'Harper Government' - Dive Angle Becomes Acute

Some, like most bankers, are so unfit for success that they look like dwarves dressed in giants clothes.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed Of Procrustes, p. 29

Well, my fellow Canadians, if you thought Peter Kent was a hoot at being the 'Harper Government's minister of environmental affairs, you ain't seen nothing yet! It seems that the lads, the punks in short pants, at the Prime Ministers Office has been saving the best for the last. How thoughtful of them! Somehow Joe Oliver has been named the Minister of Finance after the wee banty Jimmy Flaherty pulled the plug yesterday to get even with Jason Kenney for all those nasty true things he said about Rob Ford. 

Joe Oliver - Functional?

It all seemed like a good idea at the time when the Rob Ford scandal(s) broke wide open, for Jason Kenney and other Conservative leader hopefuls to get a free bump at the free cost of one of their fellow conservatives upon hard times. Yes Sir! If your not cheating, your not trying. It seems that the wee banty finance minister took fatal and catastrophic umbrage with his fellow conservatives. The wee Jimmy knew that if he pulled the plug out from the wall quickly it would cause a chain reaction very similar to the internal workings of a nuclear weapon upon its fatal mission. The wee minister was very astute.

Ed Holders vision of High Technology...

 There are so many people under the Conservative ideological bus that the wheels can longer touch the ground to get any traction what so ever. The buzz in Ottawa is that the only reason that Joe Oliver got the nod for the finace ministers job was that he just happened to be in Ottawa at the time of the disaster. He was supposed to be out West for a bunch of gigs when he forgot who we was again. To save any embarrassment to the Boss he was sent back to Ottawa faster than a lost set of car keys with a War Amps tag. Fate is such a bitch mistress, isn't she? The fatal and terminal chain reaction was started.

Joe Oliver was duly named to the post of finance minister. But solving one problem just causes another one. Joe Oliver was the minister of natural resources, or as is widely acknowledged in Ottawa, the Minister of Tar Sands. Someone had to be pressed into Joe's old job. But who? The problem was solved by Greg Rickford, a nurse with a law degree (?), would be a perfect patch into the Ministry of Tar Sands from his present post as Minister of State for Science and Technology!? Got that? Even my conservative readers, I am sure, can see the uncontrolled runaway reaction setting in now.

Now of course someone has to be Minister of State for Science and Technology! But there is no one left. As the baby fat candles burned late into the night at the Prime Ministers Office, by dawn today a solution had been cobbled together. A back bencher by the handle of Ed Holder, an economic refugee to Ontario from Cape Breton with a degree in philosophy from Western, according to his web site, will be the new Minister of State for Science and Technology.  Every fat, frustrated conservative in Canada from coast to coast to coast with a pen that writes in four colors will be overjoyed.