, and simply refuse to behave as if they were.
Bob Rae, The Three Questions, Chapter two, p. 39-40
The siege of sleaze of the cosmopolitan Tory's is nearing the end. Ottawa in the last couple of years has been a lot like Washington in the last day's of the infamous Nixon administration back in the 1970's. And this to will pass, like a Taco Bell burrito, lovingly made by an attendant who has just cleaned the toilets without wearing the gloves, and forgetting to wash his hands. The event will be "moving" at the time, but will soon be forgotten... And most certainly, just like getting rid of the Tory's, you will probably be required to flush twice.
The local vulgar media laments at the fact that the Tory poll numbers have not budged in the least. Two local ridings now presently held by the two most prominent members of the Tory man love triangle, have real comers to run against this time around. Plus all the victims of the Tory Stasi are joyfully waiting for the moment to pound one more blue stake through the heart of the Tory beast, come voting day on May second. What goes around, comes around. This is not to be confused with an eleven way, Mr. Baird....
Meanwhile out in Kanata, a certain geriatric train wreck, at the age seventy something, is truly beyond his "best before date" by at least a decade! If he pulls it out of the fire one more time, it will be a wheel out to the Day Room after Question period... Not anything that will inspire a lot of confidence. You know, a lot like the last parliament!
A lot of people ask the Oracle of Ottawa if Pierre "Little Polly" Poilievre is as creepy in person as he appears to be on television. The Oracle of Ottawa must inform you of the truth. That is a total lie! "Little Polly" is ten times creepier in real life! A force field of radiant evil emits from his angelic visage, it is like looking at Henrich Himmlers baby pictures. His husband holds the riding adjoining.... But I digress.
Iggy for PM! Its on and damn near in and done already.....
