Alice Munro - Nobel Prize SHOCKER!!

Each person's willingness to contribute is contingent upon the contributions of the others.
John Rawls, A Theory Of Justice, p. 270

No matter how bad things seem to get, you just can't give up hope. While Canada is presently in the depths of the throes of the fascist 'Harper Government' and you can literally feel the Just Society of Canada being dismantled by the corporate over whores, things could change on a dime and give you a nickel in change. It pays to get up out of bed and seize the day. Today was one of those days.

Alice Munro - undisputed Queen of Canlit...

It was while watching the local lunch time news of the old vulgar CTV corporate television that the Oracle of Ottawa first heard the shocking, unbelievable news that Alice Munro, a university drop out from Wingham, Ontario won the 2013 Nobel Prize in Literature! (and the 1.2 million dollars that goes with it...) The Oracle of Ottawa can't describe the initial feeling as he heard the words. How could this have possibly happened? Alice Munro is certainly not New World Order approved. The Oracle of Ottawa has never seen a 250 book mountain display of an Alice Munro book at his local Chapters store. As far as the Oracle of Ottawa knows Alice Munro has never been a Heather Reisman pick. And the Oracle of Ottawa is pretty certain that the Bilderberg Group would never approve of Alice Munro's dangerous writings, that smack of the desire to at least attempt a dangerous social experiment or two.

Nobel Prize medal...

Adding to the Oracle of Ottawas shock is that he was convinced that this years winner was going to be Margaret Atwood, the unquestioned Queen of Canlit. Why only last night she appeared on Charlie Rose! She was a very close friend of all the Greats, especially Northrop Frye! She had just released Madd Adam the third book of some trilogy that the Oracle of Ottawa read about recently. (just in time for Christmas shopping....)  She was certainly New World Order approved, since the Oracle could not but help notice the multiple 250 copy book mountains that are presently at the entrance of all the Chapters outlets at the time of this writing. The media blitzt that Maggy has sustained in recent weeks truly impressed the Oracle of Ottawa. Surely it was all to coincide with her winning the 2013 Nobel. Surely it was all in the bag? 

 The great message of Alice Munro winning the Nobel Prize in Literature, is that no matter where you are in the world, no matter your social and or economic origin, no matter if you write in long hand on a pad on the dining room table while the kids are at school and your spouse is at work, you could, maybe, just maybe, just like Alice Munro, win the Nobel Prize in Literature! It sure as hell has given the Oracle of Ottawa a much required lift, and the memory of an unforgettable day. It will serve as an inspiration forever.

George Jones - Someday My Day Will Come

I'll be the one I want to be
Someday my day will come...
George Jones, Still The Same Ole Me, 1981

It was with great surprise that the Oracle of Ottawa heard of the passing of George Jones. What surprised the Oracle of Ottawa even more was that he died cared for, and in bed, and that he lived to be 81 years old. It is a hell of a long way from Saratoga, Texas to being a pillar of Western Popular Culture. Many readers are no doubt surprised that the Oracle even knows who George Jones was, but the Oracle must come clean and freely admit that between the most excellent rock concerts of my fondly misspent youth, the Oracle would always crank up the radio when a George Jones song came on in the car. And growing up in the Ottawa Valley we had one of the first FM Classic Country stations, CKCY. and everyone up the valley tuned in, and back in those days it was all Classic Country, and if you listened you were very familiar with George Jones.

George Jones strikes a wicked Hunter S. Thompson pose
and see's it all to the end.

The Oracle of Ottawa comes from a generation that can very easily remember the sound of the Grand Old Opry coming in through an AM radio on a Saturday night in the 1960's. And of course we all heard the stories of George as he became more and more famous and his life careened more and more out of control. And in recent years as more and more details availed themselves from George himself, the Oracle of Ottawa was forced to realize that Keith Richards was really just a ribald amateur compared to George Jones!

The excess was legendary. The Oracle can't help but comparing the similarities of the lives of Hunter S. Thompson and George Jones. Both were equally famous in their craft at very nearly the same time in American cultural history. One in the printed word and the other in song. One survived it all and one did not. There are some very important lessons here. The first is that is very hard to kill a Marine, and George Jones was a Marine. And the second lesson is that a man will survive most anything if he does not give up on his God(s). And the Oracle was always impressed with the Possum's deep underlying faith. So much for Fredrich Nietzsche...

New High Density Power Source - Wait For It...

