Sears Canada - Ain't What It Used To Be...Wait For Target...

Real personal catastrophe consists in corruption of the soul.
Bryan Magee, The Story of Philosophy, p. 22

Well, The Oracle of Ottawa knew that it would happen someday. I would push the start button on my Kenmore Portable 4 Season Home Comfort Unit, Model 461-35358 and it would not answer the call. It lasted sixteen summers! That is over three times its warrantied life! The Oracle of Ottawa loves good gear! Even in its demise it tried, all the lights came on the fan whirled, but the cool ghost of the machine had departed. There was that ominous sound of bearings that were whirling in no particular direction. It was all over. I remembered in panic that the parts were no longer available, it went off Sears support, I was told over five years ago. A little bitty tear rolled down my cheek...

Doomed By China and Incompetence?

I had the vivid memory of the day the wife and I decided to make the purchase at Sears, St. Laurent in Ottawa, Ontario. These units were brand new, and very expensive. At a thousand dollars I had to be sure. I checked all over and could find no "Made in China" written or printed anywhere, so we bought in total confidence. The cord was long enough, the exhaust hose seemed  to go on for ever. The design was brilliant! You could control the airflow, not only left - right, but up and down! And it was built to last! The freaking thing weighed over a one hundred pounds easy! It had industrial design presence! And it served well! Damn! More than a decade and a half of pleasant cool! Never a balk or anything frightening! Many happy memories of a wise and prudent purchase!

But today is today. It is August in Ottawa and it can get as hot as Dubai! I had to "source" a replacement and immediately, if not sooner! Although a comparable unit cost around only half as much, and weighed a third less, the Oracle of Ottawa was nervous. All the product descriptions claimed bucket free and double condensor technology, never dump that bucket again! Well, truth be told, the Oracle of Ottawa loved dumping his bucket! You can't bullshit the cooling power of a full bucket on a hot day!

Founder, Richard Warren Sears - Spinning in His Grave?

 After the progress lecture from the wife and my promise to be on my best behavior, off we went to the Sears Home Center on Innes Road, the major furniture and appliance outlet of Sears Canada. Hoping to meet one of those famous Sears big ticket salesmen of the past, many of whom grossed over 100,000 bucks a year back when I was a teenager...But I was awoken from the daydream by a fat jacky punk that had "minimum wage" written all over him. He informed us that he had what he had. He didn't know his product. After some pointed questions he also proved that he didn't pass Ontario high school physics! When he realized that I viewed  in the light of a brain dead moron he started his "don't be aggressive routine" ! It never even crossed his mind to "sell" me. He was just a desperate order taker... Time to go...

We ended up at Sears St. Laurent way before lunch. They still had the Kenmore Elite A100E model that I had selected and the rep told me that they had 1,000 units in stock, in the box. So barring my silly doubts we purchased. Down at the loading bay the box would not fit in the car. Back upstairs to book delivery. No more "Gold" delivery. Don't expect Sears to help you dispose of your old unit. That is so yesterday you loser! The nearest delivery date we were told was Wednesday next. This was Thursday morning! In front of a long weekend! Then the SL*T brings up the operating system on her old Hercules monitor and looks the wife straight in the eye and says " For an extra ten dollars we can get "expedited" delivery from the DOS (Disk Operating System) shipping company for Saturday coming!" (Between 8 a.m.- 6 p.m.)  I just about lost it! But I promised the wife...and bit my tongue...

Avoid at all costs!! Wait for the coming Target openings....

A nice young lad from Sears (really, no doubt a poor screwed contractor...) delivered the Kenmore Elite A100E interior air conditioner to my door Saturday morning,  a perfect job. (Poor bastard...) I had it all hooked up in less than five minutes. And as I feared, the exhaust hose was way too short! But I kept the old long one and it was luckily the same size...The power cord was way too short also, but I covered this buy buying a UL/CSA approved power bar that made up for the Sears cut corners. And I had the unit going and left the wife in cooling (?) relief at about 1:30 p.m. 

Returned at 5:00 p.m. to find that the unit was still going but the humidity had only dropped 8.00%. Not very impressive! The air coming out numbed your hand quickly, meaning that, as I feared, that the moisture in the air was simply being recirculated as I suspected and feared! I smiled through... I promised the wife... Later in the evening I turned on the "Smart Mode" and in about three minutes the power bar kicked out! (A 15 amp Power Bar with a 9.00 amp load!)  This is not good. Perhaps I did something wrong. Reset the power bar and employed the "Auto Fan Mode" Five minutes later the power bar shuts the unit down again! Reset the power bar and turned on the fan as it was cool enough to shut down the unit...

Sunday night, after a day out, turned on the unit and as the compressor kicks in the power bar shuts it all down! This happened in every mode! Called the phone number in the manual to clear up something that no doubt I had done and ended up talking to a nice young lady in the Phillipines! (No doubt her other job was "cam girl") Who was marketing me from a script that covered everything but my immediate concern! Another attempt got half way around the world in just the other direction! Same script, but this guy was a lifer of Indian call centers! Trying to talk in the same idiom as a natural born Canadian! I had him in less than 15 seconds! It is great that Sears is taking care of the customers....  

I truly think that Mr. Ron White has the right idea. More of us have to start thinking about Sears like this!!