Stanley Knowles, The New Party, p. 80
Too many friends can be truly hazardous to your health. And with the onset of the plague of "online social networking" the Oracle of Ottawa often wonders, just how many friends does one person really need before it becomes a real problem greater than the supposed benefits? Well, while on an auto day tour yesterday with my significant other, the Oracle of Ottawa heard on CBC Radio 2 that of all the recently filed divorce cases in all of the United States the word "Facebook" occurred in over 33% of them!
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The Oracle of Ottawa remembers very well when the world was not at all like it is today. When the Oracle of Ottawa was fab, a man could pass through society without leaving any traces for anyone save and except his national government, that at the time, only used such information in the direst emergencies. What the hell happened to that world? Why is it that everyone seems to be engaged to enslaving himself to everybody else for not even non-monetary rewards?
When some robo calling packie pollster calls the Oracle of Ottawa, I inform the little insect that the Oracle of Ottawa does not give free information to anyone. Then the Oracle of Ottawa inquires if the said little insect can meet my minimum billing requirement. If the Oracle of Ottawa does not hear the correct response, the little pollster insect is forcefully told to fuck off forthwith! The Oracle of Ottawa as you can readily imagine is seldom bothered.
Why should you provide the corporate overlord whores of the New World Order with anything for nothing? Why are all the skidmarks out there in the world so stupid and gullible? Nothing steams the Oracle of Ottawa more than waiting in a retail line up with his cash in hand while some poor white trash skidmark buys a newspaper with a fucking debit card! When you do stupid shit like that you are providing the corporate over whores with priceless marketing data that they will surely use against you! Does interact or visa ever send you a check for working for them? No? You stupid, brainless, skidmark fuck...
True and real friends are very rare indeed. The Oracle of Ottawa knows for a fact that most of us will go through this life and probably several others and never really have a one true friend. What is the definition of a true friend? There is one acid test of a true friend. Try this thought experiment. You call up your best truest friend in the world at 2:00 a.m. and inform him or her that you have to get rid of a dead human body, no questions asked, and would you be kind enough to bring a large blanket or old carpet, and oh yeah, a shovel.
What? I told you, you don't really have a friend in the whole goddamn world, do you skid?
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