The future often seems improbable until it happens.
William Greider, One World, Ready Or Not, p.91

One of the most important requirements for Western Civilization is a source of cheap power. The biggest problem today is that we have maxed out all the available old sources. We really need a new super source of cheap, clean, unlimited electrical power. In another moment of dangerous reflection the Oracle of Ottawa was pondering that time long ago when he first attempted to become a digital man. Yes, with my first notebook and a dial-up internet connection, the Oracle of Ottawa explored the brave new world that lay before him. One of the fun things that the Oracle of Ottawa used to love to do for a hearty laugh was go to You-Tube and watch the free energy videos. It was insane and just pathetic. At this time the Oracle of Ottawa was a very cynical young man, who knew that there was and never will be such a thing or break through...

Thomas Edison - Method! What Method?

 In this same recent moment of dangerous self reflection, the Oracle of Ottawa had a realization that several of the most important developments that we enjoy today were not discovered by the correct use of the scientific method and an extensive knowledge of the theory that was actually at work. They were discovered by accident! There are now even books that catalog these serendipity discoveries! And it is not as thin a book as you would think! Two of these greatest inventions (accidents?) are Viagra and the light bulb! 

The Oracle of Ottawa has always found the story of the light bulb the most interesting. The first practical light bulb was "invented" by Thomas Edison. The company that he founded still exists today, it is called General Electric! Now Thomas Edison had all of three months of formal education! Why even Jethro Bodine got to the dizzy heights of the sixth grade! Thomas Edison never even heard of the scientific method, let alone used it. Thomas Edison was the proponent of the simple brute force method of discovery. My favorite story is that while working on the light bulb he got stumped by what kind of wire or filament, that thing that glows inside the bulb, to use.  He simply made up a very long list of all the available candidates and tried every one of them and there combinations until he found the one that worked! The tungsten filament. The rest is just history now... You can still see that actual list that he used and made up. I think it is in the Smithsonian or the Edison Museum. 

The nut of the matter is that science doesn't always work the best in all situations. The Oracle of Ottawa now realizes that in certain kinds of problems that the You-Tube development lab method of seeing what the other guy is doing and then adding to it or taking some part of it away is very powerful indeed. Why the Oracle of Ottawa predicts that the next big energy breakthrough will happen and be developed by some guy, some where on Earth in a garage or a bedroom will be the next to launch tomorrows power technology. Now the Oracle of Ottawa knows that there are certain laws of physics that cannot be broken, but thinking about all the great inventions of the past, the idea is how to bend these laws, to get to the required goal.... 

Zero unity power, free power, unlimited power. That is all crazy talk, isn't it?

Ottawa "Sinkhole" - The Real Story...

There is a point at which a transformation has to take place.
Peter Drucker, Management: Tasks, Responsibilities, Practices, p. 640

Well it was another day that the Oracle of Ottawa was gratefully thanking his Maker that he was retired! There will be no two and a half hour commute for the Oracle of Ottawa, for endless weeks on end. Hasn't amalgamation been wonderful? Why look at the money you are saving! How could something like this even happen? Well, we will get into that...

Mohr's Circle - Too much information?

First of all let us clear up one large detail. What actually happened when that car drove into that large hole in the middle of Highway 174 was not a sinkhole! What actually happened was a structural failure. Big difference. The Oracle of Ottawa has provided a reference so that you can make an intelligent decision. Old school civil engineers would also remind you that a structural failure is also known as a "whole lot of law suites"!! But not to worry, the City of Ottawa doesn't have any of those pesky old school engineers left. They have all since been dismissed since amalgamation. Although they were always right, no one "liked them".

And who was that pathetic "pepsi" that was calling himself director of infrastructure? Was Jean-Guy a real engineer? I mean one that is presently in good standing with the Association of Professional Engineers of Ontario? Did his story sound true to you dear tax payer? No? Sure sounded thin and made up off the cuff at the last moment to the Oracle of Ottawa.  Why don't you, dear taxpayer, call 311 and find out for yourself? Maybe the Mayors office could tell you all the required information...or not. And what about that pathetic Counsellor Bob "Low Rent" Monette? I am sure at the next municipal election those murderous feelings of frustration that you experienced today will come back very clearly...vote accordingly.

Well in the days of the Regional Municipality of Ottawa - Carleton something like this would have never happened. Back in the olden days before amalgamation the lads from RMOC actually checked over all and  every one of these structures more than once a year! Do you think that is being done today? Are you sure? Why don't you call 311 and ask... And especially this huge storm drain culvert that opened up on Highway 174... You could actually walk upright in this mother! You know it is huge when the car has actually, at the time of this writing, not yet been found! That is one Mother of a culvert!! Do ya think??

