Does Bitcoin Add Up?

Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.
Hunter S. Thompson, Generation Of Swine, p. 87 

The Oracle of Ottawa first heard about Bitcoin on the old vulgar media via television, and more than once.  Bitcoin is a digital currency that is supported by a peer to peer electronic cash system. No one really knows where it all came from. But all the nerds and geeks assure the reporters of the old vulgar media that the open source code is written not of this earth. When they say this their eyes sort of gloss over in nerd adulation. This is when the Oracle of Ottawa's bullshit detector went off in alarm mode.

An un-virtual Bitcoin

The developer of Bitcoin is some entity named Satoshi Nakamoto. Of course no one has ever seen the character, and as to the time of this writing his location and true identity remains unknown. This all started back in 2009. The big selling point is that there is no government(s) in any part or parts of any Bitcoin transaction. It is sold as the new money for the whole world without any government interference. It also seems that even the corporate over whores cannot sink their teeth into the system either. And of course this another great selling point.

 Especially if you are laundering money for what ever purpose. Or perhaps you wish to support a cell of people who you would rather not anyone question the intent of, if you get the Oracles drift. It would also be great for certain secret operations of a large national intelligence agency that wants to leave absolutely no trail. In other words most of the traffic on this peer to peer network would be of the illegal kind. This fact alone should give an intelligent person pause for thought, shouldn't it?

A Bitcoin mining rig

Since 9/11 the United States and its allies have gone totally nuts in the war on everything, including the war on your personal liberties as a citizen. Great honking security edifices have been buttressed and or new ones  erected. There have been grumblings as of late, as in, we have gone way to far with all this. Of course as in all government departments, one has to constantly appear useful, or ones budget will certainly be not raised in the next budget cycle, or even worse, one could see budgets cut drastically.

After about thirty seconds thought it fully dawned on the Oracle of Ottawa who the real creator of Bitcoin was and why. The real parent of Bitcoin is the NSA. One of its major users is no doubt the CIA and other allied security agencies. The whole premise is very simple. If you want to track down terrorism, tax evasion, drug running, gambling and most any other crime you can name, simply provide the perfect ap for it to be done! Listen closely, until something big brews up, or the government departments brew it up, whatever, we need busts to justify our budgets and our existences. Trebles all round! Any questions?   

On The Fat Cats Of Ottawa

It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy, (film)

It is one of the most common myths in Canada that Ottawa is the home of fat cats. As per all rumors propagated by the Conservative Party of Canada this fact is grossly exaggerated! For all the peoples that have lived in the Ottawa area who descend back to the time before Ottawa replaced Bytown, having a fat cat in the house was considered a tactful display and sign of prosperity and benevolence. There is nothing like a fat happy cat in a home. Why would anyone resent that?

Junior says "I am not fat, just big boned..."

 Many fat cats are very deceiving due just to the first conclusion and observation by guests and strangers. The biggest misconception is that all fat cats are sickly and soft. If the said fat cat is a country cat, just outside of the modern City Limits, this is usually the first fatal error! Reality and the pet test will soon confirm that many fat cats are in fact as hard as a steel utility pole! And that everything beyond the diet kibbles was caught by the said fat cat with his own skills and feline expertise! Many rural residents report that after "dinner" there fat cats always want to go out to the nearest field to get the remaining five courses!

Junior says "The dog and the tory's can eat later..."

Another depressing popular misconception is that all fat cats are micro-controlling rage heads that are never for a moment at peace with the world or themselves. These fat cats would like to dispel that myth by reminding all peoples from outside Ottawa that not all cats are resident of 24 Sussex Drive. Please update your Rolodex!

Junior says "I know how to live..."

The most fatal mistake that a stranger can make is holding the stereotype that all fat cats are sluggish, slow and stupid. Fat cats greatly resent this. You don't get chewed up by Kingfishers and Badgers on a regular basis due to the fact that you are trying to rip their dinner off by being sluggish, slow and stupid. An amazing amount of fat cats have incredible speed.... Be careful.

Junior says "I,m  WHAT...??!!"

So for all you newbies that are just passing through the fair city of Ottawa getting your little corporate whore career card stamped on your pathetic road to oblivion, beware of making the wrong conclusions in any dealings with the fat cats of Ottawa!

Here is a tune that all cats can enjoy.....