Why Canadian Insurance Sucks!

But a thing cannot be its own symbol.
Karl Marx, A Contribution To The Critique Of Political Economy, p. 111

Most people hope that history in their lifetime will unfold in a gently upward linear line. There goes the Oracle of Ottawa confusing yesterday with today again. I was thinking of all the better things of yesterday and my mind crashed into insurance. Remember all the choice one had? Where oh where have all the Canadian insurance companies gone? Gone to corporate consolidation, every one...Many of the great and grand Canadian insurance companies of the past were set up explicitly to provide insurance at a reasonable rate for the "insureds" and the "annuitants", these companies were owned by their policy holders. Do you ever remember one of those grand old companies dragging or stiffing a payout? Thought so, neither do I...

What insurance should be...

Then around the 1980's it seemed that the snot nosed MBA geeks thought it would be a great idea to takeover by any means possible all these stiff competitors. And many started to vanish into the maws of the colossal corporate whores. If you want to follow along just go to Wikipedia and check out the List of Canadian insurance companies. Pretty interesting isn't it? If by chance you are an old school insurance nerd you will probably add the missing ones, I know the list is not complete and thanks in advance!

If you are the average-joe, anywhere in North America and especially in Canada you must have noticed the nasty turn of attitude and events with your corporate insurer. Upon reflection, I noticed a real change after 9/11, but the reason upon even more dangerous reflection had nothing really to do with it. This was also the time that the corporate colossal whores were just then discovering that selling insurance to asian barbarians, just out of their rice paddies is a very hard dollar indeed! Not to mention the the ever increasing grease required for the local party officials! But Canadian corporate insurance companies are a lot like American Republicans digging a hole, when it starts to fall in on you, you don't quit, you just go and get a bigger shovel!
Well guess what? You and I here in Canada are the shovels! Flattered? No?

Maritime Insurance -1786 -

In recent years this has caused a silent wall of horror stories in the large insured corporate groups here in Canada. It seems that the snot nosed geeks discovered that you could boost the bottom line by corrupting the people in the benefits office and splitting the huge difference with the guilty parties...Like when you take over from a competent insurer and then charge more for the life insurance and then lower the coverage without letting the insured know! If you not cheating your not trying, right? Then harass the life insurance holders with the smoking coverage, that they are paying a premium for, until they no longer respond and use that as the reason to charge more and lower the coverage again! (cover me...Lord) But the real gold is in the long term disability coverage! If you can get away without paying for the cancer types and the queers that go a downer because of terminal Aids you have a virtual gold mine! Especially if the group is over 10,000 members in size! The snot nosed geeks figured out a sure fire method here to.

N. Bowditch, The first American actuary...

What you do is simple and plain on the surface. You get all those worthless goners with cancer and Aids that are surely sandbagging the system and you require them to get their doctors and specialists to write up an essay on and about what was done on each visit! Of course the medical types have no time for this and when the required "essays" are not coming in you simply cut off the "insureds" pay and or benefits! Brilliant! They will usaully commit suicide all by themselves. Results? Bottom line fat as hell! Make sure all the "accomplices" get a free week end at that water front cottage! If you can corrupt the union garbage, bonus, let them have a taste to! LOL!! Too easy! (cover me...Lord)

But what is an honest man to do today? Well, the Oracle of Ottawa will not only bitch, but he will provide you with some good practical tips to survive the snake pit of corporate insurers. First thing, take only the absolute minimum from your employer. For decades this was the best deal for the average Canadian, but sadly this is no longer true. Do you have a father or mother, brother, sister or uncle, aunt that is a an Anglican Minister or an Ontario School teacher? Or is your spouse a federal or provincial civil servant? Investigate these insurance options. If you are not from this slice of the social strata fear not...

Investigate Fraternal Orders! They have excellent insurance! For example the Independent Order of Foresters! Another Fraternal order that I discovered and was really surprised by was the Knights of Columbus! They not only sell insurance but hold the highest A. M. Best rating, one of only two in all of Canada!! I always thought that they only held great fiddle contests and wicked bean suppers! It seems that the best insurance deals are discovered not marketed and sold!! Good luck and if you know of any other excellent deals in this mode pleases leave a comment!!

Who knew? The Knights are kicking insurance ass...way better than corporate insurance??