The top of the culvert was 2.5 metres under the roadway. If you look at the video below you will see that there is no bedding at all. They just literally  paved over the dirt in 1975. But back in 1975 Orleans was all but and still a rural community. The Ottawa Citizen has all the details, just Google it and read carefully, all very interesting. Now in 2012, it is a major part of Ottawa. The traffic on this roadway has increased exponentially since 1975, and you don't need the Oracle of Ottawa to describe the heavy truck traffic do you?  Didn't think so...

For all of you stakeholders, that actually have the required professional qualifications for your job, you know what a Mohr Circle is. And you of course will have no problem visualizing all those heavy truck tires as a bunch of rolling Mohr Circles... transmitting very high jolts of load that just hammered the top of  that, all but unprotected, culvert. Along with all those years of steady but sure salt seepage, the sucker finally packed in and failed. When you think about it, it is amazing it lasted this long... What!? Too much information?

If you thought today was bad dear stakeholder, you ain't seen nothing yet! You will be living in your crawling car for many weeks to come. And since you are nothing but a part of the New World Orders obedient and frightened workforce you will bitch but you won't dare make a peep that anyone else will hear, will you? You wouldn't dare start and or join a class action law suite would you? Didn't think so. God's Speed skid....         

This will be awesome for tourism, wont it? Look at all the money the City saved....

'Chez' Tim Hortons - Total Cultural Fail

...The Edge...There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. The others - the living - are those who pushed their control as far as they felt they could handle it, and then pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when it came time to chose between Now or Later.
Hunter S. Thompson, Hell's Angels, p. 271

Tim Horton was a legend as large as the life he lived. Twenty four seasons in the NHL, a fist full of Stanley Cup rings and an appearance on six NHL All Star Teams. And just to show he wasn't another jock, he also became a legend in the business world. Tim, it appears, was big on the spaghetti algorithm of investing. If you have a lot of spaghetti you just keep throwing it against the wall, eventually something will stick. He was one of those rare people who accepted that we are all dealt a hand of cards in life. The key to greatness is to get your cards to the right game, and play out your hand to the max.

There selling WHAT??

Long before Tim Horton passed away, the Tim Hortons doughnut shops were a multi-million dollar operation. The factor that made the business such a success was the high quality and the common touch. Going to a Tim Hortons is a lot like going to church or Las Vegas. All social and class distinctions are left at the door. If your a cop or the mayor or even the goddamned Prime Minister of Canada you get in line and wait your turn to be called to the counter.  Why in Ottawa you could even sit in beside a cabinet ministers riding association meeting. The Oracle of Ottawa was not making that up! A quick glance about could save you a lot of trouble, it is all in the seat selection...

That flimsy foreign stuff will fuck you up every time!!

If you are a road warrior for a utility or any municipality in Canada, The local Tim Hortons is your defacto office, cafeteria, restroom, and in emergencies the place you go to lay low. The reason for the popularity is that the menu is basic and of high quality. Basic, simple items all ready to go, sell very quickly, so when things are busy you are usually in and out like a flash. The key is the quality, simplicity, value and speed. Canadians are busy people. If you want to pose and flaunt your high social standing while trolling for a trot you go to Starbucks and order whatever the wally's and trot's drink at Starbucks!

Now that was brand!!

The Oracle of Ottawa has been informed, by those that know about such things, that having a Starbucks close to your secure bunker is a very good sign to secure and higher future shelter value. And wouldn't you know it? There is a Starbucks very very near to the Oracle of Ottawas secure bunker! Well actually, truth be told it is too close. I have yet to set foot into the place. If I want a shot of American Imperialism I'll stay home and watch CNN or Fox News that is on my cable package!

Don't mind that whirring sound, it's just Tim
spinning in his grave...

Every time I walk past that Starbucks, the Oracle of Ottawa shudders. Could you even imagine Hunter S. Thompson sitting in a Starbucks, sucking on a double skim milk, gluten free Latte, with a chocolate happy face sitting on top of the foam? Right, I think not. But I have no problem seeing the great Doctor at a very busy Tim Hortons in a working class or lower neighborhood. Late in the middle of the night, especially ten to fifteen years ago, when they had ashtrays, and the stools at the counter! There would be the Doctor with his favorite newspapers, four large double-doubles and one doughnut of every kind in a pile like an Inuit Igloo! Yes, today's weirdness is tomorrows reason why...

Who said you couldn't die twice??