The Repatriation Of Omar Khadr - The Real Story...

And the rarest dangers are those in which failure brings little loss and success the greatest advantage. 
Thucydides, History of The Peloponnesian War, Book VII, 7.68-[3]

It was with the greatest surprise that the Oracle of Ottawa awoke to the totally surprising news of the return of  Omar Khadr to the land of his birth  - Canada. As the Oracle of Ottawa believes that the members of a nation - state are people of one family, the Oracle of Ottawa was truly happy at the news. In every family there is the one bad-ass, the one black sheep, but the bastard is still family, and that is all there is to it. We have many facilities to take care of our bad ass'd bastards here in Canada. Thank you very much....

Omar Khadr partying in Afganistan....

But it came as real shock to the Oracle of Ottawa that not every one was as elated as the Oracle of Ottawa at the blessed event. Why on the CTV news network you would have thought that Ducks Ass Alberta just got nuked! The right wing talking heads were just about in a catatonic fit! And they went on and on and on! What the hell were they so pissed about really? Well the Oracle of Ottawa had to pull a few threads, and soon enough the whole sordid tale was puked up...Let the Oracle of Ottawa explain the scenario....

As you know dear reader there is a Presidential election in the United States coming later this fall. President Obama is not one to let promises made go undone, is he? And he promised that he would close Gitmo, and the man will get it done, won't he? Well the story goes that Vic "The Dick" Toews was called in for a little meeting at the American Embassy in Ottawa, sort of social call, you know, the Ottawa routine... with the American Ambassador to Canada. It all started innocently enough until the issue of Omar came up, The Ambassador wondered aloud how it was that the Canadian government refused to repatriate one of their own citizens, and even worse went to the Supreme Court to not repatriate him! Americans, who are very big on their theme of leaving no one behind, were pretty appalled at the actions of the 'Harper Government'.

Vic "The Dick" was again  gently reminded of the urgency of the situation and was again asked what ever could the reason be that the 'Harper Government' was refusing to cooperate? At this point Vic "The Dick" got all cocky with the American Ambassador! Well, a button was pushed, in walked the CIA station chief! And he was carrying a very posh state of the art digital audio player. He let it play. It was most interesting indeed! There were recordings of calls from a leader of one certain micro state in the Middle East that was requesting that old Steve of the ' Harper Government' could possibly do a little favor for the said micro state, by not accepting the repatriation of Omar Khadr until after the election! As this would make it impossible for the said detention camp to be shut down before the election!  There were also several very uncalled for comments on the present American President and the utter urgency that under no circumstances could he be allowed another four years.

Well, the story goes, it was at this point that Vic "The Dick" puked all over his shoes and the Ambassadors nice posh carpet! He was then informed that the plane containing Omar would be landing by CIA flight at CFB Trenton Saturday coming, and if the plane was not allowed to land the said tapes in their entirety would be played on a very widely watched American public affairs show the Sunday following! Imagine the fallout Minister? Why the 'Harper Government' could fall by the following Wednesday! Well that did it folks! You just cant screw with the power of the NSA, can one? Indeed no. Patting off the remaining barf, Vic "The Dick" beat it to the bosses office, and related how the near future was going to evolve. Well! Steve had a total melt down of a shit fit! Not unlike Hitler in his bunker at the last days the Reich...Medical assistance for that "cold" was required yet again.  cough...cough...   

This also explains why the 'Harper Government' refused to show up at the United Nations shindig, and why he opted for that award from an allied organ of  that above mentioned Middle East micro state.....It is the Oracle of Ottawas greatest hope that this could all be confirmed in the House at the next Question Period.
And there you have the sordid tale dear reader.....

And the above contains the final results and other minor details....