Alain de Botton, The Consolations of Philosophy, p. 33
If only the present members of the Conservative Party of Canada spent as much time in the Library of Parliament as they do at the members cafeteria and other assorted deep troughs that Ottawa has to offer, Canada would be experiencing a golden age not seen since Classical Greece! The Oracle of Ottawa can only go on what he has observed this week from the daily Question Period tapes and from the media releases. And it is such early days, and already the wheels are starting to wobble on several shaky wagons. It has all come as a real shock to the Oracle of Ottawa.
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| Mr. Creosote does dinner.... |
Most of the cracks are beginning to appear in the front row of the cabinet ministers! One of the most glaring is that of poor James Moore, the ever enlarging, of late, Minister of Canadian Heritage. Is it just me, or is the brightest bulb in the wallmart cabinet transforming into Mr. Creosote before our very eyes? As far as I can tell it all seemed to start at the big victory convention held in Ottawa last summer. The mouth breathing hicks from out west started on him about being too liberal. And dissing Miss Krista on that Sun News TV interview. What of course they were really telling Jimmy was that he was getting way too popular! Poor James is in reality a hell of great guy. The Oracle of Ottawa can tell. A grand Liberal born into a backbiting, grasping, backstabbing Tory world. I figure when the heat gets turned up good and high he will cross or sit as an independent. The Opposition I am sure are keeping a list and they are checking it more than twice.
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| All queer art - back to the darkest vaults! |
Then there is the horizontally challenged Minister of Labour. With her face becoming more ashen and fuller by the day, along with the desperate need for a fashion coach not to mention a personal trainer! Who would have thought the being at the top was ten times worse than the ride up? Welcome to Ottawa Minister! And the press! They are worse than a blood hound after an escaped convict!
Now we come to the Health Minister, who already has that glazed "deer in the headlights" look. What is this poor thing going to do when it gets real hot? Ottawa is no place for the challenged of cerebral density! It is not near a hundred days and already you can detect the jumpiness at Question Period. Not a good sign!
As the Bach recording is coming to an end so must this missive. And I have saved the worst till the last. Of course I am referring to our vertically challenged leprechaun of finance. When a Minister of the Crown is breaking into tears at a press meeting, the wheels are soon to come right off! (Ottawa Sun, Saturday, October, 22 2011, p. 18) But all this was brought on by the said Minister himself. Those damn Europeans don't appreciate little bogy's from the colony's telling them in public how to run their business! He just can't understand it! He always shows up with the smartest central bank governor in tow, like a Fisher-Price pull toy on a real short string! Why doesn't any one love me? The best advice which I am sure I am not the first to offer is : SHUT THE FUCK UP JIMMY!!!! It is always much better to let people assume you are a git fool, without opening your mouth and constantly confirming it! It is no secret that the Minister hates unions, especially members of that god damned European Union!!
In closing, the Oracle of Ottawa must comment on the front page story on today's Ottawa Citizen, concerning the return of art works to the Art Bank of Canada now in various government offices throughout Ottawa. It seems that the "homo-erotic" works of one Evergon are being called in as if their present locations are going to serve as the Canadian Papal Nuncio in the near future! Nothing is further from the truth! All the said "home-erotic" works are being fought over fiercely by three secretly gay Ministers of the Crown, which of course must go un-named.....
A little plug and reality check of the vengeful Gods truth-tellers!!
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